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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair Child Maintenance?

63 replies

Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 13:10

My ex-husband has had a windfall of £70.000, so has now decided to retire, he is 56. I have 1 child aged 11, the Child Maintenance Service has reduced his payments to £60 per month (£15 per week) as he only has a small taxable income pension. He has remarried and is in good financial position, he does not contribute any extra towards school uniform etc. Am I unreasonable to think this is unfair and that given a lot of people have children at a older age that the amount of money in savings they have should be considered? & retiring so young is just a loop hole or that it is just my responsibility to care for my child?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 13:16

It's shit and he should have to pay more but he's not going to have much of an enjoyable retirement on £70k 🤷‍♀️

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 19/09/2021 13:18

70k isn’t much especially retirement at 56, however YANBU no man is father who doesn’t support his child.

TorringtonDean · 19/09/2021 13:19

He’s playing the system. A ridiculous system. Your 11-year-old has not suddenly become cheaper to feed and clothe because their father has decided to retire. But there it is. I do wonder how men - ususally it is men - can just let down their children like this.

WoozySnoozy · 19/09/2021 13:19

Have you applied for a variation?

Stompythedinosaur · 19/09/2021 13:21

He is an absolute cunt, a decent parent would consider supporting their dc. The system is broken, of course this shouldn't be allowed.

forinborin · 19/09/2021 13:24

Have a similar situation here, a sizable inheritance (I think north of a million) from a distant relative and retirement in early 50s, nil child maintenance assessment, no voluntary contributions.

You cannot do anything about it, the court does not seem to be very interested either.

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 19/09/2021 13:29

That is totally rubbish and what a crap father. I can see me being in this situation aswell in the not too distant future. I'd be interested to know if anyone else has been able to do sonething about this situation

forinborin · 19/09/2021 13:33

@MyMushroomsInATimeSlip

That is totally rubbish and what a crap father. I can see me being in this situation aswell in the not too distant future. I'd be interested to know if anyone else has been able to do sonething about this situation
In a short, no. I tried asking for a variation of the regular maintenance (from £0.00) and for a lump sum order under the Children's Act. Both unsuccessful.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/09/2021 13:35

Morally its shit.

theseoldbone · 19/09/2021 13:48

My dad did this to my mum. How's he going to support himself for so many years on 70k?! What a twat

knittingaddict · 19/09/2021 14:19

How old is he? Pension age? Deciding to leave your job because of a windfall of £70.000 is a bit nuts unless he is relatively comfortable any way.

As for CM? There's lots about it that is unfair if you were with a particular sort of man. It's shocking that some men can get away with not paying anything.

girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 14:20

@knittingaddict

How old is he? Pension age? Deciding to leave your job because of a windfall of £70.000 is a bit nuts unless he is relatively comfortable any way.

As for CM? There's lots about it that is unfair if you were with a particular sort of man. It's shocking that some men can get away with not paying anything.

The first sentence of the OP states he's 56.
knittingaddict · 19/09/2021 14:23

Sorry just seen that he is 56. Only the very well off or people with great pensions can retire at 56. This could be a massive mistake on his part.

Doyoumind · 19/09/2021 14:26

That £70k isn't going to go very far is it? Yanbu to feel he should still be paying the same maintenance though.

DrManhattan · 19/09/2021 14:29

The system is useless. Deadbeats can just say they earn the minimum and get away with low payments. No one checks, no one cares.

VelvetChairGirl · 19/09/2021 14:29

could be worse I met a mum of 3 at a DWP place whos ex pays nothing because he is self employed and claims he doesnt take a salary and all the money goes back into the business.

he owns a house with his new wife and drives a merc, the system is a broken mess, I know another mum whos ex works cash in hand and claims he is unemployed, he pays £7 a week via the child maintenance service for 2 kids.

personally I have never bothered, I have 1 child, on full benefits I prefer to just have the peace and quiet of being left alone, if I via CM it would be like a red rag to a bull and it really isnt worth the hassle of dealing with him stalking etc again.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/09/2021 14:31

How is he in a good financial position?

He will have to go back to work in a couple of years as it's 12 years before his state pension kicks in ?

If his private pension was any good he'd pay be paying more than £60 a month ...

Original poster
Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 15:13

Hi, thank you for all your comments. He has not got a good pension, but he remarried last year and his partner is still working at the moment, partner has several flats they rent out and when partner retires has a good pension.

Clearly if ex can afford to retire, but the system is flawed. He may well be doing a bit of private work for cash as he is a carpenter but again cannot prove it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 15:20

They also have a villa in Spain

OP posts:
forinborin · 19/09/2021 15:23

The sad truth is that you are unlikely to be able to claim maintanence successfully from anything that is not regular PAYE income (assuming that the dad does not want to pay, and will take actions to avoid it).

Iwonder08 · 19/09/2021 15:28

He should obviously make an effort with his child, however you really need to stop counting his partner's money and properties. It really has nothing to do with you or your child.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 19/09/2021 15:31

56 and £70k

He’s not going to be living the life of Riley OP

Think about it?

Unless he ALSO has very substantial pensions, then this is a meagre amount to retire on

But yes - I DO think all income should be incorporated in to calculations - as it is with universal credit (other than CM)

mumwon · 19/09/2021 15:40

If he wanted Universal Credit he wouldn't get it because of his savings -let alone his holiday property (even if its overseas)!
No joined up thinking here!
Mind with our current PM...Hmm
grossly unfair -re UC they will even include private pensions

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/09/2021 15:50

It’s wrong but until something changes and we enforce tough penalties on parents who don’t fully support a child themselves (whether resident or non resident) then sadly things like this will happen. Too many opt out of their responsibilities it seems.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 19/09/2021 15:58

He hasn’t got a good pension?

Op. Investments are far from exciting atm. Divide £70,000 by 20 OP less than £4K a year!

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