AIBU about needy husband

[Redsportsmixture]

So not posting in relationships as not after advice, just wondered if anyone would feel the same.

DH is so needy, it drives me mad. Always wants to hold hands, have his arm round me, kissing my cheek, stroking my hair. It gets a bit suffocating. A lot of the time it’s a pain too. We have young kids and I have a pushchair to manage so have him grabbing my hand on one side and I end up feeling like I’m being led about like a six year old.

I suspect lots of people would love it so am I just being grumpy?

Have you actually said to him that you don't like it?

Yes, it would annoy me.

I'm not undemonstrative and don't generally shy from physical contact. But to endure this on as constant a basis as you describe would be much too much.

I wouldn't go as far as to call it controlling behaviour, though.

you need a t-shirt like this

This is not about holding hands, this is about him hanging out of her, not the same thing at all IMO.

My OH can be very tactile, but even sometimes i get the get off, if I've gone in for a cuddle and he's not in the mood. And i respect it and leave him alone until he comes to me.
I love it though, i love the intimacy and closeness. But i know lot's of people who hate it.

If you don't like it that's all that matters.

Voted yabu if he's always been this way

I am very touchy feely with my husband but this would drive me nuts. Hand holding, lovely. Arm around me unless I'm on the sofa after a nice day, I'd be gritting my teeth and moving away.

No idea how to suggest you broach this with him though, he bound to be offended.

Cough a few times and tell him he needs to socially distance himself.

I'm the same as you OP. I don't like being touched too often. With me, it's partly sensory sensitivity issues and partly having 4 young children. I just very much need my personal space. My dh understands the sensory thing and that I get touched out. He still would like more from me, but we manage fine these days. I definitely empathise though.

@Aquamarine1029

This is not normal, not healthy, and it would drive me absolutely insane. Have you told him, very clearly, that this must stop? It's very controlling, possessive behaviour on his part. Ick.

Oh ffs stop it. Everything is not 'controlling'. He is obviously super tactile and maybe needy. This is not necessarily about control. Grow up and stop using catchphrases. It's also normal and healthy if both people want to be that way. Just because you (or the OP or I for that matter) don't like it doesn't mean people who do are somehow abnormal. 🙄

How are you married with kids and this is only a problem now!? Was he like this when you were dating or is it new - or is it just that your feelings about it have changed?

Mine clingy in bed it’s doing my head in I sleep best on my right but he still likes to retry and cuddles always waking me up, or me on back him grabbing arm.