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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about landlord popping round all the time?

164 replies

Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:25

We just rented a lovely place and signed a year's contract. The house was previously lived in by the landlord so has been very well maintained.

I'm sure she's very nice but she keeps popping round unannounced and it's starting to irritate me. It's never ostensibly because she wants to check up on us but it obviously actually is. For example she didn't redirect any of her post so she keeps coming round to collect it. She had a parcel delivered here this morning which she came to collect.

I really don't like it as I want to feel that this is "our home" while we pay rent here - I've lived in rentals before and never seen hide nor hair of the landlord other than when there's been a problem to resolve. But I also don't want to piss her off or be unreasonable.

AIBU or should she not be doing this?

OP posts:
CanofCant · 22/09/2021 16:49

I wouldn't like that. Is there anyway of not opening the door to her or could she see you through the window? It all sounds very claustrophobic.

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 16:52

Is she not legally renting it out?

Yes totally legal, was all done through an agent (but they don't manage it, they just let it out for her).

OP posts:
PercyPiginaWig · 22/09/2021 16:54

@Thesandmanishere

My son has SEN and is home educated so she knows we're always here.
In that case it's even worse that she keeps popping round. I've never met my tenants, all done through an agency, and would never intrude on them like this.

I think you need to tell her that her unplanned visits are too disruptive for your son and not convenient and that she will need to redirect her mail.

I know it must be difficult as it feels like she holds all the cards.

You could potentially keep all mail and send once a month but I wouldn't even want to do that.

Cam001 · 22/09/2021 16:54

This is not on. We're circumstantial landlords (we rent out the flat above our business premises) and hardly see our tenant. We only pop round if she has a problem. You haven't said if you rent through an agency? If you do I'd have a word with them. If you don't you need to be pleasant but firm.

Chloemol · 22/09/2021 16:55

Just tell her it’s not convenient to keep popping by, so you will leave her post in a bag at the end of the path, or redirect via RM

Akire · 22/09/2021 16:55

I’d play the we are entitled to legal and quiet enjoyment of property. Coming over few times is fine but is she going send everyone Xmas shopping parcel and Xmas card to yours? Can you add a note to next pick up post saying that and ask that everything be redirected in next 28days or you will send things back. How happy would she be if she moved back in after a year and you keep sending your mail there?

SpaceOp · 22/09/2021 16:57

Oh my, 3 months? You need to nip this in the bud.

Next time, tell her that if she's struggling to get her stuff changed, you'll just redirect it in future. When she says no, you need to say, "I think it's better as it's very disruptive for home schooling/ family time to have you popping round to fetch things all the time".

Also, no more standing at the door chatting. If she must collect something, hand it to her, say goodbye and close the door.

You can't stop the neighbours from commenting on you all the time, but you don't have to put up with a random stranger who feels she has the right to comment on your life.

NoSquirrels · 22/09/2021 16:58

Three months! That’s really annoying.

Yes, I assume she’s not a ‘professional’ LL and is too emotionally attached to the house.

I think you need to be honest and say “LL, please could you make sure you have a postal redirect set up? It’s been over 3 months now.”

And when she says “But I don’t mind popping round to collect” you reply “It’s making me feel like the house is temporary, rather than our home - I’m finding it a bit annoying, if I’m honest. No other landlord has ever done this before. I really would prefer it if you redirected the post.”

ChargingBuck · 22/09/2021 16:58

@Thesandmanishere

So the other day when she came round my son had all his toys out in the living room so it was a state (perfectly clean, just messy). She kind of peered over my shoulder and went "oooh, it'll be tidy up time soon". Hmm
I would have been hard put not to tell her to fuck off out of MY home at that point.

You're right OP, she still thinks it's her home & views you as some kind of subordinate lodger.

Time to put her straight. Especially about the things she lets slip that she can only heard of via gossiping neighbours. "I don't recall telling you that, can't imagine who'd be discussing my private business with you" might at least stop her from banging on at you about her & other people's opinions, even though there's nowt you can do to stop her gossiping.

Tell her you understand she feels an attachment to the property as it was her home too, but it's yours now, & as a professional landlord, she needs to respect the law about your right to peaceful enjoyment of your home & that means to daily visits have to stop. You now require 24 hours notice of a visit, which must be for essential repairs or maintenance only, & you are no longer her personal post office.

Sparklesocks · 22/09/2021 16:58

If she’s unable to trust that her tenants are looking after her house without constant check ins then she’s not able to be a landlord. You either live in the property or you don’t, you can’t have it both ways. Remind her of her responsibilities and that she can’t just rock up when she fancies without notice.

ChargingBuck · 22/09/2021 17:00

@Thesandmanishere

OK I think I need to pull up my big girl pants here and be assertive.

The thing is, we are honestly really good tenants. We take good care of everything, we keep the place clean, we pay our rent on time.

Point this out as a pre-amble to your Serious Talk About Boundaries with her.
Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 17:01

It's stuff like "I heard you had a party last weekend"

We didn't have a party, we had our in laws round for afternoon tea in the garden. And we weren't even remotely loud. My son has selective mutism. He is not a loud child. We didn't play music or anything. And we were all indoors by 6pm.

OP posts:
Ionlydomassiveones · 22/09/2021 17:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/09/2021 17:03

I would be putting a stop to this nonsense immediately. She's nearly stalking you, ffs. Totally unacceptable.

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 17:04

Thanks everyone. This has been pretty unanimous. My husband thinks she is bang out of line and wanted to say something to her ages ago but I always feel like I shouldn't be causing trouble.

OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 22/09/2021 17:05

Next time she calls tell her she needs to redirect her post. If she says no then tell her you will be sending it back with 'not at this address' on it. Stop answering the door to her. Make sure she cannot get in by locking the door or leaving a key on inside so hers won't work. She needs to get the message.

RedHelenB · 22/09/2021 17:07

@Thesandmanishere

I've got her address but she specifically said no don't bother forwarding it, I'll come and collect it.
And at that point you should have said no bother, we'd prefer to do it that way as we like our privacy.
NoSquirrels · 22/09/2021 17:08

@Thesandmanishere

It's stuff like "I heard you had a party last weekend"

We didn't have a party, we had our in laws round for afternoon tea in the garden. And we weren't even remotely loud. My son has selective mutism. He is not a loud child. We didn't play music or anything. And we were all indoors by 6pm.

Ugh, even worse!

Be direct if she says anything like this again

“Oh, was there a problem, did someone complain to you? None of the neighbours mentioned anything to us. It was a tea party.”

Then she’ll be forced to say “No, no complaints” and then you can say, politely but firmly with a Paddington Bear hard stare, that in that case, it’s rather odd to mention it- it feels rather intrusive to know we’re being talked about by the neighbours and our landlord.

She does need to understand this is not how private renting relationships work AT ALL.

(Speaking as ex LL)

HalzTangz · 22/09/2021 17:09

@Thesandmanishere

We just rented a lovely place and signed a year's contract. The house was previously lived in by the landlord so has been very well maintained.

I'm sure she's very nice but she keeps popping round unannounced and it's starting to irritate me. It's never ostensibly because she wants to check up on us but it obviously actually is. For example she didn't redirect any of her post so she keeps coming round to collect it. She had a parcel delivered here this morning which she came to collect.

I really don't like it as I want to feel that this is "our home" while we pay rent here - I've lived in rentals before and never seen hide nor hair of the landlord other than when there's been a problem to resolve. But I also don't want to piss her off or be unreasonable.

AIBU or should she not be doing this?

Quote your rights to her (which should also be in your lease) that you have a right to a quiet and peaceful life and that she should only call round at an agreed time to discuss a repair or carry out a 3 or 6 monthly inspection.

Tell her that post needs to be redirected and parcels to go to her new address.

Saoirse82 · 22/09/2021 17:10

@Thesandmanishere

I just feel like she obviously (having lived here before) feels like this is still "her home". I mean obviously it is, but you know what I mean!
No, it's not her home, it's your home. This would absolutely infuriate me.
Lizzy1980 · 22/09/2021 17:11

I was in a similar position about 5 years ago. The house we were renting had previously been lived in by the landlord. They are supposed to give 24 hours notice before they visit which he did on all but one occasion. Occasionally we would receive post addressed to him, mostly just junk mail as anything of importance had been redirected. Every month or so he would call to say he'd be calling round to collect his post and we would arrange a convenient time. It didn't really bother me but it used to piss my boyfriend at the time off no end as he thought it was an excuse to come round and have a nose. I never got that impression. One day I came home from work and the small pile of post I had put aside for him on the hall table had gone. He'd let himself in to collect it when we were out. I wasn't very happy but the ex was pretty fuming. He hadn't called in advance so I assume he just turned up and when no one answered the door he let himself in. I hope he didn't venture any further than the hallway but who knows

Original poster
Thesandmanishere · 22/09/2021 17:12

I'm seriously concerned she would let herself in if she came round and we weren't here.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/09/2021 17:13

Is she close enough by to knock on her door and drop mail off and comment on her home??

Is LL managing director or through and agency?

RandomMess · 22/09/2021 17:14

Your entitled to cHange the locks so long as you change them back at the end of the tenancy I believe.

HalzTangz · 22/09/2021 17:14

@Thesandmanishere

Thanks everyone. This has been pretty unanimous. My husband thinks she is bang out of line and wanted to say something to her ages ago but I always feel like I shouldn't be causing trouble.
Get your husband to tell her then and direct her to some landlord sites and how landlords need to respect a tenants privacy