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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School are going to think DD(8) has a warped mind!!!

147 replies

Jourdain11 · 15/09/2021 00:17

DD2's Year 4 class are writing "urban wildlife diaries" this week and I took a look at what DD had written so far this evening.

"There were rats at the bottom of the garden. I saw two it was the size of a cat."

"At night I could hear foxes fighting and they make a sound like ladys screeming ." (At least she didn't know what they were actually doing.)

"On the way home I saw a dead squirel and two pigeons were eating it."

"There are lots of spiders in our house and my dad washed them down the plug drownde them."

Urgh... I'm sure the teacher was expecting different kinds of birds singing outside the window and late summer butterflies. DH thought it was hilarious but I'm sure the teacher is going to think she's a Disturbed Child.

Yes, IABU: let her get on with it and see how grim it gets

No, IANBU: encourage her to look at, er, more pleasant urban wildlife.

OP posts:

DagenhamRoundhouse · 16/09/2021 17:58

It is rather gothic but good for him for his powers of observation! He only reported what he saw.

Thisistherhythmofthenight · 16/09/2021 18:09

This is exactly why I love children.
We went to our local library which has a museum upstairs. Currently has an Egyptian exhibition with a mummy and the fancy sarcophagus next to it. Cue my two DS 5 and 6 shouting I wanna see the dead body. Look at that box that's my box when I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣

queenbee72 · 16/09/2021 18:15

@sweeneytoddsrazor

Leave her to it. I think its great. I once took a group of girls Brownie age on a survival course, and the instructor asked what they would do for food if the were lost in the woods. One girl piped up I would put some nice dandelion leaves on the floor, sit in a tree with a brick and when a rabbit comes to eat the leaves I will drop the brick on him.

Omg!! I love that. Macabre and funny.

themagicnumberthree · 16/09/2021 18:18

My son was asked to draw his favourite thing from the summer holidays and wanted to draw a dead rabbit that he'd seen on the playground. Also told the health visitor that he was getting whisky for his 6th birthday (it was a bottle of grandads 'investment' whisky to put aside)

pollymere · 16/09/2021 18:24

It sounds like excellent homework to me.

ERFFER · 16/09/2021 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hawkins001 · 16/09/2021 18:51

@Jourdain11

I just hope the teacher isn't too shocked. Mind you, at least she's actually doing a diary and not just making it all up on the last day

We need a follow-up for when the diary is marked, please

RainBow725 · 16/09/2021 18:52

@safclass

Spiders dont drown when washed down the plug. The little buggers curl in a ball and float and start climbing again!

This is true. They demonstrated it on Blue Peter once! Plus they live outside - where it rains!!🕷🕷🕷

HJ91 · 16/09/2021 19:02

I burst out laughing - she sounds great. I’m sure the teacher will agree!

iklboo · 16/09/2021 19:09

DS wrote:

We have a hamster. He is called Rigby. He has got brown fur and a big willy.

Diva66 · 16/09/2021 19:25

Your daughter sounds awesome OP

Hellocatshome · 16/09/2021 19:27

To be fair if my kids had got that homework the only urban wildlife we see on a regular basis are rats and drunk men having a wee in the back lane.

ImprobablePuffin · 16/09/2021 19:59

My son saw a peacock and shouted 'Ooh a disco turkey!'

Cuddlemuffin · 16/09/2021 20:02

The teacher will be delighted to read something interesting and insightful. I once had a child write...the sky was blue like my old top on a piece of SATs writing. Your child sounds talented

RowanAlong · 16/09/2021 20:02

Brilliant realism and taste for the dramatic - what’s not to like? It will make her teacher’s day.

Original poster

Jourdain11 · 16/09/2021 20:10

The birds and butterflies continue to be totally overlooked in favour of ongoing commentary on the rats at the bottom of the garden. The only comment the "nice" urban wildlife merited was that she saw some green birds which are "more interesting than the ordinery kind".

"The rats in the garden. They must sleep in the day becase you only see them in the evening. Sometimes you here them fighting. This is not somthing I saw. When my mum was a student she lived in a house, where there where rats. Every one left but my mum, had to stay becase she had exams. She slept in bed with a basball bat to wack the rats if they jumped on her in bed.

My mum said we have to call the counsil about the rats. But my dad doesen't care."

Today the school was unexpectedly closed, so they got told to write an extra long entry for their "home learning". Thankfully they are back tomorrow. There was also a nice little illustration of me (with terribly messy hair) bopping rats on the head with a baseball bat in bed.

OP posts:

Supergirl1958 · 16/09/2021 20:42

YABU! This is the kind of writing I live for when I’ve got 3 sets of thirty books to mark!!

CrisPbacon · 16/09/2021 21:03

In his wildlife diary, at an urban xchool, My 6 year old grandson explained in detail how to gralloch, skin and cook a roe deer. His teacher said she started off horrified and ended up salivating as he told her how much red wine and mushrooms to add.....

DeepaBeesKit · 16/09/2021 21:10

Honestly I couldnt be a teacher. But in my craziest moments if I thought I fancied it, year 3 &4 would be great because they just come out with so much good stuff, no filter. Its hilarious.

CambsAlways · 16/09/2021 21:18

I think it’s great

Supergirl1958 · 16/09/2021 21:49

@DeepaBeesKit

Honestly I couldnt be a teacher. But in my craziest moments if I thought I fancied it, year 3 &4 would be great because they just come out with so much good stuff, no filter. Its hilarious.

Ha ha! Sometimes!! Not all the time! The best pieces are always not punctuated, which always makes it harder

themagicnumberthree · 16/09/2021 22:04

@ImprobablePuffin disco turkey 🤣

NanaPorsche · 16/09/2021 22:24

In a lesson on simile children had to choose a colour and describe objects.

A little boy wrote: I really lick the culler wite it makes me fink of shite. (We had done onset and rhyme recently. )

The headteacher just happened to be on a walk about (spying) and came into class. I told him of this piece of work. He invited the boy to read it to the whole class.

The boy stood up proudly and read: I really like the colour white it makes me think of snow.

What a let down.

I photocopied that masterpiece for posterity.

I have quite a collection of howlers - including diary entries. A little girl wrote: On Satdy (Saturday) my mummy allus (always) shaves her frunt bum.

Original poster

Jourdain11 · 16/09/2021 22:32

@NanaPorsche

In a lesson on simile children had to choose a colour and describe objects.

A little boy wrote: I really lick the culler wite it makes me fink of shite. (We had done onset and rhyme recently. )

The headteacher just happened to be on a walk about (spying) and came into class. I told him of this piece of work. He invited the boy to read it to the whole class.

The boy stood up proudly and read: I really like the colour white it makes me think of snow.

What a let down.

I photocopied that masterpiece for posterity.

I have quite a collection of howlers - including diary entries. A little girl wrote: On Satdy (Saturday) my mummy allus (always) shaves her frunt bum.

Lol... How did she know? I mean, I allus shave my front bum too, but it's not really a spectator sport

OP posts:

winnieanddaisy · 16/09/2021 23:50

When my much younger brother was about 8 the class were told to write a warning poem for bonfire night . DB wrote ' there goes an ambulance with friend, now his life has come to the end' .**

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