@nestoftables
I think the discussion around people just avoiding making an effort, or whether the effort is worth the reward (which seems to vary for different people but will also depend on what socialising you are doing) is interesting.
As I said earlier, until recent decades people didn't have to make as much effort to have a social circle. Larger families and different generations living near each other. Knowing people through work, religion, etc. And just bumping into people in your own community regularly which builds up familiarity and sometimes leads to friendship.
But now that it needs to be a big effort, especially if people don't live in a walkable distance, it turns into a decision rather than just how life is.
This is spades.
When I was growing up in the 1970s, most of the women didn't work, they didn't drive, and many of them - especially say, over 40 (so born 1930s and earlier,) had never^ worked, so they never had ex-work colleagues ...
They had their husband working all day, and they never had the internet, or netflix, or 100 tv channels, facebook, smartphones, or amazon, and as I said they couldn't drive so couldn't go anywhere unless the bus was going there... And the small close community/family and friends/ pubs/ shops/ bingo being within 20 minutes walk was absolutely essential.
The bingo once a week and a night at the pub was their social life, often with friends or family members. They would have been very isolated with no family or friends or social activities nearby. My mother would have had just 3 TV channels and her knitting for company most of the time if not for living in a traditional old close community where everything/everyone was within a 20 minute walk.
Now, I live with just me and DH (kids left several years ago,) I work part time, I drive, the closest shops and doctors, and train station is 3-4 miles away, and my extended family is 17-25 miles away. I see them maybe 3 times a year. (I do see DC twice a month though, and see friends once a month-ish.)
But I have the car, friends in my village as well as outside it, a part time job I enjoy with lovely colleagues, the internet, 100 tv channels, a couple of hobby groups I partake in, and a beautiful area that I live in to walk around. With woodlands, canal, and river... Not too far from mountains too...
I can get in the car and be by the sea within an hour. Driving is the one thing I would struggle to do without. I would feel so trapped without it. Yet, barely any woman I knew pre 1980 could drive. And the older the woman was at the time, the less likelihood she would be able to drive. People didn't need to drive when everything was on your doorstep! Family, friends, job, pubs, shops, doctors, schools etc etc... Driving is essential for many now everything is not...
As you say though, socialising/going to see people now is such an effort and a ball-ache most of the time. There's no popping round for a coffee 2 or 3 times a week, like our mothers and grandmothers etc used to do, because so many people live dozens (or hundreds) of miles apart, so it can be more of a chore to meet up. Not always, but sometimes.
Although I enjoyed growing up in that close 'pop in for a coffee' community, I would not like it now. I prefer my alone time, spending time with DH and the cats, (and my adult DC and friends every few weeks,) But I couldn't be arsed with people popping in every day. May have been OK for women when they had very little else to do. But I am too busy and occupied to be arsed most of the time.