My dad calls me 'Mummy'

[georgarina]

I've told him that I hate it and normally say something like 'Don't call me that, I have a name' but he ignores it.

He also kind of shouts it in a really grating way ie. 'Here you go Mummy' while playing with my kids and throwing a dirty paper towel at me to throw away, for example.

It makes me feel like I'm not being seen as a person, and honestly makes me feel a bit sick to be called that by someone who's not my child. AIBU?

@Lweji

He also kind of shouts it in a really grating way ie. 'Here you go Mummy' while playing with my kids and throwing a dirty paper towel at me to throw away, for example.

Never mind calling you mummy.
Why is he throwing dirty paper towels at you for you to throw away?

That’s what I want to know.

As usual, most of the posters have ignored the worst thing in the OP.

OP, he has zero respect for you, tell him straight that unless he stops the disrespectful behaviour, you won’t be seeing him again.

I wonder if there's more to this situation that meets the eye. What's your relationship like with him? Is he passive aggressive or a bit of a wind-up merchant?

Yeah, it's a bit weird. Ignore what he says when he does it, and if he pulls you up or calls "mummy" increasingly loudly, point out that she's not there, she's wherever his mum is.

Doesn’t bother me. My husband, parents and in-laws all call me Mama in front of the kids, my name if they’re not there. I do the same to my husband (Papa - we are not in Britain). They directly call me it as well as referring to me that way. I’d hate for my kids to refer to me by my name rather than Mama, which has happened to my friends in the past.

Can't help people are missing the point.

Refering to OP as mummy when talking to the child -> Totally fine, e.g. "Where is your mummy?"

Directly talking to OP and calling her mummy-> Really fucking weird "So how are you today mummy?"

OP, he has zero respect for you, tell him straight that unless he stops the disrespectful behaviour, you won’t be seeing him again.

My thoughts exactly. But, it is possible I misunderstood the OP and he is not as awful as he sounded to me.

@Embroidery

Its normal and reinforcing what you are called.

They wouldnt say give it to Sarah would they. You arent Sarah to your child.

Get over yourself.

It wasn't that complicated, surely? Let's try again: Grandparent to child "Give it to mummy" = totally normal. Grandparent to child's parent: "Mummy, would you like a cup of tea?" = what the OP is objecting to.

@SusieBob

Can't help people are missing the point.

Refering to OP as mummy when talking to the child -> Totally fine, e.g. "Where is your mummy?"

Directly talking to OP and calling her mummy-> Really fucking weird "So how are you today mummy?"

I think the point people are making, including myself, is that in their experience both are normal if said in the presence of a child.

If OP finds it weird, that's her call and I hope her father respects her wishes and doesn't say it again in the future

Think it's fine as long as he only calls you mummy in front of the kids. I have to call my husband dad/daddy in front of our toddler otherwise he'll start shouting and calling him by his 1st name, which is only funny for about 2 minutes

I remember being thrown as to how to refer to my sister when I was with her and my nephew. (Sort or like "we'd best ask mum if you can have that).

As I couldn't remember for the life of me if she was mum or mam (she is one and her wife another)

Think I just pointed in the end and said "we'd best ask the boss"

Grandparent to child's parent: "Mummy, would you like a cup of tea?" = what the OP is objecting to.

For me it would depend in the context of these types of question as to whether it was weird.

If DD and I had just come in to my parents or grandparents house and they were offering drinks or something where my DD was in the conversation then it wouldn't be weird if it went something like "DD, do you want a drink? Mummy, what about you?"

However, if my DD was just in the room but not part of the conversation then it would be weird if the other person referred to me as Mummy.

Having said that, why is everyone needing to use names and/or Mummy all the time when talking to someone? If I am at family's house and someone offers a drink or asks a question they usually just directly ask everyone "Do you want a drink?" and will only use names if people don't respond/aren't listening/to get someone's attention.

@GemmaRuby

It’s like when the health visitor calls you mum, so uncomfortable. E.g. “Can you pass me that folder mum”.

This is the worst! Or "and how's mum feeling?" Well the baby's not going to tell you so address your question to me!

I call my mum 'nanny' when playing with the kids.

MIL does this occasionally. It's weird.
I went on a my friends birthday weekend and she spent all weekend calling her parents Nanny and Grampy... her children weren't even there

It seems odd to me too OP.

I don't have DC but when I'm with my brother and my nieces I'll address my brother by his name when asking him something, but refer to him as 'daddy' if talking to my nieces. They've always understood the distinction that I call him by his first name when I speak to him, they call him Daddy.

Not a chance in hell of me saying to my brother 'do you want a cup of tea, Daddy'.