AIBU about needy husband

[Redsportsmixture]

So not posting in relationships as not after advice, just wondered if anyone would feel the same.

DH is so needy, it drives me mad. Always wants to hold hands, have his arm round me, kissing my cheek, stroking my hair. It gets a bit suffocating. A lot of the time it’s a pain too. We have young kids and I have a pushchair to manage so have him grabbing my hand on one side and I end up feeling like I’m being led about like a six year old.

I suspect lots of people would love it so am I just being grumpy?

Ensure his hands aren't free? Give him a dc /pram /shopping!!
Or tell him pda are for teenagers!!

If that's how you feel that's how you feel.

I am gearing myself to have a chat with my husband about how it would be nice if he occasionally kissed me without being asked, held my hand, or put his arm around me, so can't really relate but if it annoys you you should tell him.

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Ensure his hands aren't free? Give him a dc /pram /shopping!! Or tell him pda are for teenagers!!

I think that’s why I don’t like it - feel embarrassed. Even if his hands are free he’ll stop pushing the pram to have an arm round me / hold my hand.

This would annoy me, there is a time and place for lots of affection. While you are pushing the DC is not it

It isn’t always me pushing the DC. But I don’t like holding hands even if we didn’t have a child in a pushchair.

This is not normal, not healthy, and it would drive me absolutely insane. Have you told him, very clearly, that this must stop? It's very controlling, possessive behaviour on his part. Ick.

I enjoy the touchy feely-ness at home but hate it in public. Sometimes if we're waiting in line at the supermarket etc DP will start rubbing my back and I hate it! I do just tell him to stop and he's gotten better but his instinct seems to be to reach to me all the time. Which I guess is sweet, but does annoy me.

I'll hold hands if the area is not busy (when I was single I always hated those couples who took up the footpath by insisting on holding hands) but hugs etc are for home.

Please no advice. It’s not controlling and it’s not abusive and I don’t need to LTB. It’s just irritating.

I think holding hands (if you don't have your hands full!) or the occasional touch, like a hand on your back when you're walking through a doorway for example, is nice and it feels like an acknowledgement but I'd hate being constantly touched. It feels like his trying to mark his territory and feels unnecessary.

If it was just at home and he liked a cuddle on the sofa when you're watching tv, for example, I could deal with that.

Is his name Bob?

Urgh, that would be bad enough normally but with small kids too I'd be so touched out I'd have the screaming abdabs.

@Redsportsmixture

Please no advice. It’s not controlling and it’s not abusive and I don’t need to LTB. It’s just irritating.

It is controlling, and it is abusive if you have told him to stop and he refuses to.

I love a little bit of PDA, however, that sounds too much. Tell him he is invading your personal space.

@Iamblossom

If that's how you feel that's how you feel.

I am gearing myself to have a chat with my husband about how it would be nice if he occasionally kissed me without being asked, held my hand, or put his arm around me, so can't really relate but if it annoys you you should tell him.

I'm with you on this one - I feel sad that DH rarely does it and wish he did it more but then I guess according to some posters on here I'd be considered emotionally abusives we aand controlling for asking him to do it

I'd call that loving and affectionate. Enjoy!

Needy is when he wants you to pick up his dirty laundry, makes his sick-day excuses to his boss and be nice to his vile mother because he darent stand up to her.

I’d hate that but I’m not touchy feely at all and have a tendency to flinch (not on purpose!) if anyone goes in for a hug.

Just be honest and say it’s nice that he wants to be so affectionate but he’s driving you mad and it needs to stop when out and about or when you tell him to stop

Redsportsmixture
Please no advice. It’s not controlling and it’s not abusive and I don’t need to LTB. It’s just irritating.
It is controlling, and it is abusive if you have told him to stop and he refuses to.

Why post about it if you don’t want advice?

Personal space is personal space. I wanted more of it after breastfeeding children. Having them on me 24/7 meant I did not want to be touched when they finally went to bed!

Has he always been like this?

Just wondering how others would feel about it. I wouldn’t post on AIBU for advice, tbh. It’s more a place to gauge views, surely?

Oh this would drive me nuts, it's met with a swift "gerroff" from me!

I'd feel suffocated too, contact at the right time, to the right extent. When I'm trying to walk never. Always puts me out of step then I strain something in the confusion.

I’d love it

@Redsportsmixture

Just wondering how others would feel about it. I wouldn’t post on AIBU for advice, tbh. It’s more a place to gauge views, surely?

It would absolutely do my head in.

Just tell him

Then every time he starts just say I asked you not to do this and move away