To be surprised a grown man is such a sore loser?

[PlayerUno]

Name changed.

DH, DD and I are on holiday in a big caravan holiday park in Wales. Due to DD'd bedtime we can't really go out in the evenings so once she's in bed we've been playing uno. I won the first two nights and DH was saying yesterday he's going to win and beat me, all in good fun. But when we played last night we only managed 3 rounds as n the 3rd round I got a lucky hand to start and won in two goes. I was laughing as I was having a good time and honestly couldn't believe my luck at getting such a good hand.

He completely lost it, threw the cards at me, and swore at me. I said "seriously? It's just a game" and he shouted at me saying he didn't care if it was just a game, he's fed up of me winning and I was taking the piss by laughing and he stormed outside. I was just in shock.

I slept in DD's room last night and even though we've had a nice day out today (I've kept it civil with him for her sake but haven't spoken to him unless I've had to) I'm still just shocked at a petulant tantrum from a man in his 40s. I honestly don't think I'll ever look at him in the same way again. How does someone get to his age and still be such a sore loser?

Now dreading tonight after DD goes to bed. I'm thinking I might just go down to the arcade bit and leave him on his own in the caravan...

I'd spend half my life sulking if I had to win any game of uno/dobble/snap/cadoo played in our house. I lose all the time, I get ganged up on all the time. He needs to grow up.

I agree he's acting like a total prat, but with your updates, it sounds as if there is a complicated back story. He won't be helping your recovery with this, but while it's obviously good that you are getting support, he needs some as well. You may not be in a position to provide it but I think he needs it from somewhere.

Ugh. I used to go out with someone who always wanted to play silly phone games against each other. It should have been fun but he was determined to win and made a huge deal about crowing and gloating when he won. Once, I beat him and he threw a huge strop, accused me of cheating then didn’t speak to me for three days.

The relationship didn’t last.

My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together

She is wrong.

Me and my brother cannot play boardgames without it escalating. Scrabble isn't too bad but trivial pursuit and monopoly have been banned at get together. We are 46 and 42 haha

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake

I'm so sorry, no wonder you feel worthless. Both of these pricks have done a complete number on you. Anybody who tells anyone to stay in an abusive relationship is plainly wrong. I wish my parents had split up when I was a child.

@PlayerUno

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

But usually he at least gets angry over something that isn't completely trivial.

I've been having mental health problems recently and have my first suicide prevention session next week. Shit like this doesn't help with me feeling worthless though. I honestly didn't mean to float, I laugh at myself when I'm losing and was laughing at the ridiculousness of such a good hand, I was just having fun.

DD is in bed, just waiting for her to fall asleep and then I'm gone.

Wtf Don't 'learn to live with it' Your mum in insane and wrong Your daughter will be damaged if you stay with him FFS

@PlayerUno

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

But usually he at least gets angry over something that isn't completely trivial.

I've been having mental health problems recently and have my first suicide prevention session next week. Shit like this doesn't help with me feeling worthless though. I honestly didn't mean to float, I laugh at myself when I'm losing and was laughing at the ridiculousness of such a good hand, I was just having fun.

DD is in bed, just waiting for her to fall asleep and then I'm gone.

It’s not up to your mum If he verbally abuses her it’s her choice whether to put up with it but you make your own choices

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

I don't think this is true. What makes you think he won't be verbally abusive to your daughter on occasions she's not completely compliant? Is that what you want her to learn about relationships, men get angry and it's a woman's job to put up with it and smooth things over no matter how unreasonable the man is being.

Your Mum knows shit OP. As the daughter of a Father with out of control anger issues, outbursts etc my mental health is shot. Anxiety that I am medicated to the eyeballs for as I could never fully relax as a child (and I mean crippling, real anxiety).
I can't have a successful relationship with a man, thanks to DF, have BPD and severe depression all thanks to Daddy Dearest's temper tantrums.
Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. There. For the sake of your child and yourself

@PlayerUno

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

But usually he at least gets angry over something that isn't completely trivial.

I've been having mental health problems recently and have my first suicide prevention session next week. Shit like this doesn't help with me feeling worthless though. I honestly didn't mean to float, I laugh at myself when I'm losing and was laughing at the ridiculousness of such a good hand, I was just having fun.

DD is in bed, just waiting for her to fall asleep and then I'm gone.

Sorry, but your DM is talking complete bollocks.

It’s NEVER better for a parent to stay in a marriage where one partner has anger issues and loses their temper over something trivial and leaves the other partner feeling scared. Things like that can escalate into physical violence far too easily!!

When you get home contact Women's Aid for advice and start making plans to leave. You really don’t want your daughter to grow up thinking walking on eggshells around a partner is remotely normal, because it isn’t.

Your mum thinks it's best for your daughter to grow living in a house with a man who has anger issues and temper tantrums?

Your mother's bar is set so low you couldn't slip a fag paper under it.

It is never the best option for a child to grow up in an abusive relationship. Does her verbally abuse you in front of her?

Sorry, I missed the bit about the verbal abuse.

I wonder if your mental health would improve if he wasn't there.

He does have anger issues - very short tempered and is often verbally abusive, but I'm learned to put up with it. My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake

What the actual fuck.
Firstly life is too short to be with someone who brings you down.
Secondly and most importantly why are you teaching your daughter that how he treats you is normal? If she was married to a man like him would you encourage her to stay and be abused?

Life would be great if all kids had both parents and everyone got on but that’s not the reality. Please put you and your daughter before that disgusting man and your mother.

I'd love to get out and that is the eventual plan but it's going to be almost impossible financially. I'm just waiting until I'm in a better financial position.

In the meantime I just have to find ways of coping. Obviously playing games together is now off the table!

My DM has made it clear that it's better for DD to have both parents together so I'm sticking with him for her sake.

She's so very, very wrong.

Ring women’s aid. Get into emergency accommodation and apply for benefits. You’ll have a tough year or so but get back onto your feet.
Trust me you will always find an excuse because it’s scary but it’s worth it.

Has it not occurred to you op that your shit husband and your mental health are linked?

You DO NOT have to stay with this man and your DM is horrible for telling you to.

Your mum is very wrong here.

It's fine you making the decision that you're okay with being verbally abused but what about when he starts doing it to your daughter ?

@CBroads daughter will already think if someone verbally abuses you or shouts and kicks off it’s normal, it’s normal to have mum sleep in with you. Kids pick up on SO MUCH.

No, you don't have to learn to live with a man with anger management issues. He's being abusive and from the sound of it, so is your mum. What has your relationship with her been like? Why do you feel that she's right and you're wrong, and you have to do what she says?

Sorry OP, cross posted with your update.

Db and dm were terrible losers. My df was always good at games.

Yes interesting why some people are like that