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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Daddy Daughter Date" AIBU?

113 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/09/2021 18:59

Friend is seperated. Her ex has the kids EOW and takes them out once a week each individually. All good. Except she insists on calling the time he spends with their dd as a Daddy Daughter Date. I cannot satisfactorily explain why but it winds me up! It just sounds wrong somehow, not in an inappropriate way dont get me wrong, just nauseating and twee and I get the ick whenever she says it. FYI when he does the same with her son she doesnt call that a Daddy Son Date. She doesnt say it about her and her dd when they go out but does call it a Mummy Son Date when its her and the boy.....vom....

AIBU for hating this phrase? I know IABU for getting so wound up over something that does not impact me in anyway!

OP posts:
TooBigForMyBoots · 22/09/2021 19:22

Nasty term. Lovely thing to do.

3scape · 22/09/2021 19:23

Every time she says it. Say "well that's a creepy way of putting it". Does she have no idea how bad it sounds. Grim

GreekTragedy · 22/09/2021 19:23

Play Dates gives me the ewww too! Yeugh expression.

knittingaddict · 22/09/2021 19:25

Yes, all the things you said op.

Skysblue · 22/09/2021 19:26

Yeah it’s gross to me too because of the flirty/sexy connotations to ‘date’ 🤢

PumpkinsAndCats · 22/09/2021 19:27

Is it much different to a “play date” which everyone seems to say.

oakleaffy · 22/09/2021 19:27

I agree OP
I have a puppy and was invited on play dates for puppies!
It’s the Date bit that always seems so strange to me.
Daddy Daughter Date sounds really odd to me.
Like he’s dating his daughter.

AuntMargo · 22/09/2021 19:28

I am with you on this, its cringe worthy, my 40yr old friend says this about her and her dad, and her dad even calls her babe, as does her partner !! I so have to bite my tongue !!

Chocolatier9 · 22/09/2021 19:29

I thought this was going to be about some new custom from the Deep South, like Purity Balls.

HikingforScenery · 22/09/2021 19:30

@Peanutsandchilli

It's nothing to do with you and it's a little sad to get all wound up and feel you have to ask strangers on the internet about it. It's nice that the kids get to spend time with their parents and feel special. Who cares what they call it?
I’m with ^.

It’s not reference I’d ever use but all the videos I’ve seen on SM featuring these are cute.
It doesn’t bother me at all

EmoIsntDead · 22/09/2021 19:30

Gross 🤮

Anonymous48 · 22/09/2021 19:34

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe

For those frothing at the dad HE isn't the one saying it....

I agree it is cringey op. It seems to have floated over from America along with calling school discos ' proms' amd baby showers.

Just no.

I live in the US and this is not a thing here.

I agree with most people. It's a lovely thing to do but it's a horrible term.

Rainallnight · 22/09/2021 19:35

I find it completely ick too.

But then again, we say play date, and that’s not a date date.

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 22/09/2021 19:40

My Dad used to say this and it made me feel uncomfortable, even as a child. YANBU

Block · 22/09/2021 19:41

It's revolting and unnecessary. YANBU.

Block · 22/09/2021 19:42

@Rainallnight

I find it completely ick too.

But then again, we say play date, and that’s not a date date.

And who says play date? That phrase gave me the ick 20 years ago.
Aorh · 22/09/2021 19:43

Part of me dislikes it, and the other part thinks that a date is dedicated quality time together and therefore it makes sense and it’s nice to call out that that’s what that time is for.

Coffeepot72 · 22/09/2021 19:43

The term ‘date’ has sexual connotations

Flowers500 · 22/09/2021 19:43

When she says that, question why she thinks it’s cute to basically call her ex a paedo. It’s disgusting, when they stay over is that a one night stand with daddy? It sounds just as repulsive to the vast majority of people, so ick it makes my skin crawl.

Flowers500 · 22/09/2021 19:46

@Aorh

Part of me dislikes it, and the other part thinks that a date is dedicated quality time together and therefore it makes sense and it’s nice to call out that that’s what that time is for.
Ewww no, you’d hopefully not “get lucky” or “pull” or “come in for another drink” with your child…
StoatMilk · 22/09/2021 19:46

Agree it’s grim.

LightDrizzle · 22/09/2021 19:46

Bluergh!!!
I agree, unlikely to be sinister but it's just wrong. It's being a parent isn't it? Maybe one-on-one time if there are siblings and you are deliberately giving both some individual attention.

Aspiringmatriarch · 22/09/2021 19:47

YANBU, it's gross and creepy. Envy

Rainallnight · 22/09/2021 20:02

@Block Pretty much every single parent I know.

toocold54 · 22/09/2021 20:03

I don’t have an issue with the phrase daddy daughter date if they’re going out for a special meal just the two of them or something. I actually think doing things like this can show young girls how to be treated respectfully and have positive associations when a man takes her out for a meal for example. I also don’t have an issue with the word play date and nothing sexual comes to mind at all. A date is literally a certain day it has no sexual meaning to it.
However what would annoy me was if she’s calling it daddy daughter date when actually it’s him just being a parent doing nothing more special than what the mum dies every day.