To wonder why mens' stag 'events' have to be so long?

[Luanna1]

DH is currently away on a week long jolly abroad in a hot country for a friend's (not a close friend, we're not even invited to the bloody wedding!) stag do!

I'm pissed off! There is no way I'd be able to fuck off on a week long holiday and if I did it would take me weeks to deal with all the mess, laundry etc that had built up when I was away. And the kids would be fed takeaway.

Why do men have to have such long stag events?

My mate had a week long hen do and all participants were her old school, friends.

Week long hen or stags are the exception.

Your issue is your DH and a further issue is your reaction to his behaviour. You need to find your anger.

Stop doing absolutely anything for him, you need a serious discussion or you will be a skivvy to him till the day you break up or one of you dies.

@Merryoldgoat

Your problem is your husband is useless.

My husband has gone away for one night. Before leaving he batch cooked two lots of meals for the kids, cleaned the kitchen and did some ironing (whilst also doing breakfast and lunch).

I’m never going to understand women who have such low expectations from a person they reproduce with.

Bit harsh, but I agree with you.

I'd never have children with a man that can't unload the dishwasher or put together a meal. Ridiculous!

My mum: How’s Gemma?

Me: She’s in Corsica for a week. Or maybe Crete. Somewhere beginning with C. Corfu?

My mum: On her own?

Me: No, with some mates.

My mum: Oh - who?

Me: I dunno. ‘Eileen’ rings a bell.

Daughter (forking risotto): Dad, you’d be the easiest husband in the world to have an affair on.

Me: Ready for trifle?

He just wouldn't! I've been away a few times for a single night and I've come home to a mess, the kids have had takeaways for three meals a day, and he doesn't do any laundry or even unload the dishwasher as apparently it's so hard.
Then go away for a week like he does and he'll eventually have to stop slobbing it out and act like an adult.

MN people are surprising tolerant of the stag concept. Considering they are about as naff and common as you can get without piercing a baby's ears

@DressBitch

The thing is it’s a self perpetuating nonsense and children will see and emulate.

Until women stop putting up with this bollocks and start teaching their girls they deserve a full partner, and their boys how to BE a fully functioning partner it will just carry on.

I have two boys and they see two parents working together with equal input to give them a stable home.

and PARENTS teach obviously.

Because they do what they can get away with to the full capacity of their elastic conscience. Who wouldn't want a week long holiday to do as they please away from their families, if they're honest? It's just women (and some men to be fair) put responsibilities first, while others have partners who wouldn't tolerate it.

@girlmom21

Your husbands friends are taking the piss.

DP has been on probably 10 stags in the last 3 years and the longest are Friday-Monday.

Most are max 2 nights, some are 1 night.

How are they taking the piss exactly? His friend wants to have a week long stag do, which he is perfectly within his rights to do. He has a number of friends who also want to do the same. OP’s DH was invited to go to an event that is a week long - he doesn’t have to go for the full duration, but he wants to. If anyone is ‘’taking the piss,” then surely it’s OP’s DH?

@Merryoldgoat

I wholeheartedly agree. My son is only five but he already has "jobs". He sees my husband doing a bit of everything and often helps.

My own dad refuses to make his own bloody lunch!

@DressBitch

And guess what? My husband was brought up by a staunchly feminist mother and an extremely involved, kind and capable father who did nighttime’s, feeding, and his share of chores.

It’s no accident he and his brother are the way they are.

Voted yabu because as has been mentioned a few times, you have a dh problem here.

Also a YABU as you’re just being a martyr.

You’re also living in your own bubble. Why do you think your husband going on multiple long stag events makes them the norm? Surely it’s logical that it happens in clusters - if you go to one like that, you’ll be more likely to go to others. Because you must be moving in the kind of circles where it’s economically possible. News flash: just like most hens are not a week in Ibiza, most stags are not week long holidays either.

YABU to buy into the idea that you can’t leave him to manage house and family when you’re away.