To wonder why mens' stag 'events' have to be so long?

DillonPanthersTexas · 19/09/2021 17:16

Certainly from experience a week long stag bash is the exception rather then the norm. Most are usually a Friday to Sunday event.

Original poster

Luanna1 · 19/09/2021 17:17

DH has been on a few over the years that have been a week. Usually they're a minimum of 5 days.

OP posts:

TakeYourFinalPosition · 19/09/2021 17:21

They don’t have to, I suppose… and I’ve never heard of one that didn’t have options for people to join or leave as they needed to.

DH has been to two that were five-day holidays, out of maybe 40 stag events - he went to one for the full time, as it was a close friend and he’s best man at the wedding, but different people left and joined daily - the other he went for the weekend.

It seems pretty cheeky to invite your DH if he’s not invited to the wedding.

girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 17:23

Your husbands friends are taking the piss.

DP has been on probably 10 stags in the last 3 years and the longest are Friday-Monday.

Most are max 2 nights, some are 1 night.

DeadButDelicious · 19/09/2021 17:24

I remember when stag do's were just a night out at the pub 😂😂

Wombat96 · 19/09/2021 17:25

That's a boys' piss up holiday, not a stag do, if you're not close enough to go to the wedding.

I'd go on hols too, the kids will survive on takeaway.

PaperDolphin · 19/09/2021 17:25

I've never heard of a stag or hen do that takes a week. I think a weekend has become the norm for both.

DdraigGoch · 19/09/2021 17:28

I'm pissed off! There is no way I'd be able to fuck off on a week long holiday and if I did it would take me weeks to deal with all the mess, laundry etc that had built up when I was away. And the kids would be fed takeaway.
Why can't he step up and deal with it?

Original poster

Luanna1 · 19/09/2021 17:29

@DdraigGoch

I'm pissed off! There is no way I'd be able to fuck off on a week long holiday and if I did it would take me weeks to deal with all the mess, laundry etc that had built up when I was away. And the kids would be fed takeaway. Why can't he step up and deal with it?

He just wouldn't! I've been away a few times for a single night and I've come home to a mess, the kids have had takeaways for three meals a day, and he doesn't do any laundry or even unload the dishwasher as apparently it's so hard.

OP posts:

HugeAckmansWife · 19/09/2021 17:30

because (as a generalisation) a lot of men think it just means getting a week off their paid employment. They assume that the default parent (ie the mum) will just manage, even if they also work full time. If a mum was to contemplate this they would know that it would mean sorting a vast amount of domestic mental load and juggling of childcare. Its more hassle than its worth so they don't. As I said, generalisation but not an untrue one :(

AppleKatie · 19/09/2021 17:34

I voted yabu not because I think what he’s doing is ok but because I can’t believe you are so accepting and resigned to it.

It isn’t ok. If he wants a week long piss up fine as long as you are getting a week to do what you want to do (during which he behaves like a responsible adult) somewhere else.

LuckyAmy1986 · 19/09/2021 17:35

@AppleKatie
Thing is, you get what you are willing to put up with..

girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 17:37

@Luanna1 if he's that useless I'd suggest he stays for 2 weeks

wedwewerpink · 19/09/2021 17:39

Yabu your problem is not the stag weekend it's your dh. I have gone away for several hen weekends/holidays ranging from one night to 10 nights and each time my dh has managed to feed the children well and keep the house tidy.

pippapoo62 · 19/09/2021 17:44

On a plane going to Majorca and there were 20 young men wearing stag like tee shirts a few years ago . One was sat next to me and he told me that they had all told their wives/ girlfriends that they were going on a stag weekend because their friend was getting married. In reality no one was getting married they just wanted a boys weekend away and had lied to their partners. It seems that if he hadn't said stag his wife wouldn't have let him go. They all thought it was hilarious.

DillonPanthersTexas · 19/09/2021 17:54

I remember when stag do's were just a night out at the pub 😂😂

Blame Ryanair, in the late 90s being able to fly to Prague for a fiver seemed a bit more fun then a night down the Red Lion.

Outbutnotoutout · 19/09/2021 17:58

The problem is you have a partner who won't step up and work as a team at home.

I can't do that, it's too hard....what a load of bullshit, basically means I won't do that, because I don't want to

Tell him to step up or fuck off

MissAmbrosia · 19/09/2021 17:58

Why did you agree to it if you're not even invited to the wedding? I don't have an issue with going somewhere separate but you should both have the opportunity to do so. Where will you be booking your week away?

scarpa · 19/09/2021 20:04

Your problem isn't the stag do. The problem is your partner won't step up and take his share of the responsibility.

Merryoldgoat · 19/09/2021 20:17

Your problem is your husband is useless.

My husband has gone away for one night. Before leaving he batch cooked two lots of meals for the kids, cleaned the kitchen and did some ironing (whilst also doing breakfast and lunch).

I’m never going to understand women who have such low expectations from a person they reproduce with.

Wombat96 · 19/09/2021 20:20

I'd be asking for details of the wedding.

I think you're getting taken for a ride.

GotToGoBye · 19/09/2021 20:21

My DH has been to about 8 (maybe more) and they have always been 1 or 2 night weekend “events”.

dreamingbohemian · 19/09/2021 20:31

So he's a shit husband and father

That's exactly the kind of guy who goes on a week long stag do

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/09/2021 20:36

The trend seems to be long stag do’s for the males and the whole big day for the brides based on the last few weddings I’ve witnessed.

I much prefer the simple night out with friends and an intimate wedding and hope that’s what my children do when the time comes. I’d rather they got on the property ladder than had a big party.

scoopydoopy · 19/09/2021 20:38

I once went on a hen do for a week. Was great! Wouldn't do it all the time though ...