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AIBU?

AIBU - she told her employer I'd worked for her

259 replies

Dibbydoos · 19/09/2021 18:46

So friend - met through work 10yrs ago - started a new job. I'm self employed. She said she told her employer about me and try wanted to interview me. I said salary is low side - about £30k less than I earned in my last proper job - but OK. Had the interview, my friends on the panel. She asks me a question, I start to think about an answer and she starts answering it for me. I let her finish and then say, yes that's an example but I was thinking about ... and give my example. I'm a bit perturbed. Then she says we'll you did work for me and I say, we reported to different directors, my director was an exec and your directors boss. They tell me they're going to make me a job offer. I catch up with my fried for lunch with another mutual friend. As mains are served she says and you'll be working for me. Our mutual friend says, that's not going to work. Don't ruin your friendship over work. I agree, it won't work as they're going to pay me more than you and in any case it'll get in the way of our friendship. She says we'll I didn't going it would be a problem as you've worked for me before and I tell her politely but straight that I've never worked for her. Finish lunch, me and mural friend are car sharing and she says wtf. I say wtf I'm so pd off. We were the same level but I reportedto an exec director she reported to his direct report how could I have worked for her. Well it seems that's what she told them. Someone a couple of years earlier said to me that I'd worked for her and I put them right. So how long has been saying this? I've always been on a higher salary than her and outside of consultancy held more senior roles than her. Anyway I told her to correct it cos it wasn't untenible otherwise and she aired me for 5 days, so I told her to do one. Our mutual friend said I'm being reasonable, she's obviously upset and I found myself a great contract so all's good workwise, but she's fd up my options with that consultancy now and has clearly been somehow using me to big herself up at work. I feel bad cos she lost her daughter 2 years ago and her mum's just died too. I don't know she has many friends who are balanced and reasonable like me, but she crossed a line imo. First time I've cut a friend off in my life. What do you think? AIBU?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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You are being unreasonable

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You are NOT being unreasonable

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Rosscameasdoody · 19/09/2021 20:40

@Butchyrestingface

Gee thanks. I have a bachelors and masters degree and write for a living - didn't realise the English police would be reading my post....

I struggled with parts of your post too. This part, for example:

Anyway I told her to correct it cos it wasn't untenible otherwise and she aired me for 5 days.

How did the airing go?

I struggled with this too. You may have a masters degree but I can’t see how you write for a living if your post is anything to go by as your spelling and grammar are appalling. !! And no I don’t think YABU - your friend sounds hard work and it sounds as though working together would be a car crash.