School are going to think DD(8) has a warped mind!!!

[Jourdain11]

DD2's Year 4 class are writing "urban wildlife diaries" this week and I took a look at what DD had written so far this evening.

"There were rats at the bottom of the garden. I saw two it was the size of a cat."

"At night I could hear foxes fighting and they make a sound like ladys screeming ." (At least she didn't know what they were actually doing.)

"On the way home I saw a dead squirel and two pigeons were eating it."

"There are lots of spiders in our house and my dad washed them down the plug drownde them."

Urgh... I'm sure the teacher was expecting different kinds of birds singing outside the window and late summer butterflies. DH thought it was hilarious but I'm sure the teacher is going to think she's a Disturbed Child.

Yes, IABU: let her get on with it and see how grim it gets

No, IANBU: encourage her to look at, er, more pleasant urban wildlife.

@winnieanddaisy

When my much younger brother was about 8 the class were told to write a warning poem for bonfire night . DB wrote ' there goes an ambulance with friend, now his life has come to the end' .**

Jesus why are kids so macabre 😂😂

😂😂😂

This thread is a gift!

Loved Disco Turkeys and think the Brownie rabbit huntress is going to be a very practical girl.

Would buy the miscellaneous howlers @NanaPorsche if it was published, sounds a good laugh!

@DoIBully

Aged 8 my brother wrote in a similar diary "I heard my mum and dad go to bed, they were giggling and panting like dogs when they run a race. Which isn't fair because I get told off for giggling"

My mum worked at the school as well, she says she never looked that teacher in the eye again

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It seems pretty standard for an 8 year old. They are often fascinated by the gory bits at that age, hence the reason Horribpe Histories is so popular.

@Jourdain11

I just hope the teacher isn't too shocked. Mind you, at least she's actually doing a diary and not just making it all up on the last day

Shocked at what?

That’s hilarious. It’s just her perspective on things.
Some years ago I took my dn to the zoo, later when asked about what she had seen my dn replied lots of pee and poo! 🤣

I love it, I'm sure the teachers will have seen it all before & will love it too 😂 at least it's honest

I used to occasionally face paint gets etc. I realised it's a bit like a hairdresser to kids, they just relax & spill the beans & what they don't know they make up.

My favourite was a 3 yo at my friends nursery fete. She plonked herself down & started to tell me all about "drunk mummy" who wasn't at work at all, she just pretended she was & was actually sat on the sofa drinking wine & eating crisps.

My friend knew her DM well & she was teetotal 😂

Haha!

Of my 3 kids, DD2 is the one who produces the most cringe moments. DD1 is a year older and has very severe OCD and currently undergoing assessment for other issues. One of her big anxieties is eating and once DH got a little desperate after she'd refused to eat anything for 3 whole days, and unwisely tried to push a spoonful of yoghurt between her lips. You cannot imagine the scenes DD2 told her TA confidingly that DD1 was "on hunger strike" and mum and dad had been "forcefeeding her, just like the suffragettes."

During an Ofsted inspection I was being observed teaching a poetry lesson about the wonders of nature. I asked the children what kind of things we could write about. The most challenging child in the class shot his hand up, yelling " Ooh! Ooh, a mouse!" I was just thinking to myself thank god he's engaged with the lesson, when I realised he was telling me that a mouse was running around in the art area. Cue pandemonium from the children on the carpet and I swear I heard the inspector snigger as she made a swift exit from the room!

@themagicnumberthree

My son was asked to draw his favourite thing from the summer holidays and wanted to draw a dead rabbit that he'd seen on the playground. Also told the health visitor that he was getting whisky for his 6th birthday (it was a bottle of grandads 'investment' whisky to put aside)

We've given a bottle of investment whisky for a christening present before now. Much better than all those dust gatherers. 😂

@Jourdain11

DD2's Year 4 class are writing "urban wildlife diaries" this week and I took a look at what DD had written so far this evening.

"There were rats at the bottom of the garden. I saw two it was the size of a cat."

"At night I could hear foxes fighting and they make a sound like ladys screeming ." (At least she didn't know what they were actually doing.)

"On the way home I saw a dead squirel and two pigeons were eating it."

"There are lots of spiders in our house and my dad washed them down the plug drownde them."

Urgh... I'm sure the teacher was expecting different kinds of birds singing outside the window and late summer butterflies. DH thought it was hilarious but I'm sure the teacher is going to think she's a Disturbed Child.

Yes, IABU: let her get on with it and see how grim it gets

No, IANBU: encourage her to look at, er, more pleasant urban wildlife.

Why is your husband killing spiders? Not a good example to set at all. All life is valid

This is brilliant love it.

Oh my gosh...

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-horrified-daughters-wildlife-homework-21593114

I'm slightly sad that my own comment about teaching Tank to the other DCs was over looked, though.

Oh my God!

It's in the Mirror too:
www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-shocked-daughters-dark-wildlife-25006396.amp

Freakily, the girl in the Mirror pic is the absolute spitting image of my DD Although "mum" looks nothing like me.

Lol, now the question is, do I tell DD that her writing has been "published in the national press"? 😂

YABU, kids can often be entertainingly dark, I think teachers are used to it!

Why not print out a copy and try to make a copy of the diary itself then save them to show to your DD when she is older? It will be one of those lovely, slightly embarrassing, family anecdotes when she is a teenager.

Ah, that's a nice thought!

The diary, incidentally, is now complete and I'm pretty certain that not one pretty or pleasant specimen of urban wildlife has graced its pages.

Oh I agree with printing it out - that sort of thing is lovely to look back on when one is much older!

I should think teachers have seen much more startling revelations!

My 7 year draws nothing but people being hung, dead people, skeletons and “killers” interspersed with some lovely animal drawings. He’s frighteningly good too, lots of blood and gore.

His teachers just laugh and tell us he has an excellent imagination and a great talent for art. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Your teacher knows your kid isn’t disturbed, they just write what’s in their heads and 9/10 it’s not bunny rabbits and birds singing.

I remember writing a weird, dark story in primary 7 and my teacher wrote "wonderfully macabre!" in the margin