DSS won't see me around my birthday?

[Hop27]

DSS's won't see me on or around my birthday. I've been in his life since he was a baby and our relationship is mostly good. It can be difficult at times during periods driven by his mum when things aren't going her way - which they aren't right now.
We are going out for lunch on my birthday, we planned together as a family and booked somewhere we all want to go, he no longer wants to come.
We are having a small party at the weekend with a teen friendly activity, with his cousins (same age) which we've done previously, offered him to bring mates, he no longer wants to come.
AUBU to have been a step mum for over 10 years and for my feelings not to be considered?

Original plan was for him to have the day off school. (It's the last day before the holidays)

Agree with pps that's the problem. I bet he wasn't the one who suggested taking an unauthorised absence.
You sound a bit entitled tbh.

I'm always sympathetic to SM as I think it's a tough gig.

But I am absolutely, totally gobsmacked that you would want to take a 13 year old of school for the day to go out for lunch.

That's absolutely not OK.

Of course he cannot miss school.

Just do what you want to do and he will go to school.

He's 13 of course he can be left alone for a couple of hours after school if you are still out.

Part of the pleasure of going to school is going in on the fun days. It’s a reward. You’ve chosen the wrong day. Your dss just took a little while to realise it.

I’ve also got a 13 yo. It’s really ott to expect him to do exactly what you want on the last day of term for the whole day. I also don’t see why your dh will have to leave early, can’t he just go to a mate’s house?

I also don’t get the bit about the teen friendly party / meet up. This isn’t still for your birthday, is it? That sounds way ott. He’s a teen, 13 is just the start and an age, when kids very begrudgingly spend time with people, other than their chosen friends… including their cousins.

If you want him to see his cousins, it shouldn’t be about you, but about him.

I have never heard of anyone taking their own child out of school for a birthday lunch, never mind a stepchild. This post is weird quite frankly. No wonder his mum's not pleased.

Any update