If you are an adult and was homeschooled..

[SchoolNoMore]

… i would be keen to hear your experiences and pros/cons such an approach has had on your life.

We have made the decision to deregister our 12 year old son from school due to skyrocketing anxiety and friendship issues. It got to the point where he was breaking down in the mornings and just refusing point blank to acknowledge us talking to him or get dressed, he is a smart kid, sensitive and we decided to home school. Naturally, i am scared and worried about what that means for his future and future prospects.
If you have been through this yourself, i’d be greatful to hear your experiences and how this impacted your life, career, mental health, social life/skills. Is a good outcome possible in such situation?

[quote JayAlfredPrufrock]@SignOnTheWindow. Like I said might just be me. What’s your contribution?[/quote]
My point, though I would have thought it quite obvious, was that an onlooker's opinion of two home educated children was not representative of home educated children in general.

My real contribution is further down the thread, in case you're interested.

I home Ed my kids - although eldest now in 6th form doing A levels. On a practical level we use these resources that you might want to check out -
Computer science - Learntec (fab)
Maths - Absolute Maths
History and geography - Humanatees
Science - Southwest Science School
English- English Elephant

They are all good and offer video lessons - live or recorded and reasonable prices. They also usually have marked homework.

The tricky bit will be finding time to supervise and get your son out to social events, trips and sports around your work.

@Orangejuicemarathoner that’s not true at all. My dd took them over four years and got into sixth form college. We know other home educators who’ve done the same and gone on to uni. Doing them spread out like this hasn’t stopped anyone we’re aware of from using their GCSEs for further study. As they’re self studied and self funded higher education establishments will accept them taken this way.

My main concern would be whether you're kicking a problem (his anxiety) into the long grass rather than dealing with it.

What support have you accessed for this? Is it triggered by a situation at his current school or by school in general?

Intahigh might be a good short term option while you get him some support with the aim of him returning to some sort of schooling in a year or so.

[quote AnimalTheDrummer]@Orangejuicemarathoner that’s not true at all. My dd took them over four years and got into sixth form college. We know other home educators who’ve done the same and gone on to uni. Doing them spread out like this hasn’t stopped anyone we’re aware of from using their GCSEs for further study. As they’re self studied and self funded higher education establishments will accept them taken this way.[/quote]
It is true, and this misinformation is so dangerous.

I have lost count of the number of times I have sat in enrollment with sobbing children and/or parents who don't understand why they are being turned away from course they thought they were qualified for, when we don't count any GCSEs taken before year 10.

Its heart breaking

Some of those students may be young enough to go to school and retake a GCSE year, but many are not.

Very very common situation - down to misinformation spread among the HE community - like this post.

Just because your children avoided the situation, doesn't mean others will. Whether or not a school or college will lower the entry requirements for a HE child depends on many things, and mostly we can't afford to

Sent you a pm with some info @SchoolNoMore

@Orangejuicemarathoner why would they need to go to school to retake the GCSE? They wouldn’t. They’d just sit it as a private candidate.

You’re talking about your college, you don’t speak for the whole country.

My University didn’t bat an eyelid at some of my GCSEs being taken in Y10.

@Orangejuicemarathoner I’ve honestly never heard of that before. Not saying you’re making it up of course. But I’m sure it’s not a common thing. I’m heavily involved with the home ed community (UK wide) and know many, many kids who’ve gone on to uni and never heard of it being a problem. And it certainly isn’t at our local unis. But if it does cause a problem in some establishments then you’re right, it is important for home educators to know, just in case.
Advice I hear a lot is to work backwards: what does your child want to do eventually? If it’s uni then look into those courses and find out what’s needed to get in. Do your research. Then work backwards to get the qualifications needed.

Just to say OP when you go looking on Facebook look for Home Education rather than home schooling. Hope you can find a way to make it work for you.

I think I'd consider counselling first. Dd was the same 18 months ago, it was a horrible time. Bullying caused severe anxiety and she stopped going to school. Her school were great to be fair, did everything they could to get her back in, gave her an exit card, put her on a reduced timetable etc. Luckily we managed to get her some counselling at the beginning of lockdown. It didn't solve the problem but gave her coping mechanisms. She didn't do as well in her GCSEs due to it but she did well enough to do what she wanted to do at college. She still struggles with anxiety, but can cope with it better.

I'm in a high profile creative industry (trying to be vague. Not sure why...). As such, I'm represented by an agency.

At the beginning of the first lockdown my agent was really stressed, as they were trying to manage our careers without childcare. I reassured them that I had been homeschooled, and it was fine, and the children would be ok.

My agent replied that they were quite shocked, because I was then one of about a quarter of their clients who had also been homeschooled and had said the same thing.

I thought that was really interesting. It's certainly a disproportionate amount of people in that industry.

Hi op @SchoolNoMore also twinkl does great online resources. I got a membership during the lockdowns and I was able to make a resource file and follow a lot of their guidance.

Yours is older than mine but twinkl is great.

(Hope you are still here after the random bun fight that seems to have derailed the thread.)

Theres also a farm in forest row with homeschool kids on a Thursday and also revolutionary montessori (look on FB) they do additional group work with homeschooling kids.

Like I said, dh doesn't want mainstream education and that's fine but I am trying to find a balance.

At the end of the day all you want as a parent is a happy child with a decent education. (How hard can that be....?!)

IME tuition is more likely to be needed for secondary age. Covid has meant there is far more available online too. Some of my pupils (I’m a maths tutor) are in ks3/4 and more of my 12yo DS’ friends are having lessons for various subjects now. Tomorrow we are meeting his new chemistry tutor as although DH is decent at science, DS has a real passion for it and we want to give him the best chance of succeeding not just coasting. They also have links with an exam centre and can help with arranging the exams and practicals etc - this is a huge thing as it can be difficult depending where you are.

It is worth making connections locally. There may be others who will split the cost of a tutor to teach small groups etc.

Just saw you’re in the same county as me @SchoolNoMore - feel free to PM :)

I do think it’ll be trickier with working FT. HE is quite intense if your child needs support (like my DS - he is autistic with ADHD and even on his stronger subjects he really needs pushing to stay on track). It doesn’t need to take as long as a school day though - working one-to-one can be very efficient. It also doesn’t need to be in school hours so it’s worth thinking about whether the main bulk of his work could be done when you’re home from work, and just set him more independent/consolidation tasks etc for the daytime. It would take a lot of motivation if you’re tired etc but not impossible!

There are also colleges that take HE teens - one of my pupils is now at a 14-16 provision 3 days a week to do some qualifications. So that’s an option for year 10/11 when he gets to that age.

@SingToTheSky

I do think it’ll be trickier with working FT. HE is quite intense if your child needs support (like my DS - he is autistic with ADHD and even on his stronger subjects he really needs pushing to stay on track). It doesn’t need to take as long as a school day though - working one-to-one can be very efficient. It also doesn’t need to be in school hours so it’s worth thinking about whether the main bulk of his work could be done when you’re home from work, and just set him more independent/consolidation tasks etc for the daytime. It would take a lot of motivation if you’re tired etc but not impossible!

There are also colleges that take HE teens - one of my pupils is now at a 14-16 provision 3 days a week to do some qualifications. So that’s an option for year 10/11 when he gets to that age.

Whilst the ‘school’ work might not need to be done during the working day, if the OP has been working all day and then needs to turn around and eg cook, do laundry, eat, shop etc, it doesn’t leave much time to tutor a child who should also be using ‘after school’ hours as social time with other children who have been in school all day, in order not to miss out. Especially given that the OP won’t be able to take him to daytime activities with other home educated children.

It sounds very unlikely that either mum or child will find the situation sustainable, and that risks derailing his education and therefore his future.

YABVU. I’d be exploring therapy and getting to the root cause of his anxiety and looking at other nearby schools before I ever considered home educating.

Personally I think home educating is insane unless a) you’re a qualified teacher b) your DC is absolutely facing horrific bullying at school or has SEN that is not being correctly supported.

If you work FT how would you teach your child? The syllabus is advanced, varied and wide ranging. If your DC is to stand any chance of doing A Levels and going to a decent University they’d need to get very good GCSE grades from being educated by you and your ex husband. Are you up to that? Won’t you be too tired after a full day of work? Are you academic yourselves?

If you withdraw your DC from school their anxiety with probably worsen, they’ll lose friends and be more introverted, you’ll be cutting them off from a good education and mixing with children of their own age.

Look in to moving schools, and ask your GP for a referral for counselling for your child or pay privately for therapy (if you can) to address the anxiety.

@Mombie2021 are you teaching your daughter maths and English as well?

@VestaTilley Yes and no. She will crack on with both herself and come to me if she needs help, like she did during lockdown. Same for Science although she’s only pursuing Biology and Chemistry (I’d have to get a tutor if she wanted to do Physics because I despise the subject).

Almost all my friends that home ed are ex teachers/Uni academics so I have ways of bridging the gaps if I need to, although I’m a STEM Graduate myself so hardly a dummy

Have you looked into every other option local to you? There’s a unit close to me for children with anxiety who struggle to attend school.
I’ve worked in numerous schools, they are like workplaces and can vary so much. A different school can make all the difference.

What do you think being home all the time will do to his anxiety? I know DDs mental health deteriorated in lockdown. She is quiet and anxious and constantly tries to get out of going to school but honestly overall going does her a world of good.

I have a friend who is currently ‘homeschooling’. Except she’s not. He messes about on bbc bitesize for a bit and does nothing else as she works and didn’t sign up for anything online.. He’s not been in formal education since lockdown. Honestly I’ve know him since he was 4, his behaviour now is odd. She also doesn’t socialise him with children his own age at all. It’s awful.

@murasaki

If you didn't realise that it should be 'were' homeschooled, I'd suggest you don't inflict it on your child.

Snob

That’s a good point tulip it would depend if he could independently get to the social events/clubs etc during the day - may be unlikely if the anxiety is so bad. My DD (was happily HE for a few years but decided to try school again just before covid arrived) would have been able to manage that - and did travel to various HE and after school classes/social meets alone when needed from year 7 age. DS is technically year 8 now but wouldn’t be able to manage the independence at all (they’re both autistic but he struggles more with this side). He’s very sociable but would end up on Minecraft all day if left to his own devices 😳

I home educate my (now year 12) daughter. She is severely disabled (ASC and other co-morbid conditions) and we were told that her mainstream high school could no longer meet need. We were offered schools for children with learning difficulties hours away from where we lived. My child has always wanted to do Computer Science in uni and the entry level Functional Skills we were offered weren't going to cut the mustard in terms of UCAS points.
I deregistered and began to home educate - using a combination of teaching her myself, online schools and DLPs - someone left a good list above - who provided small classes for home educators.
Last year (end of year 10) we did 4 IGCSES and my child achieved all grades 7-9. This year we did Computer Science AS and she got an A and did 2 more IGCSES (all grade 9s).
If I'd followed professional advice, my child would now be in a daycare centre. She's doing 3 A levels with an online school.

I have tried to home educate my DS whilst working and found it unsustainable tbh. I just didn't have the energy to do both my job and home Ed well and felt I was failing at both. I home educated DS from year 4 - 6 and then caved and sent him to secondary school.
What I would say is that you won't be best placed to facilitate the social side of home Ed if you are working.
In your situation I would consider a change of school rather than home Ed.

My husband was homeschooled but not properly. His sister and little brother slipped through the gaps totally-- he was picked up at 14 and sent to a behavioural unit. No qualifications but he did a design NVQ.

He never thought it badly impacted him, in fact he thought it contributed to his good points. However as someone who went through traditional education I can see myriad disadvantages he has.

1- Never having to deal with common school social situationsmakes him unable to deal with common social difficulties

1. No qualifications meant he was always bottom-rung professionally
2. He was overlooked for jobs due to no quals
3. He struggles now with studying and exams, having had no experience of them

But--- I had a terrible time with bullying at senior school and still suffer the emotional consequences. School was an emotionally abusive nightmare time for me.

I think if you make sure he gets his exams done, and has good social opportunties, he will be fine.