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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to read the graphic details of James Bulger's abduction in a chain email?

122 replies

Bectheneck · 05/12/2007 11:10

And not only have it sent to me by my, usually sensible, sister but to have to listen to it being read out on air by some numpty local DJ this morning just because he'd received it via Facebook and today's 'Time Tunnel' year (music played from a particular year) was 1993 (the year the abduction happened). He gave no warning of the details it contained and how horrific they are.

Has anyone else received it? I don't have a copy any more as I deleted it straight away but it basically recaps on the James Bulger case but goes into graphic detail of what his abductors did to him. It then goes on to say that they are due to be released, given new identities and a new life in Australia and we should add our names and forward it on to people. At some point it said it will be sent as a petition to, I can't remember exactly, but presumably to keep them in prison for ever.

It's a chain email and I found it so distasteful to post such horrific details about the poor little lads last hours. There surely must be more appropriate ways to get the point across? Am I being unreasonable? Most people already know that he was taken, tortured and left on a railway line. Isn't that horrific enough? It just seemed so pointless and it's something I can't get out of my head now I've read it.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 10/12/2007 15:40

Have recieved this 4 times now from different people. Was suprised at those who passed it on, not the people I would have expected to do it actually.

cherryredretrochick · 10/12/2007 17:08

i have just this second recieved this on facebook, am really annoyed at person who sent it to me. Thanks for the tip off though as I just deleted it and I may otherwise have read it. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FING SICK

maximummummy · 11/12/2007 00:07

last night i couldn't sleep because of this it just kept going through my head - i honestly thought i'd be sick & i've not felt right all day - i'm not a wet sort of person usually i'm tough as old boots but i've been in tears over this today and i feel like i've had a black cloud over me all day

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 11:57

Hi Zazette,

Firstly I made it quiet clear in my apology that none of it was an excuse.
i am not excusing my behaviour in any way at all. I did what I did as I have explained before and all of the people it invloved have accepted that.
I am thankful that I have good friends who are gracious and don't want to keep bringing it up and nit picking at a mistake I made and make me feel any worse than I already do.

At least I had the integrity to come here on MN and hold my hands up. I notice that the only other person who did admit to the mistake,made a comment about it on the facebook group after reading this thread.

That is why I hoped everyone would accept my apology as it was genuine and I felt no reason not to admit to it.

I'm sorry that you do not feel the same way,but I am not giving this chain mail anymore reason to give offence which is why I am not going into my reasons or thoughts on the subject.
I care about those I sent it to and they are fine,so I hope like them you can just realise that people do make geniune mistakes and are kind enough to forgive.

thank you.

onlyjoking9329 · 11/12/2007 12:10

Tigger, you have apologise plenty of times, i have accepted your apology as have others,
we all make mistakes love, i still think you are fab
OJ

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:12

Thank you O.J.x.

moljam · 11/12/2007 12:15

i keep getting it too on facebook,getting to point where i want to email them to say stop!

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:21

It was started by a Mnetter if I have got my facts right. I have just been over to FB to re-read the post again so that i can be sure,but it has gone. I thought it would be nice if she could give an apology also and we could all move on.

Zazette · 11/12/2007 12:22

I'm sure your apology is genuine, I'm not doubting that. But I am equally genuine in being mystified about why you did what you did in the first place. I honestly wanted to understand it, that's all. You're not obliged to explain yourself to someone you don't know, of course.

SquonkaClaus · 11/12/2007 12:22

I agree with OJ. Tripley explained very clearly why she felt that the right thing to do was to forward this. She has also explained why she thought it was genuine. She has also not only apologised on here, but has sent an email apology to everyone that she forwarded the thing to in the first place.

And she had the guts, integrity and honesty to come on here and tell us all what went on in her mind.

Well done, tripley.

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:25

Zazette.thank you.

I am just so mortified by the mistake that I made,every time it gets brought up I feel ten times worse about having to go through it all again. I feel that all I can say is a very genuine sorry and nothing else I can say would make it any better. My reasons don't mean anything because they were all very misguided.

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:26

Thank you Squonka.x.

WatsIsForLifeNotJustForXmas · 11/12/2007 12:29

Tripley, you have explained already that you made a mistake and I think its time to move on from all this. We know how good your intentions were and that you have been having a hard time about this mistake ever since.

I regularly get 'chain mail' on my fb account and to be honest i simply chose to delete it rather then read it and pass it on. We all have done things that we felt were right at the time and then realised that unintentionally hurt was caused and i for one echo the other posters and say to you , everything is ok!!

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:31

Thank you.x.

yogimum · 11/12/2007 12:32

I hate chain e-mails. Received one this morning from an american friend saying in england that we have got rid of teaching the holocaust so we don't upset the muslims. Also saying to forward to as many people as possible.

QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 11/12/2007 12:44

I think one of the problems on facebook is that everytime you install something, it just about automatically sends it to everybody on your friends list.

I have given up. I never install anything anymore. I dont have superwall, I dont have winterwonderland, or anything really, aside from a lonely christmas tree with hardly any presents under.

I have so many notifications, Hotness, Blind date, Shag-fest, what not. I leave them there, on the right, where they can do no harm.

I have noticed if I try to install something, I eventually end up nearly signing up for Love Crush, wich is an application I am terrified of to put it mildly (me a married woman and all).

The point is, so many people install applications, things are therefore forewarded right left and centre. I have had things on my funwall which I find ill-judged to send me, especially as a mum who is likely to have a child either on my lap, or nearby, one of whom can read (!). Somebody sent me a naked arty woman, and I had bare breasts pointing at my face! I also have a horrible picture of balls squashed by stilettos. There is a lot of bad taste on Facebook.

Yet, I think it is time to leave Tripley alone. (Even though I agree with Wannabee and Turqouises friend) Tripley is not one who usually sends rude or horrible things. She posts nice little drawings and cheery messages on my funwall, she is lovely! She may have been in the wrong about passing this on, but I can see where she is coming from, she has a heart of gold, and would not deliberately cause anybody any upset. Please accept her apology and move on!

I think in any event it is worth having a look at ones FB privacy settings, and be a little critical as to what applications are added. FB is a window to the world, but if you can look out, people can look in, and dump all sorts on you. Good and bad, I personally like hatching eggs. And christmas presents.

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:47

Thanks QS.x.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2007 12:49

One person starts a chainmail thingy, I
recieved hundreds on myspace, telling me to leave my name and email address on the bottom and 'pass it on', I had ones about jamie bulger, I ahd ones about dead soldiers in Iraq, about paedophiles, about pitbulls being put down etc etc.

At the beginning I forwarded them, and signed them, thinking maybe I was siging a petition that was in some way going to help someone.

It was only after I got one with a load of bullshitabout some guy who was apparently a murderer and no-one should accept his friend request, thatI googled him, purely wondering what the story was, and found the only things on google about him and the person whohad posted it originally (supposedly a police officer in the states) was that she wasn't a polie officer, he wasn't a murderer and she had started the same email about ten different people in some bitter twisted revenge trip to stop them being added by anyone on myspace.

I've deleted my funwall/superwall thingies cos they are full of crap anyway.

BUT for if someone has forwarded the email thinking it may help someone somewhere then for goodness sake give them a break, I'm sure after this they will have learned and notbotehr forwarding anymore. It's the sick fucks that write these things that are the problme not people who naively believe they may be helping!

LadyOfWassail · 11/12/2007 12:49

Only read the OP but I have had about 10 on facebook and one wouldn't delete. I got it deleted in the end, but some people just do not think. I had nightmares the night I got a whole pageful of them, people who send on those things are sick.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 11/12/2007 12:55

LadyofWassail, people who write these things are sick, people who forward them are naive.

TripleyXmasTippleTigger · 11/12/2007 12:56

Thank you Tiny.x.

bossybritches · 11/12/2007 12:59

Ok enough apologies- I think we're agreed we've all had enough of this can we let the thread drop?

If you get things like this on FB as QS suggests adjust your privacy settings or even better delete the whole thing!

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