Yikes 😳 that got busy quick. My internet net was up & down, so I couldn't come back any sooner, but still didn't expect so many replies.
Excuse my not replying to individuals, it's been a stressful day I'm mostly looking at you Virgin media for messing up our email & TV when supposedly fixing cables to improve tge service
migraine creeping on as a result.
To answer a few points...
No it's not the actual ginger but her bad attitude & not asking when she would normally ask if it's okay to use the kitchen to cook & if she spots any extra ingredients she'd like to use. We've never asked that if her, though would have if needed. We didn't need to. She has form for using way too much of ingredients she doesn't know well & ruining her meals when she's experimenting, as she clearly was today. We've had to talk to about that before so she knows asking about extra ingredients.
I didn't realise until later what she was actually cooking. Pasta in tomato sauce with red onions & garlic... I I hadn't stepped in over the fresh ginger, she would have grated, probably a lot of it, it into her pasta sauce 🤢
Yes she does help herself to any basics, the only rules are that she doesn't use the last of anything without asking first & that she writes it on our shopping list whiteboard, so we can replace it. So I'm hardly a good Nazi 😂
No steak in the house, non of us eat meat😂 & a large chunk of fresh ginger is probably our equivalent as vegetarians😂. Like many of you we have the dried, frozen & tinned basics in & she can help herself to anything.
Probably slightly more annoying as I'd bought the ginger to make a pickle mix so that we can make the Itsu dragon rolls that she loves, though I certainly didn't think that until she kicked off & would have given her a little, though I think it was a blessing that she refused🥴
Are there issues with food ... yes, but due to health issues, it's not as straightforward as my being controlling. I've had to back right off this last year or so as Ive realised that she's kicking back at anything she thinks I want her to do, so I pretend not to care. Not unless she comes to me for help with the symptoms that eating badly for her medical conditions causes & hope she's sense from that happening. If that makes sense. Though it's not working well so far, there's little else we can do🥴 Unfortunately, despite my backing off, she still responds to me often as if I'm still "on her back" trying to coax her not to make herself ill. Not sure what I can do about that but 
To those of you saying get to what's going on behind it...thank you for the reminder 🙏 it's hard sometimes when they are in your face telling you you're "mental" to remember it's a sign of something more going on.
DH has been on the case & she's owned up to him that she's missed her B12 treatment with our GP. She lied to me a week ago that she had it in hand. Looking back she was evasive, but definitely gave me the impression that she'd had it done 😏
When her B12 is low, amongst a lot of other things, it badly affects her mood 🤦♀️ it also makes her exhausted & heightens her pain, causes walking trouble etc that makes her feel frustrated & angry that she's missing out 😞 DH has now got her to make an appointment & take some of the other supplements she needs🙏. She rarely kicks off at him the way she does at me, so we've learnt to let him talk to her
On top of that she's very upset that a lot of her friends are going off to Uni. She saw off one of her best friends to Cardiff last night & it's her birthday very soon & DH thinks from something she said that it's just dawned on her she's won't have many friends to celebrate with & she's had a lot of friendship issues when younger, so she really values her close it small friendship groups now.
She's still in a mood with me & is refusing to apologise though. So I've told her that her BF can't stay her tonight as she had planned, not until she does apologise for the way she spoke to me. As as much as I can see that she is struggling, I have to draw the line somewhere. She's a stubborn mare, so is now going to her BFs parents house instead... really cutting her nose off to spite her face as we are in town where they were intending to go out & his parents are out in the sticks 🤦♀️ it'll give her space to cool off & he's lovely, so he might even talk some sense into her🤞 & I'll get some peace from her goadiness, which has been getting worse over the last couple of weeks
Thanks everyone. I hope I've covered everything 🤞