things you realised in lockdown that you're surprised you never noticed before??

[NoviceNewMN]

Working from home made me realise how low level subtly grindingly misogynistic alot of the men I work with are and how I am undermined every day without ever noticing when I was there - because it comes under the guise of cheerful chat that is blink and you miss it stuff. When you are out of it, life becomes lighter and happier.

I also never noticed exactly how much ££££ I spend on travel.

How much my job validates me - I am an Paediatric ICU nurse & our unit was shut & converted to an adult ICU for both waves. I had been seriously ill then had to shield - not being able to work at that time was just awful. Still feel huge amounts of guilt now.
That said, my colleagues have been nothing short of brilliantly supportive despite the absolute hell they faced.

On the other side, as a family we all got on fabulously, older teens so all on line schooling &DH working from home - gave him much valued time with everyone.

That Amazon Prime is really good value!

That the housework is down to me and me alone. Everyone else talks about it being a joint responsibility but when push comes to shove no one else actually does any of it. When I stopped doing everything in protest for six weeks; dirty plates, dirty laundry, papers, clothes, mess, rubbish built up in every room and would have continued to do so. They do care about the state of the place, usually when they want to bring friends back, but they don't care enough to take any action.

How much of his day DP spends on the phone in meetings. Like all day

I agree with the person who said about how loudly the neighbours talk. I'd expect to be able to hear next-door when they are in the garden but not people a few doors down. Why do they have to shout?

I'm used to the loud parties to make sure everyone can hear what a wonderful time they're having, but why shout for a normal conversation?

[quote feelingpantstoday]@Sylvvie

You are appreciated, we are stretched to breaking point and many have no more to give .

Your pay rise is shameful.

Chin up lovely x[/quote]
Thank you. I know there are people out there who value what we do, but after getting battered from all sides, feeling helpless while everyone died around us, management shitting on us constantly and then getting that abysmal pay rise and being told I should be grateful for the free pizza that got given to our night shift staff, once, I just decided I had enough.

I work in IT, from home now, getting paid the equivalent of 4 bands higher than I was - which in itself is awful because no lives are at stake where I work now and I get paid so much more.

How wonderful and precious the environment really is. When everything is taken, its all we have left to thrive in.

How important community is and how wonderful it can be.

It reaffirmed what I thought about people though.

How much the home we were living in was a source of so much frustration and issues -- we thankfully were able to move which made so much difference, but like others, it didn't make me the fitness person or domestic goddess I had hoped it would!

That I'm not as introverted as I thought I was - I just use the internet as a social connection bandaid and it's not really working, but I keep coming back.

My DS1 and I are very alike -- I used to think he was an apple off his father's tree, but I've found so much we have in common over the lockdowns. I have noticed I had way more great conversations with my teenagers in general when we're not all trying to balance all the different parts.

That British education, particularly in the humanities, can be oddly US focused. I'd noticed before the weird thing that the US civil rights movements often get more focus compared to the UK counterparts if they're even mentioned, but having my DDs do their online school lessons in the room with me, I was weirded out how often things like the Enlightenment or even discussing current events brought up US stuff so much more than anywhere else - like the Enlightenment was basically the US with a sprinkling of French Revolution. It was really weird sitting next to my DD as she had a lesson on the American War of Independence -- it felt more pro-USA/anti-British that what I had growing up in the States. I was and still am baffled by this - yes, acknowledge tyranny and atrocities of ourselves, but we can do that and have nuanced conversations that Brits weren't always the worst.

There were so many aspects of how we lived as a society before the pandemic that were bad for our mental health, our family lives, our environments. We could have tried to keep some of the silver linings of lockdown. But it's all getting stampeded over in the name of "back to normal"

That’s pretty good evidence that lots of people preferred the previous ways and didn’t find lockdown as silver-lined as you.

Which leads us to the only real truth about what lockdown has taught us - that the previous “one size fits all” mentality of society, particularly in the office based presentee-ism culture, just didn’t work for a whole lot of people and the answer is flexibility for those who need it.

That British education, particularly in the humanities, can be oddly US focused.

Looking through the curriculum for History on the Government website, it looks pretty much British based to me. Some examples of world history, but broadly British based.

If they were discussing US history as it related to the widely publicised issues in the US at the time, that makes sense to me. I’m not sure you can write off a whole curriculum with such a snapshot.

@gannett

Sadly the thing I've learned most from the past year is that a lot of people are so invested in the status quo and going "back to normal" that we've missed a massive chance to change the old normal for the better. There were so many aspects of how we lived as a society before the pandemic that were bad for our mental health, our family lives, our environments. We could have tried to keep some of the silver linings of lockdown. But it's all getting stampeded over in the name of "back to normal". As a species, humans really don't learn.

Absolutely this. The positives of lockdown included much clearer air as less traffic- also less noise and no road rage incidents (I live in a narrow road on the edge of London). As another poster points out, better understanding of and services for people who were already housebound. More realistic benefit rates and reduced stress and poverty stemming directly from the 'normal' interference and target focused intervention of the DWP. But apparently piling into nail salons and onto planes is more important than anything else ever.

That a lot of people kept on working as near to normal as possible.
Security people.maintenance, shop assistants etc. Not just the people who were clapped every week.

Not that I am not extremely grateful for hardworking NHS staff, but there were others working too.

How pleased I was to have marriage therapy/counselling before I was locked down together with him. We got through pretty well and are still happily married.

@gannett I 100% agree

That I love doing the school pick up.

I moaned about it before, it felt so tedious. Even though I only did it twice a week.
During the last 18m I have been able to be there most days while WFH and feel so much more involved in my DC's school community, more in touch with DC. And I even love having those 15 mins walking home just me and them.

Now I am back in the office (week number 4 of this) and I realised I hate not being there to collect from the classroom and hear about their day, say hello to the teacher and other parents / kids. I am missing something important, for no reason as my job is v doable WFH. But they have brought some of us back in full time.

@5128gap what you say here really resonated with me:

That I like people a lot more than I thought and that my irritation with them was down to being too tired and run down to be bothered.
That people can still really surprise you with their views and behaviour no matter how long you've known them.

I really really appreciate my friends now, much more than previously. During the last 18 months for each of them there's been a moment where I've thought 'fucking hell you really are awesome'. I always loved them I didn't ever take the time to step back and think exactly why I loved each one but now I have and it's brought such a rich perspective to life.

And for the ones who don't chime any more, meh, well, lockdown can be handy in some ways ..

@Titsywoo

How little socialising bothers me and how few of my friends I now can actually be bothered with (not in a horrible way I just realised how if I don't arrange things or contact certain people nothing ever happens!). That may be my age as well as lockdown though

This

@profpoopsnagle

There are 3 sorts of Pom Bears. One that has both hands up, one with both hands down and the third is one hand up, one hand down.

Hahaha this is brilliant

@gannett

Sadly the thing I've learned most from the past year is that a lot of people are so invested in the status quo and going "back to normal" that we've missed a massive chance to change the old normal for the better. There were so many aspects of how we lived as a society before the pandemic that were bad for our mental health, our family lives, our environments. We could have tried to keep some of the silver linings of lockdown. But it's all getting stampeded over in the name of "back to normal". As a species, humans really don't learn.

Yes I think the pandemic, for some, allowed them to adopt a healthier way of living both physically and mentally. I wonder if the rest of the UK will follow Scotland’s lead and trial a 4 day week?

But it's all getting stampeded over in the name of "back to normal”

Surely the people who want to go back to normal are the people who liked their old normal though?
Lockdown had no silver linings for me. It nearly destroyed me. I appreciate my ‘normal’ so much more now and yes, I was in a rush to get back to it.

How often I leave the house- particularly for lunch and coffee
How much I missed my husband when he went to work
How obnoxious and self-centred people can be

@Justmuddlingalong

We go through a lot less loo roll when we don't wrap it round and round our hands before wiping.

Dad? Is that you? 🤣

@Di11y

How antisocial I am and how little I actually care about the majority of my colleagues

This for me too

How boring life is without the 'extras'. Nights out with friends, cinema as a family, kids hobbies. Sure, getting out in nature is nice but my god it gets boring when it's the only thing on offer!

How much I love where I live - the community spirit has been fantastic

That some friendships can thrive online and others diminish without face to face contact.

That I am a tree hugger.

That extra-marital affairs can happen without anyone leaving the house.