To be surprised a grown man is such a sore loser?

[PlayerUno]

Name changed.

DH, DD and I are on holiday in a big caravan holiday park in Wales. Due to DD'd bedtime we can't really go out in the evenings so once she's in bed we've been playing uno. I won the first two nights and DH was saying yesterday he's going to win and beat me, all in good fun. But when we played last night we only managed 3 rounds as n the 3rd round I got a lucky hand to start and won in two goes. I was laughing as I was having a good time and honestly couldn't believe my luck at getting such a good hand.

He completely lost it, threw the cards at me, and swore at me. I said "seriously? It's just a game" and he shouted at me saying he didn't care if it was just a game, he's fed up of me winning and I was taking the piss by laughing and he stormed outside. I was just in shock.

I slept in DD's room last night and even though we've had a nice day out today (I've kept it civil with him for her sake but haven't spoken to him unless I've had to) I'm still just shocked at a petulant tantrum from a man in his 40s. I honestly don't think I'll ever look at him in the same way again. How does someone get to his age and still be such a sore loser?

Now dreading tonight after DD goes to bed. I'm thinking I might just go down to the arcade bit and leave him on his own in the caravan...

Well he doesn't come off very well here, does he?

Is this a case of cabin fever, or stress elsewhere in his life spilling over? Or is he always this much of a tool?

I strongly recommend that you watch the holiday episode of Father Ted where they go to stay in a caravan. If he normally has a reasonable personality and a sense of humour it might help him get some perspective on how badly his holiday could be going.

That is really weird if out of character. I guess it triggered some feelings of inadequacy but not ok for him to throw anything at you or swear. And he can't ignore what happened. Do you think he will talk about it and apologise? What do you want to do?

What a twatty man child. How unattractive. I’d leave him to it, go to the arcade. Stop off at the bar on the way back.

Gross.

Unfortunately I’ve had too much experience with sulky man children that I kind of expect a certain type of guy to act like this.

Its amazing how many adults become childish over board games, my father is nearly 80 and has form for throwing wobblers over games. Playing games maybe has some psychological link to do with childhood insecurities ?

I'd send him to the arcade with all the other 10 year olds.

We have had a stressful few days as DD is going through her tantrumming phase which has put a dampner on any activities or places we visit. But I don't see why that should make it OK for him to lose it at me over losing a children's game. In fact, it's what has made the evenings so nice as it's just been us two playing and having a drink and (I thought) having a nice time.

The fact that he hasn't apologised today probably means he thinks he was in the right. I'm just avoiding him now, DD will be having a super early bedtime tonight and then I'm off out.

I had an ex like that. He also used to stick his leg out to trip me up if we were out running and he thought I was going to race ahead.

My MIL is like this ... I have memories of sobbing 4 year olds being made to leave the table as they had “lost”

It is so unattractive. I honestly feel like I've seen him in a different light and can't stand the thought of him being anywhere near me. Last night I slept in DD's room because I was upset and scared of him, but tonight I think it'll be because I'm so disgusted.

@BigSandyBalls2015

My MIL is like this ... I have memories of sobbing 4 year olds being made to leave the table as they had “lost”

Oh you have reminded me of a very bad day when my MIL lost to my three year old. They were playing a game, can't remember the name but it was like Ludo but you had to bang a thing in the centre of the board to roll the dice. I remember my MIL kept getting sent back to the start, until she finally had enough and threw it across the room. My daughter was 🙄

That game is Frustration. Sounds like it lived up to its name with MIL!

@PlayerUno

It is so unattractive. I honestly feel like I've seen him in a different light and can't stand the thought of him being anywhere near me. Last night I slept in DD's room because I was upset and scared of him, but tonight I think it'll be because I'm so disgusted.

Tell him this. Tell him it's made him very unattractive and you look at him as a child not an equal partner. Ugh

I suspect he is angry a mere woman has beat him 3 times now.

I would be watching his behaviour from now on. Absolutely go to the arcade tonight, and when he apologises be coldly clear with him that his behaviour was unacceptable and you won't put up with it.

I beat my DH on things and he gets happy!

@PlayerUno

It is so unattractive. I honestly feel like I've seen him in a different light and can't stand the thought of him being anywhere near me. Last night I slept in DD's room because I was upset and scared of him, but tonight I think it'll be because I'm so disgusted.

You poor thing.

I can well imagine that you can't look at him.

He was very nasty and has shown you a really ugly side to him that you can't see.

This is just so nasty and extreme, is it REALLY so out of character for him?

The fact that you felt scared is the deal breaker for me.

That is so serious.

If I felt scared even once of my husband of nearly 30 years it would irrevocably break my trust in him and be a deal breaker.

That he is a sore loser is one thing, unattractive though it obviously is, but throwing the cards at you, shiuting and cursing?

You feeling scared?

Disgraceful.
Absolutely disgraceful.

So sorry for you.

Are you on holiday with my dad?!?

My mum and dad don't play games now because my mum beat him at his favourite game many many years ago, and he actually flipped the board off the table.

She should have left him many many years ago too but she wouldnt so there we go.

I refuse to play Monopoly in our house now due to DH sulking if you buy one of “his” set.

I tried to say that this is the whole point of the game - to try and prevent your opponents from getting sets and building on them! I think he just wants us all to get our own sets & just keep landing on each other, making a very long (boring) game.

He’s only happy playing it if he is winning & causes too many arguments as he makes up rules that don’t exist ie you can’t collect rent if you are in jail YES YOU CAN!

Jesus, this over Uno! What would he be like if you beat him in Top Trumps??? Ridiculous behaviour. Seriously unattractive.

I dated a 'lovely' mild mannered sweet guy once, and we'd booked an escape room-type activity as a fun day out (relating to an old tv show if not too outing . This is really out of my comfort zone as I'm terrible with anything physical, anything under pressure, and being put on the spot doing puzzles etc in front of strangers I just knew I would be awful at it.

We had to do two 'rooms' alone each, as part a larger group (of strangers). By fluke more than anything, I won both of mine, and he lost his. I commented how shocked I was that I'd won for the reasons above (one comment, not bragging at all, as I'm allowed to do), and he just sulked with a face like thunder. We then went to meet his sister and her boyfriend asked how we did. As my bf said nothing, I said that I'd managed to win mine, but bf had just missed out.

He pulled me aside and raged at me (in hushed tones of course) that I'd embarrassed him. I told him to get a grip of his ego and dumped him shortly afterwards.

I'm the sort that'll get 9 gutterballs in a row at bowling and laugh about it and not care. It's a game. But most of my male relatives get so wounded and angry if they lose at anything.

Out of interest, if your DH wins something simple like Uno, do you find he crows about it for AGES too?? Ugh.

Yes he was a twat. However if you usually love him could there be a chance here to ask why he did this? Did he have awful siblings? When you say laughed at him, was it triggering? It might be worth trying to resolve as you are all stuck together

I'm shocked that he threw the cards at you. What a prick.

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

But usually he at least gets angry over something that isn't completely trivial.

I've been having mental health problems recently and have my first suicide prevention session next week. Shit like this doesn't help with me feeling worthless though. I honestly didn't mean to float, I laugh at myself when I'm losing and was laughing at the ridiculousness of such a good hand, I was just having fun.

DD is in bed, just waiting for her to fall asleep and then I'm gone.

From experience it’s not uncommon for some men to get very intense over card games, board games and other things meant to be fun.

I’ve seen grown men have tantrums out riding, because their horse won’t jump a ditch and someone offers to give them ‘a lead’; they get furious with the person offering a lead (even though they’re holding everyone up and it’s nobody’s fault their horse doesn’t want to go first!)

The game Risk seems to lead to people getting very competitive, I’ve seen the board tipped at least once. Chess too.

I’m not excusing your DH but maybe talk about it and ask him? Maybe he thought you were making fun of him?

Your DM is an idiot as well. Tell me how it can be good for your DD to grow up with you being treated like this? He is verbally abusive, this is more than a tantrum over a game.

You don't need to stay with him. This doesn't need to be your life.

My otherwise normal DH gets like this. He has got better at controlling it with me and the DC but a game of mini golf with friends can still end in him having a major strop and storming off. I find it ridiculous and mortifying but he's always been like that and I just try to avoid competitive game situations with him now.