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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Applying for a new job while pregnant

298 replies

Traveller3367 · 16/09/2021 20:11

7 months pregnant
Saw a job that I thought I would be good at
Applied without mentioning I was pregnant
Been offered the role and have informed employer I am pregnant and due to go on mat leave soon
They will see if they can get cover but I have offered to decline the position if they cannot.
My question is was I being unreasonable in applying in the first place?
(Ps I wasn't hiding my pregnancy. I didn't know when was best to mention it. Didn't want employer to think I was using it against them if they declined me. Also I valued the chance to network and get some interview practice. Was not expecting to get the role as a big jump for me career wise)

OP posts:
Original poster
Traveller3367 · 16/09/2021 21:32

@Ashitaka
@Chinam

In my field it's normal to work part time for a number of organisations at the same time. Makes the week varied

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/09/2021 21:35

@MyPatronusIsACat

Come off it. No employer I have ever known would take a woman on whilst 6-7 months pregnant or more. They just wouldn't. It's never happened.

It's happened to two of my friends, both upper management level - one in banking and another in compliance. Both around six months pregnant at interview stage, both offered the jobs, both granted generous maternity packages (one of them only spent a month in the office before going on matt leave), both returned to the roles after mat leave and are still with the (global) companies five or six years on. So you're wrong, it absolutely does happen!

Mazblue86 · 16/09/2021 21:36

I'm astonished that there are people who think the OP was unreasonable! YANBU. Don't doubt it for a second.

TractorAndHeadphones · 16/09/2021 21:39

I don't see what the issue is?
You can apply for any role you like . As long as you disclose it to the employer after being hired what's the problem?
An employer that can afford to care shouldn't. If they do decline (various circs where a temp would be difficult/impossible given the short notice) then that's on them but again nothing stopping you from applying.

So what's there to feel guilty about? Really don't understand!

prediction500 · 16/09/2021 21:41

YANBU. You were the best person for the job and so you were offered it. If you would like the role please don't turn it down as you are pregnant.

wombforanotherone · 16/09/2021 21:42

Fgs don't decline it! They've offered the best person the job and you are entitled to take it. End of.

Chinam · 16/09/2021 21:48

[quote Traveller3367]@Ashitaka
@Chinam

In my field it's normal to work part time for a number of organisations at the same time. Makes the week varied[/quote]
Thanks for the clarification. Now I really want to know what you do.

addictedtotheflats · 16/09/2021 21:51

Definitely not unreasonable, I work in the NHS and would recruit someone if pregnant if they were the right person for the job. They just need to put a fixed term out before you go off.

QueenBee52 · 16/09/2021 21:52

There was a similar Thread on here OP.. I think it was in Legal.. a Poster interviewed for a role.. the role was offered.. the Poster accepted .. then advised she was.. I think was approx 5 months pregnant ...

The Company immediately withdrew the job offer..

OP she took them to Court... and Won .. the company went bankrupt and set up in another name the next day.. but she is pursuing this for her court awarded costs..

But she WON.. 🌸

QueenBee52 · 16/09/2021 21:55

Job offer withdrawn - continued... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/3928655-Job-offer-withdrawn-continued

this is it 🌸

chaosrabbitland · 16/09/2021 21:55

at 7 months im sure they noticed you were pregnant regardless of if you actually told them and they have still offered you the job , if you really want the job i would just take it and not worry

fibeee · 16/09/2021 21:59

YANBU. Though I wouldn’t have offered to decline the position.

Some very backward attitudes on this thread. I applied for a new job in my first trimester. I disclosed this at the interview even though I knew I had no obligation to do so. Next day I was offered the job. Thankfully the company saw the potential in me and I’ve been back to work for nearly a year after my maternity leave.

Beachbabe1 · 16/09/2021 22:02

I wouldn't have the balls to apply for a job at 7 months pregnant! Too cringe having to tell them..sorry I can't actually start as I'm going on maternity leave soon! 😳

SaffieSoph · 16/09/2021 22:02

You should absolutely take the job, well done and congratulations! You went through the recruitment process and were offered the position based on your experience. The company can wait for you.

Read 'Lean in' by Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook) it really made me think about my career choices and the fact that having children and being pregnant shouldn't stop your career.

Yes it will be inconvenient for the employer but only in the short term.

Good luck!

TolkiensFallow · 16/09/2021 22:04

Oh my god!!! The responses on here! Of course you are not being unreasonable and no don’t offer to resign!!!

Imagine if this was an employer saying “I’ve just hired someone and she’s pregnant, Aibu in asking her to resign?” Everyone would be screaming at them “no of course you can’t discriminate against a pregnant woman” “equalities act” “employment tribunal”…

MushMonster · 16/09/2021 22:07

Congratulations OP on being offered the role! Whether you accept or not, you now know that you can get a role like this!
It is always a difficult one indeed. I think if it was me and I wanted the role, I would apply and show my interest in the role. Being that far along, I do not think I would be up for a promotion, especially a big one, so I would decline this time making sure I let them know I will re-apply as soon as another role appears. I do not think I would cope with a new born and new responsibilities at once LOL. But that is me. Some wonder women can do it, and they do it very well. I trully admire them for that. It all depends on how you are, if you can cope with a little one and the new role.
If it was earlier in the pregnancy, I would feel different, but then, for example, I did not have morning sickness at all. You may actually be feeling stronger now that then.
Have a good think about what you want. Enjoy the high of knowing you can get the job.
And best luck!

czycoup · 16/09/2021 22:15

Wow - I wouldn't have the energy to be applying and going to interviews at 7 months pregnant. Good for you.

prsphne · 16/09/2021 22:18

The attitudes here are disgusting. Me and DH are going to split parental leave equally (5 months each).

Please tell me how him applying for a job 2 months before I’m due is different to me doing so?! Other than he can hide it?!

THIS is why women struggle in the workplace, because people think they can logically defend their blatant discrimination.

Obimumkinobi · 16/09/2021 22:19

A lot of posters are saying how they worked for large organisions and covering their maternity was no problem, as they could easily get cover. I work for a small charity where the time and money to recruit, plus possibly then having to readvertise and re-interview, would have a serious impact on the charity. If we couldn't do this in time, we could lose the project funding, which would directly affect our clients. We can't tempt lots of people with impressive salaries, so generally have a smaller range of candidates in the first place.
It goes without saying that women should have equal rights but it's naive to think that it wouldn't have serious consequences on certain organisations who don't have the luxury of HR departments and pools of other candidates to choose from. It's for this reason that unless I was jobless, I wouldn't look to change roles so late in pregnancy.
Out of interest OP, were you already in a job when you applied for this new role?

MagnoliaXYZ · 16/09/2021 22:28

I agree with a PP that this sort of thing affects women's rights. Yes, a man with a pregnant partner could apply for paternity leave but that is far less common and, I think I remember reading on here somewhere, it can get rejected by employers. Surely companies will be less inclined to hire women of reproductive age, especially if they are not interviewing face-to-face. Yes, I'm sure there are some companies who can afford both the time and money to appoint someone who almost immediately goes off on maternity leave, but I'm guessing lots of companies can't. I also think those women lower down the hierarchy will be the ones to suffer - companies may be willing to take this sort of risk for someone who has proved their value in the workplace, someone who has networked, who has got a name for turning companies around/winning big contracts etc, but lower paid workers in the same organisations won't, I think, be granted the same. I don't necessarily think it's the issue of being pregnant, but being so close to going off on maternity leave.

I'm also surprised you've applied for a new role only two weeks in to your current employment. I know you said it's normal to have a few part time roles but this doesn't sound like a part time role. That would be something which would concern me as a future employer.

I'm also a little confused about your pregnancy timeline, OP. You said you're seven months pregnant but plan on staying working for them next month and working for two months before starting your maternity leave.

Queenoftheashes · 16/09/2021 22:37

It’s literally unbelievable the attitudes people have.
Women have no choice about being female or of childbearing age. We are allowed to work. Fuck off all of you with your repulsive sexist nonsense.

Holskey · 16/09/2021 22:53

Staggered by the misogyny. The amount of women who would hold other women back because of their biological role in birthing children is just depressing.

Yanbu at all. We all know many employers wouldn't hire you if they had known, but we should also all know that that isn't fair. We've so far to go for equality. Hold your head high for taking a step in the right direction, especially in spite of the guilt you've been conditioned to feel.

RobertaFirmino · 16/09/2021 22:57

YANBU but I think you might raise a few eyebrows amongst your colleagues. Hopefully, you won't but be prepared.

Holskey · 16/09/2021 23:01

@Mantlemoose

Why would you waste anyones time by doing this? Don't offer to decline if they can't get anyone else. Just do the right thing and decline. I'm pretty sure I'll be in the minority but IMO its silliness like this that makes a mockery of woman's rights.
Makes a mockery of women's rights? This shit is what is meant by women's rights! The right not to be written off because of our biology is pretty fucking basic.
TractorAndHeadphones · 16/09/2021 23:02

@Obimumkinobi

A lot of posters are saying how they worked for large organisions and covering their maternity was no problem, as they could easily get cover. I work for a small charity where the time and money to recruit, plus possibly then having to readvertise and re-interview, would have a serious impact on the charity. If we couldn't do this in time, we could lose the project funding, which would directly affect our clients. We can't tempt lots of people with impressive salaries, so generally have a smaller range of candidates in the first place. It goes without saying that women should have equal rights but it's naive to think that it wouldn't have serious consequences on certain organisations who don't have the luxury of HR departments and pools of other candidates to choose from. It's for this reason that unless I was jobless, I wouldn't look to change roles so late in pregnancy. Out of interest OP, were you already in a job when you applied for this new role?
OP has already mentioned that she's in a large one so that's why I voted YANBU. I however agree with you. There is no magical 'temp cover' factory. Furthermore for many roles it takes a few months to get up to speed so having someone take unplanned leave results in several months of work being lost as the cover has to be trained, and then leave just as they are beginning to be productive.

It's somewhat contradictory to claim that your job needs such skill that you're clearly the 'best person' for it BUT can also be handed over to a temp for 9 months. It takes a lot of money and effort to cover without a degradation in work quality. Not every business has that.

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