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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My dad calls me 'Mummy'

65 replies

georgarina · 15/09/2021 11:11

I've told him that I hate it and normally say something like 'Don't call me that, I have a name' but he ignores it.

He also kind of shouts it in a really grating way ie. 'Here you go Mummy' while playing with my kids and throwing a dirty paper towel at me to throw away, for example.

It makes me feel like I'm not being seen as a person, and honestly makes me feel a bit sick to be called that by someone who's not my child. AIBU?

OP posts:
FleasInMyKnees · 15/09/2021 11:14

Does he only do it when he is with your children, maybe he says it because you are their mummy. When I talk to children when there parents are there I refer to them as mummy and daddy.

Original poster
georgarina · 15/09/2021 11:17

Yeah he only does it when I'm with the kids. Other people do it too but it's more like 'Ask mummy if you're allowed' not directly calling me Mummy. Which is more what makes me feel weird

OP posts:
Granllanog · 15/09/2021 11:17

My parents often call me "mummy" in front of the kids. They use my name at other times.........I'm not bothered. I call my mum Gran when with the kids too............

Kiki275 · 15/09/2021 11:18

I agree with pp, it might make it easier for the children to understand. Same as I just always refer to my in-laws as grandma and grandad, it's just habit now.
I called my brother by his name and my nieces said "that's not brother, that's daddy".... no way am I calling him daddy though 😂
If you've requested him to stop however, then he really should.x

QueenAdreena · 15/09/2021 11:19

I’d say this is normal, my parents call me mummy when in front of my young children. They use my name when we’re not.

PumpkinKlNG · 15/09/2021 11:19

My ex use to call me mummy, I hate it

galacticpixels · 15/09/2021 11:20

This is normal. I call my brother and SIL mummy/daddy when I'm with their children. Same for calling my mum granny.

stairgates · 15/09/2021 11:20

Agree with pp's mummy is my name 8n front of the kids, if someone said, better check with Carol, the kids would think it was very strange and funny.

WandaVision2 · 15/09/2021 11:23

I agree with other posters, the alternative sounds weird

SummerWhisper · 15/09/2021 11:29

Just ask him to use your mummy instead of just mummy. He might understand that.

CrasterKipper · 15/09/2021 11:33

This seems normal to me Confused

MitheringMytryl · 15/09/2021 11:35

If the children are young I would usually call their parents Mummy and Daddy.

Polkadotties · 15/09/2021 11:37

Completely normal.

Dandy0911 · 15/09/2021 11:37

I don't get it?

I would like it if my parents or DH said to my daughter

'Here go and give this to Danielle'

Errr mummy thank you!

campion · 15/09/2021 11:37

@galacticpixels

This is normal. I call my brother and SIL mummy/daddy when I'm with their children. Same for calling my mum granny.
Not normal for me. Children are quite capable of making the distinction.Names aren't a secret.

I don't blame you OP for being annoyed and if he persists after being asked not to I'd be tempted to ignore until he uses your name.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 15/09/2021 11:37

Yes, when my children were little my parents called me mum when they were around.
I think it's quite common but if you don't like it and he won't stop when you tell him to, then maybe you need to say it in a way he will understand by perhaps going home. Keep doing that till he respects what you are saying.

Motherdare · 15/09/2021 11:39

Argh! My dad does this too and I hate it! The only other people who’ve ever done it were health visitors/nurses etc when my children were very little. And that was worse because they weren’t saying it to the baby but directly to me. “So, mum, how are you feeling?” Etc It felt so patronising and demeaning.

My dad only does it around the children, obviously, and I don’t like to mention it as he is very well-meaning and just enjoys the whole hoopla and hilarity of his daughter being an actual parent.

Original poster
georgarina · 15/09/2021 11:39

I don't have a problem with calling me Mummy to my kids, just when speaking directly to me. He did call my grandparents Grandma and Grandpa when around me when I was young so it's not just to me. There's just something about it that makes me cringe

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 15/09/2021 11:40

Are people getting confused by what the op means, As it’s ones thing saying to a child “ask mummy if she wants a drink” but literally referring to someone as mummy so “mummy would you like a drink?” It’s the latter that is being referred to which yes is odd!

Antinerak · 15/09/2021 11:43

It would be fine if he was just referring to you as Mummy when talking to the kids but not all the time. You're not just a Mummy, you're a person and his daughter too. You're right to not like it!

3scape · 15/09/2021 11:47

It's so rude. It's so important for children to learn normal conversation, this isn't really normal. Calling you mummy is weird when it's your dad too.

Do you call him dad/ by his name?

Balonzette · 15/09/2021 11:50

I think this is really normal.

I don't remember my grandparents ever saying "go to Janet!" It was very much always "go to mummy"

Kuachui · 15/09/2021 11:56

Happens to me but I'm not bothered by it :S it's not a big deal

Couchbettato · 15/09/2021 11:56

I asked that my family called me mummy Infront of my son because at 2 year old he was still calling me boobies, but happily called his dad daddy, his gran Granny and every one else by their names.

I think it'd be weird if we said "go ask Sarah/Jean/Polly" when the way the kids refer to you is Mummy

Original poster
georgarina · 15/09/2021 11:58

@PumpkinKlNG exactly, as I said I have no problem saying 'go to Mummy' etc. It's directly calling me Mummy - 'Mummy come here' - that I'm talking about.

OP posts:
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