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Original poster

The funniest real names you've heard!

739 replies

CityCommuter · 22/09/2021 21:31

A Vodafone door to door salesman was doing the rounds on our road earlier with the latest offers that aren't available online apparently... anyway he left his business card and when I saw his name I had to LOL as it was Robin Crowe! His family must love bird names Grin

OP posts:
Rinoachicken · 23/09/2021 14:15

Also worked with a lady whose surname was King and first name began with an F. Which was unfortunate as our company email was j.smith@

So her would have been f.king@

Except the system wouldn’t accept it - too rude! So they had to invent her a middle name so it became fl.king - not sure that’s much better tbh!

TartanDMs · 23/09/2021 14:16

Just checked our staff email directory and we have a Karen Coren and an Emma Barrass. Poor women. I don't know either of them though so they could be married names.

JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:17

@doris9034

My Dad used to work with an Andrew Dick. They used to have nameplates on their office doors with first initial and surname ..... apart from this guy!!
We once knew Alan Gay, he had fun signing letters to paretns with his initial and surname! I once had an encounter with an American who used his initial and surname, not sure I explain as it has massive racist overtones. He was called, in full, Aloysius Kuhn, pronounced to rhyme with 'spoon'.
Rinoachicken · 23/09/2021 14:17

Ooo ooo! All coming back to me now! Also had a secondary school teacher called med Harnon. Except he wore VERY tight trousers and was very well endowed. You can image what we all called him.

Bit creepy now, when you think about it!

MurielSpriggs · 23/09/2021 14:18

Haven't read the whole thread.

Have we had the gloriously named Warwick Hunt, Managing Partner and Chief Operating Officer, PwC United Kingdom?

JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:18

@WarProf

One of the teachers in my secondary school was called Mr Wankling. He lasted less than a year. Why would you go into teaching with that surname?

The development officer at my college was Gloria Mundy.

Fred King had similar problems as a teacher!
WarProf · 23/09/2021 14:19

I can imagine!

JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:20

@Iamthewombat

I too used to do the ‘look through the email directory for funny names when bored’ thing in my twenties.

I proudly shared an employer with one Bettina Bonkas. She was german though, so probably less comical in her own land.

Pen Island got many hits on their website from very disappointed people. (Leave out to space)
CounsellorTroi · 23/09/2021 14:22

There’s a firm of solicitors in the Midlands called Wright Hassell.

Elefant1 · 23/09/2021 14:22

I knew a Dr Foster who lived quite near Gloucester.

SnakesandKnives · 23/09/2021 14:25

I know a Fanny Forest and a Misty Nail which both make me smile and used to do a sport with two brothers who both changed their surnames to funkyboogaloo-smythe (I have no idea why)

JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:26

@SingingInTheShithouse

I once taught a James Bond, he looked just like the Milky Bar kid though.

@JudgeJ

How weird, I was at school with a James Bond, who also looked like the milky bar kid. I'm old though, so it would be very unlikely to be the same one unless you are in your 90s

Ha, not quite 90 except in my knees, it was in West Yorkshire in about the early 1970s if that helps!. I also taught a Neil Murray at the time JK Rowling got engaged and he was exactly like her fiancee would have looked when he was about 15!
gluenotsoup · 23/09/2021 14:29

Roman Temple

Bloodypunkrockers · 23/09/2021 14:29

@YukoandHiro

My dad had a friend called Norman Conquest.

I told my teacher friend this and she said she had a Saxon Conqueror in her class.

He was a history teacher at one of our local secondary schools
JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:32

@Whatamesssss

Headmaster called Mr Whore, he was a lovely man.
We once knew a lady with the surname of Hoare in Gibralter where the Hoare family is very prominent. At a drinks do she had had a few, or many, and when asked if she was related to a Brigadier Hoare she breezily replied 'Dahhling, I'm related to all the Hoares in Gibraltar!'.
TheWatersofMarch · 23/09/2021 14:35

My Gran had a friend called Olive Grove and another called Cherry Pye. (Both married)

LoislovesStewie · 23/09/2021 14:35

I used to live near a Mr Wanke. I think the name was German but inevitably was not said in any Germanic way. And I went to school with a Hoare.

JudgeJ · 23/09/2021 14:36

@Tulips15

I know someone called James James.
Gary and Tracy Neville's father was Neville Neville.
WingingItSince1973 · 23/09/2021 14:38

@GuyFawkesDay

Lecturer called Richard Goodenough. Known as Dick. Unfortunately named child: Izmam Zahoor A Dr De'Ath Taught a Michael Jackson and a James Brown (early noughties)
I knew a Richard Goodenough too also known as Dick. Knew a small child called Willy Rider. Poor thing. Also years ago reading a newspaper article about a crime and the police officer was Chris(topher) Cross.
dworky · 23/09/2021 14:39

Went to school with a Teresa Green and heard about a Hugh Jarse!

CherylStreep · 23/09/2021 14:39

Sandy Balls
Mickey Love
Richard Cockburn (pronounced Coburn)
And have taught a Colin Farrell, a Megan Fox and a Holly Wood(s)

VitalsStable · 23/09/2021 14:41

JudgeJ there's a family in the UK who are quite aristocratic called Hoare, C Hoare & Co is the oldest UK bank and there's also a T Hoare who passed away quite recently and ran a gold broking company. I worked for him for a while, really nice chap.

user1471428785 · 23/09/2021 14:42

Went to school with a Beverley Hill

Gingerkins · 23/09/2021 14:43

Many years ago I nursed Nora Carrott!

Clarich007 · 23/09/2021 14:43

Catering manager.. Miss Kitchen, honestly it's true. I worked with her