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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about landlord popping round all the time?

164 replies

Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:25

We just rented a lovely place and signed a year's contract. The house was previously lived in by the landlord so has been very well maintained.

I'm sure she's very nice but she keeps popping round unannounced and it's starting to irritate me. It's never ostensibly because she wants to check up on us but it obviously actually is. For example she didn't redirect any of her post so she keeps coming round to collect it. She had a parcel delivered here this morning which she came to collect.

I really don't like it as I want to feel that this is "our home" while we pay rent here - I've lived in rentals before and never seen hide nor hair of the landlord other than when there's been a problem to resolve. But I also don't want to piss her off or be unreasonable.

AIBU or should she not be doing this?

OP posts:
SpittinKitten · 22/09/2021 16:27

It's not OK- legally you need 24h notice for any landlord visits.

Still1nLove · 22/09/2021 16:28

Does she come in when she pops over to pick up her post?

TinnedPotatoesRock · 22/09/2021 16:28

She shouldn't be doing this no, you're entitled to quiet enjoyment of your home and she's intruding on that. Do you rent through an agency or directly from her, if it's an agency ask them to have a word

Lunificent · 22/09/2021 16:29

Is she trying to come in or does she just come to the door?

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:31

She doesn't come in, she just stands at the door, but the door opens directly onto the living room so you can pretty much see the entire downstairs. It feels intrusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:32

I just feel like - she could have just had her post redirected. It feels like an excuse to come round IYSWIM.

OP posts:
GinIronic · 22/09/2021 16:34

She has no right to pop round when she likes. You need to make this very clear to her or she will be part of your lives for the tenancy. Ask for her address and either re-send it or mark it return to sender. In future, say no to any parcel deliveries not addressed to you.

Doubledoorsontogarden · 22/09/2021 16:34

I’ve been a tenant and a landlord, this isn’t on. Ask her to stop

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:36

I've got her address but she specifically said no don't bother forwarding it, I'll come and collect it.

OP posts:
TaraR2020 · 22/09/2021 16:36

@SpittinKitten

It's not OK- legally you need 24h notice for any landlord visits.
This

Start redirecting post addressed to her and tell you'll continue to do so until she can get the address changed.

(So for each letter, cross out the address and write: "Redirect to ")

Thank her for her interest in making sure you settle in and tell her you'll contact her if you need anything.

Remind her that you'd appreciate at least 24hrs notice of a visit.

NoSquirrels · 22/09/2021 16:38

How long have you been moved in?

TiredButDancing · 22/09/2021 16:40

When did you move in? If this has been going on for just a week or two, I'd put it down to an adjustment period. If it's been a month or more, then I'd also be getting irate.

I think the trick here is to be polite but abrupt. She pops round, you open door, hand over parcel, smile sweetly and say, "It's so frustrating having to get all the new addresses right isn't it!? Here you go, can't chat - just busy in the kitchen/dinner/with DC, enjoy your day". And close door.

If she still doesn't get the hint I'd be getting more proactive. eg, parcel arrives, you text her and tell her that a parcel has arrived and it's not convenient for you to keep it so you'll leave it round the side and she can collect and please do try to get all delivery companies aware of new address...

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:41

We've lived here nearly 3 months now.

Not only that but the neighbours seem to be reporting back on us. I know because of things she drops into conversation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:42

I just feel like she obviously (having lived here before) feels like this is still "her home". I mean obviously it is, but you know what I mean!

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 22/09/2021 16:42

I think that you just need to be honest with her and say that you feel that its intrusive and you want her to re-direct her mail and give you 24 hours notice of any visits as is your rights.

Otherwise it will carry on.

RLOU30 · 22/09/2021 16:44

If it was last week that you moved in and she needed her post urgently I MIGHT be okay with it but 3 months and she is still doing this shit? Na I would be redirecting all of her mail and telling her to give me 24s notice if she needs to come over and even for that I would want a pretty good reason.
Poor you, you must feel like a lodger !!

melj1213 · 22/09/2021 16:44

How long has it been since you moved in? If it has only been a couple of weeks it might be that she hasn't updated her address everywhere yet but if it is any longer then I would start returning things to sender.

You're perfectly entitled to tell her that it's not convenient for her to keep popping round "to collect the post" and she needs to get it redirected. If you are feeling generous you could agree to her coming at a set time and day (so you know she is coming and don't have to worry about a random unannounced visit) for a short period of time and then after that anything else that arrives will be returned to sender.

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:45

So the other day when she came round my son had all his toys out in the living room so it was a state (perfectly clean, just messy). She kind of peered over my shoulder and went "oooh, it'll be tidy up time soon". Hmm

OP posts:
IglesiasPiggl · 22/09/2021 16:46

You definitely need to say something.
It sounds like she isn't an experienced landlord so may not be aware that this isn't on. She needs to change her mentality and emotional attachments.

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:46

My son has SEN and is home educated so she knows we're always here.

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 22/09/2021 16:46

@Thesandmanishere

So the other day when she came round my son had all his toys out in the living room so it was a state (perfectly clean, just messy). She kind of peered over my shoulder and went "oooh, it'll be tidy up time soon". Hmm
Fuck me. I would have said “isn’t it home time soon”
ChargingBuck · 22/09/2021 16:47

@Thesandmanishere

I've got her address but she specifically said no don't bother forwarding it, I'll come and collect it.
Then you need to specifically say "no, don't bother coming round for it, I will either redirect it, or you can do the redirection from your end to save you coming here every day."

When she - inevitably - pushes back against that, get even more direct -
"I think I'm not being clear enough - it doesn't suit me to have you calling at my home unannounced, so you we need to find a solution to that. The easiest one would be to have your post redirected, like most people do when they move."

I know you don't want to upset her due to the uneven power balance, but the alternative is to have her turning up to nose-ache at your living room on a daily basis.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/09/2021 16:48

I agree, say it needs to stop and you will redirect Mail so you need her address-if she won’t give it, then return to sender! And she needs to stop ordering stuff to your home

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:49

OK I think I need to pull up my big girl pants here and be assertive.

The thing is, we are honestly really good tenants. We take good care of everything, we keep the place clean, we pay our rent on time.

OP posts:
Akire · 22/09/2021 16:49

3m that’s not on at all. She should have her mail redirected. Is she not legally renting it out? Odd letter can understand but parcels? I’d refuse to accept them and say must have missed the delivery. Yes tempted write return to sender on all post. The bank will soon be touch with her to find out what’s happening.

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