To hand a sick note in?

[QuestionableMouse]

I'm exhausted. Absolutely wiped out. I had covid last week, my mam has been in ICU since last Friday with complications of Covid. I'm still struggling with the Covid leftovers (exhaustion being the main one!) I'm doing childcare for my sister 7-5 every day this week. I don't think I've slept longer than two hours in a row since Friday.

I literally feel like my cup is empty.

I have two ten hour shifts this weekend on a busy dining area and I could honestly cry when I think about it. The short school run today left me absolutely wiped.

I don't want to let work down but at the same time, it's more disruptive if I go in and have to leave.

Wibu to hand a sick note in?

@QuestionableMouse

Sister won't because she literally started the job on Mon and doesn't feel like she can and there's no-one to cover for my BIL so his boss has refused any sort of leave.

Honestly when I say I have no choice, I mean that. The only other choice is my dad but he's getting over Covid too and he doesn't cope well with them on his own.

Why do you keep saying 'you don't have a choice' - they aren't your kids! This is bonkers and you are being incredibly unreasonable.

Your BIL needs to step up. Let him take a sick day. Why should you make yourself worse looking after their children. They are their responsibility, not yours OP.

If you are fit enough to look after children then I’d be angry if you called in sick due to Covid exhaustion. These are not your children. If you cannot look after them and sister/bil fail to sort out something safe that is their problem. One has to take time off work, pay for or find other free childcare, that is part of being a parent. If they would not do that and was leaving them unsafe then to be blunt it is an issue for children services.

@TintinIsBack

But even if it’s to the detriment of your very close family members, Incl the dcs….

Nice….

You are aware that if OP doesn't go to work then she likely wont be paid so putting herself out is probably going to cost her almost £200?

OP I'm on my 6th week off sick with Covid and a secondary chest infection and kidney infection and am only now getting better. I'm in my early 30s.

I was advised by the Covid monitoring team and by several GPs to rest to reduce my chances of developing long Covid. If you push yourself too much now you risk being unwell for longer, or developing long Covid. Look after yourself.

You shouldn't be looking after your sister's children, it's really not on for her to ask this of you when you're so poorly. BIL is entitled to emergency leave and should use that. Or they should do whatever they would do if you lived 5 hours away, or were in hospital.

I know you won't be looking after them when signed off sick for the weekend but there is a risk your employer will find out you spent the day before caring for someone else's children.

In terms of getting a sick note just contact your surgery and ask one. You can also request them through the NHS app. I requested mine via eConsult, explained I was no longer covered by my isolation note and was still feeling unwell. I had a sick note sent digitally a few hours later. Then I just emailed a PDF copy to my manager. They don't go into great detail about what's wrong with you IME - mine have just said 'Covid-19 infection'.

no-one to cover for my BIL so his boss has refused any sort of leave

This is wrong, his employer has to give time off for emergency childcare, which is what this is. It's a legal entitlement. Probably unpaid, but boss can't just flatly refuse to allow it.

So 1) you tell the parents you are too unwell to look after the children on Friday in order to give yourself a restful day.

2. You talk to a GP and explain you are still recovering from Covid and are not yet fit enough to work. Get a sick note and then you have it at the ready to use if you need to or ignore if you TRULY feel fit enough to work. Seriously consider if you are up to going in or not, as you say it makes life trickier if an employee is in and out rather than simply off sick. Also, that kind of a sick record can reflect worse on you and potentially trigger absence management procedures.

You have been really kind to your sister but at your own detriment, don't make things worse for yourself. In your shoes, I'd probably be considering no childcare on Friday and also ringing in sick for a couple of days to give you a chance to properly recover,

@Looktotheright

If you are fit enough to look after children then I’d be angry if you called in sick due to Covid exhaustion. These are not your children. If you cannot look after them and sister/bil fail to sort out something safe that is their problem. One has to take time off work, pay for or find other free childcare, that is part of being a parent. If they would not do that and was leaving them unsafe then to be blunt it is an issue for children services.

Massive difference between sticking the kids in front of cbeebies for as long as you can get away with it while lying on the sofa and playing sleeping lions, and getting all the way dressed then going out for a 12 hour shift with grown-ups and bosses.

I'm absolutely not saying she should be looking after her sister's kids - she should be resting and getting all the way better. But the two things aren't comparable.

I feel annoyed on your behalf. Your sister is cheeky. You’re unwell so shouldn’t be looking after her children. You do have a choice though. Say no.

Its a big cheeky to take on all the childcare and then get signed off sick because you are too tired to go to work., Your sister needs to make her own arrangements. But it does sound as if you are genuinely ill so no more looking after sister's kids.

You have a choice. Your sister and BIL should have a plan b regarding childcare. Imagine you had to be admitted to Hospital what would they do? They should use their A/L for this.

"I don't have a choice unfortunately. She's just started a new job and so feels like she can't take time off and there's no-one else to mind them."

OP, your Mam is in the ICU. What if you were too? What would your sister have to do then? Because whatever it is, she should be doing it RIGHT NOW.

If you push yourself too far so soon after having covid, there's a good chance you will have long covid and it will be months before you get over this. Does your sister give a shiny shit about your health? She needs to arrange alternate childcare and not drive your health into the ground.

Take the time off work. You are doing a good thing for your sister & BIL. I hope your mum improves and is out of ICU soon.

@TintinIsBack it’s because I have mutually supportive relationships with friends and family that I’m so appalled by this. I’d never ask my sister to do 7-5 childcare for an entire week while she was exhausted from having covid! I would be putting myself out by making sure I found other childcare, not expecting her to risk post-viral fatigue and burnout doing it for me! The OP is taking on far too much, the sister and BIL are massively taking advantage and clearly don’t care about her enough or they would never demand this of her. It’s great to help each other out; it’s not ok to expect a loved one to risk their own health and employment so that you don’t have to push for emergency leave or find the cash for childcare. Both sisters are in a shitty situation, but the OP is unwell. She needs to be looked after, not exploited for 50 hours of childcare post-covid!

You can't be that bad if your doing childcare for someone else.. if your well enough to care for others children your well enough to work and if you're not well then you really should be prioritising work over someone else's childcare

Of course you have a choice, they’re not your kids! You’re too ill to do childcare so your sister and BIL will need to sort something else.

By all means call in sick to work if you’re genuinely sick. But if you’re choosing to do 50 hours of childcare for someone else’s kids which is preventing you getting the rest you need to recover then that’s unreasonable.

That's if you can get a sick note. My usually excellent surgery can't give me a phone appointment till October!

@QuestionableMouse

Sister won't because she literally started the job on Mon and doesn't feel like she can and there's no-one to cover for my BIL so his boss has refused any sort of leave.

Honestly when I say I have no choice, I mean that. The only other choice is my dad but he's getting over Covid too and he doesn't cope well with them on his own.

No hon, it's your sister who has no choice, you have plenty, say no!

As an employer I would be offering you time off due to your mum being in ICU. I wouldn't be impressed (or offering) knowing you were watching someone elses kids. Your sister and BIL needs to sort their own childcare. It is not your problem.

Either your sister or your BIL must give up their job to care for their children. They obviously cannot afford childcare so have no choice. What will they do during the school holidays or when any child is sick? They are being very unreasonable. You need to get well. The children are not your problem.