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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair Child Maintenance?

63 replies

Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 13:10

My ex-husband has had a windfall of £70.000, so has now decided to retire, he is 56. I have 1 child aged 11, the Child Maintenance Service has reduced his payments to £60 per month (£15 per week) as he only has a small taxable income pension. He has remarried and is in good financial position, he does not contribute any extra towards school uniform etc. Am I unreasonable to think this is unfair and that given a lot of people have children at a older age that the amount of money in savings they have should be considered? & retiring so young is just a loop hole or that it is just my responsibility to care for my child?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 19/09/2021 16:03

This is vile. Sad

SpiderinaWingMirror · 19/09/2021 16:04

It may well come back to bite him.
Hopefully new wife has her affairs ordered to protect herself. Anyone jacking I'm work at 56 just because they have 70000 in hand is frankly bonkers unless they have a short lifespan predicted. He could live another 40 years and is now dependent on someone else to provide for him.

theoldtrout01876 · 19/09/2021 16:18

I live in the USA. My exh retired from a state job at 52, had 30 years service so got 80% of his very good wage. He applied to court to have his child support reduced as he was now retired. The judge told him to get another job, most people couldnt retire at 52 and there was no way the children were going to suffer due to his lifestyle choices. He had to take another job.
This country may be shit in a lot of ways but I cant fault the child support enforcement, at least not in this state.

DrManhattan · 19/09/2021 16:29

@theoldtrout01876
Love this. We should defo have this in the UK

tillytown · 19/09/2021 16:30

I like the sound of that judge oldtrout!

HugeAckmansWife · 19/09/2021 16:36

@Iwonder08

He should obviously make an effort with his child, however you really need to stop counting his partner's money and properties. It really has nothing to do with you or your child.
its interesting that you say that - there was a thread on here the other day when a poster was told that her live in partner should be on the hook for childcare costs for her (not his) child rather than the NRP dad. Why is it different? I mean I get the idea that the new partner's money has nothing to do with the OP or her child but there is something very wrong with a system that would allow an NRP to reduce his earnings (retirement or maybe being a SAHP to new kids) and also maintenance when they can only do so by living off the new partner. As for "it could be worse, I get £7 or £0" - please don't use that as an argument for saying any situation where an RP gets anything north of single figures is reasonable. The system is broken is many different ways and unless there is political will to fund it properly and look at each case individually, regularly and rigorously, it won't change.
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/09/2021 16:49

www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2012/2677/regulation/69A?timeline=false

Assets can be taken into account by CMS.

Original poster
Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 17:05

Iwonder08 - I am not really counting his partners assets I am not asking them for anything, I was just trying to explain the situation when people were asking me how he was able to retire with such a small amount of money. Its just about the fact he has £70,000 and I have nothing in the bank, just the money I earn each month. I am just sad really that he thinks so little of his daughter and just highlighting the fact that how easy it is to get out of paying.

OP posts:
Original poster
Munchkin08 · 19/09/2021 17:06

TestingTestingWonTooFree - thank you I will have a look at that x

OP posts:
SummerintheCity2021 · 19/09/2021 17:13

My ex has a lot more than that in the bank but because he doesn’t work, he doesn’t pay any child maintenance and the CMS are not interested.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 19/09/2021 17:53

CMS is calculated on income not savings

However, you can apply to the CMS for an "additional income variation" if the paying parent has unearned income from savings. But this is NOT the savings themselves, just the income from them.

And on £70k and interest rates are as they are… it’ll be peanuts.

DamnUserName21 · 19/09/2021 18:55

CMS should absolutely look at savings and assets rather than just wages, IMO.

DamnUserName21 · 19/09/2021 18:58

@SummerintheCity2021

My ex has a lot more than that in the bank but because he doesn’t work, he doesn’t pay any child maintenance and the CMS are not interested.
If very well off, you may be able to apply for maintenance through the courts under the Children Act 1989.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/children-law-child-maintenance/#Applications%20to%20the%20courts%20for%20child%20maintenance

DamnUserName21 · 19/09/2021 18:58

*if ex is very well off...

TorringtonDean · 19/09/2021 19:24

I never ceased to be amazed at the lengths to which men will go to make sure their children are not adequately provided for. Who do they think is responsible for their offspring? Don’t they care at all about them? Of course there may be legal action that can be taken to get a bit more money but that requires the funds to pay for lawyers up front!

eeyore228 · 19/09/2021 19:37

This just makes me cross. My DH never shied away from paying for his children’s upbringing. So much so he took all the debt he and his ex accrued and gave her their home. His money was so stretched that his employer refused to give CM the full amount when all his bills started bouncing and they took from his wage. They stated he wasn’t being left enough money to live off of. I put the money on my credit card to help him because they hounded him like he wasn’t paying, it left him broken. Then you read this, it’s beggars belief.

BritWifeInUSA · 19/09/2021 19:40

He’s an idiot if he thinks £70k is enough to retire on at 56. Unless he lives in a cave and hunts his own food. He could live another 40+ years.

VelvetChairGirl · 19/09/2021 19:51

@BritWifeInUSA

He’s an idiot if he thinks £70k is enough to retire on at 56. Unless he lives in a cave and hunts his own food. He could live another 40+ years.
Probably planning to mooch off the wife, if he cant be arsed paying for his kid it wouldn't surprise me selfish arses tend to be beggers. hopefully she doesnt put up with it.
KaycePollard · 19/09/2021 20:04

Totally crap. Commiserations, @Munchkin08.

However, your DC will eventually make their own judgement about the ethics of the father. He will reap what he sows. It’s cold comfort now, but he will suffer.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 19/09/2021 20:22

@eeyore228

This just makes me cross. My DH never shied away from paying for his children’s upbringing. So much so he took all the debt he and his ex accrued and gave her their home. His money was so stretched that his employer refused to give CM the full amount when all his bills started bouncing and they took from his wage. They stated he wasn’t being left enough money to live off of. I put the money on my credit card to help him because they hounded him like he wasn’t paying, it left him broken. Then you read this, it’s beggars belief.
He must h been on a high salary for the amount calculated to have been so such substantial
MrsKeats · 19/09/2021 20:37

Your ex's partner's earnings are nothing to do with you however.

Hardybloodyhar · 19/09/2021 22:12

His life plan is to mooch of his new wife.

What's he going to do when she gets the shits with that?

Nomoreusernames1244 · 19/09/2021 22:16

If he’s retired then he’s available to take on the bulk of childcare now so you can work full time…

Tell him he’s now doing school runs, shopping, football club, anything else you can’t manage while you’re at work.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 20/09/2021 06:21

@Nomoreusernames1244

If he’s retired then he’s available to take on the bulk of childcare now so you can work full time…

Tell him he’s now doing school runs, shopping, football club, anything else you can’t manage while you’re at work.

You are now separated / divorced from the father of your children. Are you?

Your post will make those of us in this situation chuckle.

“Telling” your ex to do something Grin.

Saladovercrispsanyday · 20/09/2021 06:21

You are NOT separates or divorced

I meant to say