Applying for a new job while pregnant

[Traveller3367]

7 months pregnant
Saw a job that I thought I would be good at
Applied without mentioning I was pregnant
Been offered the role and have informed employer I am pregnant and due to go on mat leave soon
They will see if they can get cover but I have offered to decline the position if they cannot.
My question is was I being unreasonable in applying in the first place?
(Ps I wasn't hiding my pregnancy. I didn't know when was best to mention it. Didn't want employer to think I was using it against them if they declined me. Also I valued the chance to network and get some interview practice. Was not expecting to get the role as a big jump for me career wise)

@AudacityBaby

I agree - let’s not discriminate against any women. That means the onus is on employers to cover every single maternity leave, have policies which allow flex working for anyone, ensure that all leave is allocated fairly, and that childless women aren’t covering antisocial shifts or working additional hours to cover other women.

I kinda feel like this wouldn’t go down well with parents, though, which proves my point - you’re happy to sacrifice other women as long as it’s in pursuit of your chosen feminist issue. If that’s how it is, fine, but be honest about it (and maybe stop calling what you’re doing feminism!)

As I say, OP, YANBU. Despite everything I say above I do think it’s important that young women aren’t kept out of the workplace. I just wish employers got the balance right.

I’m a parent and I think what you’ve suggested about onus on employers, flexible leaving, fair annual leave etc for everyone is right.

I do agree there are some parents with poor attitudes out there, just as there are poor attitudes towards pregnant women. None of it is right or fair.

Some parents literally can’t take anti social jobs though, even if they wanted to, as 24 hour childcare doesn’t exist so I think naturally there will be fewer parents in those types of roles. However an employer should not be insisting that a non-parent takes the night shift so the parent can take the day shift.

@Traveller3367 I suggested something similar in a meeting once and was promptly told by two colleagues that if any money was to be found for that then it should go towards paying full pay for the entire maternity leave instead. Sorta proves my point.

@AudacityBaby

I also think more paternal leave would help balance the equation

@Traveller3367

I also think more paternal leave would help balance the equation

Why do you think that?

@Blossomtoes
I think it would encourage more men to take a longer period of leave therefore sharing the financial and career impacts of having children. I think they should also be offered a similar part paid paternity leave period

Surely the effect of that would be to make employers wary of employing men of a certain age too? There’s no rationale for it anyway unless men are going to give birth and breast feed. If more money’s spent in this area, it would make more sense for it to be used to fund maternity cover so other workers aren’t exploited.

*I'm NHS as well, though clinical. Plus civil,service. There is no money so it's the same people that demands are being made of all the time. It doesn't seem to matter that we get burnt out - as long as others get to see their children in nativity plays and their year long mat leaves every other year, not to mention the endless Christmas leave demands and sulks when a childfree person dares to want to see their family.

If that makes me sound bitter, then maybe it's because after 30 years of this treatment in the workplace, I am.

I was brought up to believe that feminism supported all women. However I've come to realise that these days it means only supporting mothers. In which case feminism can fuck right off because I - and millions of women like me - have had enough.*

I do understand why you feel the way you do about the workplace particularly with lack of maternity cover. I just don’t think the answer is to blame and penalise pregnant women for it. What are women meant to do, never have children? Leave their jobs if they want children so they can be replaced?

I do understand there are a shit load of issues with funding in the public sector and to the decision makers it’s just too easy for them to not recruit maternity cover to save money, but then that just feeds the hatred towards women taking time off for a baby when the issue is with the organisations / funding etc.

There are literally tons of feminist issues/campaigns that support all women though, not just parents. This thread is specifically about pregnant women though so the other stuff isn’t going to get mentioned. If there is another feminist topic that you feel needs more attention then I’m sure you would get lots of support or advice on it if you were to start a thread. I genuinely mean that.

Pregnant people 🙄

I do understand why you feel the way you do about the workplace particularly with lack of maternity cover. I just don’t think the answer is to blame and penalise pregnant women for it. What are women meant to do, never have children? Leave their jobs if they want children so they can be replaced?

As someone who was part of the battle for the maternity rights that were too late to benefit me, I don’t hate or want to penalise pregnant women.

I do have an issue with someone taking a new job while pregnant, it feels tone deaf to me. Under those circumstances I’d be really pissed off as a colleague who will either have to pick up the slack or facilitate two lots of induction. It doesn’t make much business sense to me either.

If I’m honest, there’s a lot about this that doesn’t add up. Eligibility for maternity pay, for a start:

You must have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks continuing into the ‘qualifying week’ - the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth

Why did you post this on AIBU then totally kicking off when some posters are saying you are?!!

Typical OP - AIBU
MN - yes
OP - stamps foot. No I’m not wah wah !!

@SecretSpAD

What if the pregnant woman applying for the role lost her job because her past employer discriminated against her (and this happens all the time!) just tough shit? Pregnant woman are discriminated in the workplace in a number of ways because people can’t stand them taking maternity leave which they are entitled to, and your sister is as much as part of the problem as anyone else. She’s so far from wonderful it’s disgusting.

🤷🏻‍♀️ you do you.

We can only hope that secretspads sister evolves her disgusting attitude but it doesn’t sound like she will. Hoping she never gets pregnant and experiences the revolting discrimination she is dishing out, or has a potential client who won’t hire her because “she might go off on maternity leave”.

We can only hope that secretspads sister evolves her disgusting attitude but it doesn’t sound like she will. Hoping she never gets pregnant and experiences the revolting discrimination she is dishing out, or has a potential client who won’t hire her because “she might go off on maternity leave”.

Why is it disgusting or revolting to prioritise one group of women over another? Why are older women less worthy of employment than those of childbearing age?

I do have an issue with someone taking a new job while pregnant, it feels tone deaf to me. Under those circumstances I’d be really pissed off as a colleague who will either have to pick up the slack or facilitate two lots of induction. It doesn’t make much business sense to me either.

There’s all sorts of circumstances where this might happen. But you only seem to have an issue when it’s relating to pregnant women.

Just wondering what exactly it is you expect pregnant women to do?

My sister is 55 years old and has four children. She has experienced more discrimination over the years than younger women could possibly imagine. She has seen more discrimination than younger women on here could possibly imagine.

We can only hope that secretspads sister evolves her disgusting attitude but it doesn’t sound like she will. Hoping she never gets pregnant and experiences the revolting discrimination she is dishing out, or has a potential client who won’t hire her because “she might go off on maternity leave”

Her sister will probably be ok as she’s ‘not quite a millionaire’ or something like that. So she’s happier to maximise her profits by discriminating against young women instead of being a responsible business owner and abiding by equality laws. She’d rather save money not recruiting young women incase they go off on maternity leave and has to pay for maternity cover before in her mind they have earned their right to. She has no idea what a young woman’s personal circumstances are but she would prefer to judge they are a ‘risk’ to her profits and avoid them altogether. Just incase they happen to be pregnant. She may as well ask them to do a pregnancy test before offering them the job. But because that would be outrageous she’s just pretending they all may be pregnant anyway.

There’s all sorts of circumstances where this might happen. But you only seem to have an issue when it’s relating to pregnant women

What other circumstances would necessitate a prolonged period away from work immediately after starting a new job?

@islandbeach

We can only hope that secretspads sister evolves her disgusting attitude but it doesn’t sound like she will. Hoping she never gets pregnant and experiences the revolting discrimination she is dishing out, or has a potential client who won’t hire her because “she might go off on maternity leave”

Her sister will probably be ok as she’s ‘not quite a millionaire’ or something like that. So she’s happier to maximise her profits by discriminating against young women instead of being a responsible business owner and abiding by equality laws. She’d rather save money not recruiting young women incase they go off on maternity leave and has to pay for maternity cover before in her mind they have earned their right to. She has no idea what a young woman’s personal circumstances are but she would prefer to judge they are a ‘risk’ to her profits and avoid them altogether. Just incase they happen to be pregnant. She may as well ask them to do a pregnancy test before offering them the job. But because that would be outrageous she’s just pretending they all may be pregnant anyway.

Your narrative is getting equally insulting and hilarious. But do continue with your story of what my sister (who you've never met) is like and how she obviously has a problem with pregnant women (rather than not approve of these new practices of pregnant women taking the piss).

@Blossomtoes

There’s all sorts of circumstances where this might happen. But you only seem to have an issue when it’s relating to pregnant women

What other circumstances would necessitate a prolonged period away from work immediately after starting a new job?

You said ‘pick up the slack or facilitate to lots of induction’

Examples: father going on shared parental leave. Long term sickness / temporary cover. Someone quitting. Someone being sacked. All of these things can happen to a new starter. You’ve a right to be a bit irritated if you have to pick up the slack but maybe blame poor management of your workload rather than the pregnant woman whose only crime is needing a job like anyone else.

Your narrative is getting equally insulting and hilarious. But do continue with your story of what my sister (who you've never met) is like and how she obviously has a problem with pregnant women (rather than not approve of these new practices of pregnant women taking the piss).

‘Pregnant women taking the piss’ is all I need to know about what kind of person your sister is. Of course she has a problem with pregnant women - maybe only in her business where it costs her, but of course she does. Plus it’s not just pregnant women she’s hurting is it? Because you said she won’t recruit any woman under the age of 50, because of her attitude towards pregnant women needing jobs.

You’ve a right to be a bit irritated if you have to pick up the slack but maybe blame poor management of your workload rather than the pregnant woman whose only crime is needing a job like anyone else

Did you not read the posts from those of us in the public sector constantly having our workload increased because there’s no money for maternity cover? That’s not poor management, it’s lack of funding.

@SecretSpAD

My sister is 55 years old and has four children. She has experienced more discrimination over the years than younger women could possibly imagine. She has seen more discrimination than younger women on here could possibly imagine.

So she has a ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ attitude towards discriminating against others?

@Blossomtoes

You’ve a right to be a bit irritated if you have to pick up the slack but maybe blame poor management of your workload rather than the pregnant woman whose only crime is needing a job like anyone else

Did you not read the posts from those of us in the public sector constantly having our workload increased because there’s no money for maternity cover? That’s not poor management, it’s lack of funding.

Yes I did and I commented to PP that I understand funding in the public sector is an issue, not recruiting for maternity cover is the easy option to save money. It’s wrong but the issue is with the funding/organisations. Don’t blame the pregnant woman who needs a job just as much as anyone else does.

@Blossomtoes it would appear that some people on here cannot listen to other women's lived experiences and how this small group of women are impacting others because they are too selfish and too busy seeing discrimination where there is none, and ignoring actual discrimination of older women.

So she has a ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ attitude towards discriminating against others?

Yes, dear of course she does