To feel depressed by it getting dark so early

[Poetrypatty]

... And only going to get worse. I think that Boris press conference today didn't help. Feel miserable going into another winter of all this crap and the effort of keep trying to keep mine and dcs mood up.

@JassyRadlett

How are those posts meant to make the OP, or anyone, feel better. If you hate the dark mornings and evenings/afternoons no amount of trying to feel positive about hot chocolate etc is going to help.

It would have to be a very fucking good hot chocolate. I’ve yet to meet one that makes up for all the downsides. Even in countries that make it properly.

Could not agree more. I hate milk and hot milk is absolutely disgusting - the taste and even smell is vile. Hot chocolate made with water is pretty disgusting too.

I don't want hot chocolate either. I want cold glasses of blush or g&t in the garden.

@JassyRadlett

How are those posts meant to make the OP, or anyone, feel better. If you hate the dark mornings and evenings/afternoons no amount of trying to feel positive about hot chocolate etc is going to help.

It would have to be a very fucking good hot chocolate. I’ve yet to meet one that makes up for all the downsides. Even in countries that make it properly.

I've just tried the new hotel chocolat black forest hot chocolate in our velvetiser and it is 👌

But on a serious note I hope all of you suffering from SAD are able to access medical support - life is so short, it feels sad that some of you are wishing half the year away. My mum is from an equatorial country and HATED the winters here when I was growing up. Once we were all old enough to get ourselves to school on our own she basically hibernated indoors all winter. My dad, brothers and I were all autumn and winter lovers so we must have really done her head in with our relentless cheeriness during the darker months!

@KT727

Also one thought that helped me with my SAD was realising that yes, the days are getting shorter but by just before Christmas they start getting longer again so I spend time between Sep and Dec thinking about and planning for Christmas and then know that the sunlight hours are gradually increasing after that.

This is why Christmas is celebrated when it is. Symbolic... The darkness us starting to be challenged and overcome by the LIGHT. Love it... lol...

It is all easier for me as I have no obligations except to feed the cats. So I can rest in the hard weeks and as I wrote about my Christmas.. It is only really since I came out here that this has been so an d I am deeply relieved and blessed that I can. Thanks to email etc too

I love the days after the solstice - watching for the lighter nights coming in and counting the additional minutes of light during my commute home is like a weight lifting off my shoulders.

But on a serious note I hope all of you suffering from SAD are able to access medical support - life is so short, it feels sad that some of you are wishing half the year away.

Not all of us suffer from SAD, though I do feel so much for those who do. Some of us just think it’s a total ball ache of a season and it’s actually worse in some ways at this time of year when it is looming over you and you know a return to what we have now is achingly far off.

I’m also from a much warmer country, that I’m not able to get to thanks to Covid. The British winter weather has very little to redeem it.

I've just tried the new hotel chocolat black forest hot chocolate in our velvetiser and it is

I’m glad you like it, though you’ve just reminded me of another winter thing I can’t abide: everyone seems to think fake cherry flavour is wonderful and doesn’t taste like cough medicine at all, and obviously we want it in all our drinks. Even the smell makes me want to throw it across the room.

I am resolved that next year I will go onto all the threads where people are moaning about how much they hate summer and tell them to cheer up, it’s lovely, they’re wishing whole weeks of their lives away! I’m sure that will be received well.

I am resolved that next year I will go onto all the threads where people are moaning about how much they hate summer and tell them to cheer up, it’s lovely, they’re wishing whole weeks of their lives away! I’m sure that will be received well.

Erm I don't think I did tell anyone to cheer up and that they should find autumn and winter lovely!

Fortunately there were hardly any ‘it’s toooo hot’ threads this year. As it was a shit summer (apart from that one week in July). And even the summer haters can cope with one week (when we have to cope with 6 months).

@Delatron

Fortunately there were hardly any ‘it’s toooo hot’ threads this year. As it was a shit summer (apart from that one week in July). And even the summer haters can cope with one week (when we have to cope with 6 months).

That's the thing, summer isn't always hot and unbearable. Quite often it's cool and wet. It's a rare summer which has a heatwave from the start of June to the end of August. But EVERY winter is dark and cold and miserable.

@Jasmine11

I am resolved that next year I will go onto all the threads where people are moaning about how much they hate summer and tell them to cheer up, it’s lovely, they’re wishing whole weeks of their lives away! I’m sure that will be received well.

Erm I don't think I did tell anyone to cheer up and that they should find autumn and winter lovely!

Yes they did 10:58am and 14:54 today. I know the second post came from a good place, but the earlier one with its little - not so much.

@SirChenjins but that wasn't me at 10:58am, the poster I was replying to just now was responding to my post, so I was just pointing out I hadn't done that annoying minimising people's feelings thing by telling them them to cheer up :) As I mentioned in my previous post my Mum was a dark season hater too so I was acknowledging how annoying it must have been for her having an autumn and winter loving family!

Yes a week of hot and unbearable versus the rest of the year how the cool damp people like it. It’s slightly unbalanced (and that’s why we get a bit cross!).

[quote Jasmine11]@SirChenjins but that wasn't me at 10:58am, the poster I was replying to just now was responding to my post, so I was just pointing out I hadn't done that annoying minimising people's feelings thing by telling them them to cheer up :) As I mentioned in my previous post my Mum was a dark season hater too so I was acknowledging how annoying it must have been for her having an autumn and winter loving family![/quote]
No, I know it wasn’t you - @JassyRadlett had just pointed out that there had been posts telling people effectively to cheer up.

It is completely unbalanced - a few weeks of slightly warm weather every year, a few days of very hot weather (or so I believe from what I see on the weather forecast - it never gets that hot here in Edinburgh!), snd then months and months of cold, dreary weather and endless darkness. Those people who don’t like summer don’t exactly have to put up with it for too long!

I feel the same and I think the awful couple of summers we've had don't help. You feel kind of cheated because summer brought endless rain and it was barely warm enough to take your hoody off. Now it's more wind and rain and cold to look forward to and dark early too. And the kid's sleep pattern (such as it is) is about to be destroyed too. Why do kids sleep so much better in summer? And the horrible frumpy itchy layers, socks, artificial light, stuffy artificial heat, huge bills, frozen car in the mornings and everyone's expectations that it's all so wonderful and exciting. It's not, it's crap and hard work especially with a child with ASD and asthma who really suffers in bad weather. Give me 25C and light until 10 any day.

I once worked with someone who used to say, round about Dec 7th, "In two weeks time the days start drawing out again".

No that wasn’t all you, @Jasmine11, but I’ll admit your ‘it’s so sad, like you’re wishing half your lives away’ struck me as particularly jarring and irritatingly pitying given the content of the thread. Sorry if I’ve upset or offended.

I just can’t figure out why people feel the need to come on a thread where people are sharing their frustrations and difficulties and tell them all the ways they’re wrong, that they’re sadly wishing half their lives away, and if only we embraced cosiness and reading and mulled wine and hot chocolate we’d learn to love going for walks in the rain when it’s two degrees outside.

I’ll admit to being grumpy about this. Last winter there was at least a little hope. But this is my third winter without my family at Christmas thanks to the pandemic, without being able to get away to my home country at Easter for the sunshine I crave, where we are slogging through the long cold months without even the memory of a lovely warm summer to fall back on. I’m just not in the mood for patronising hot chocolate chat, even if it’s meant tongue in cheek.

It’s ok to think winter weather in this country is shit. I’m not wishing half my life away. I just think the weather is shit and to be endured, not enjoyed.

@JassyRadlett

No that wasn’t all you, *@Jasmine11*, but I’ll admit your ‘it’s so sad, like you’re wishing half your lives away’ struck me as particularly jarring and irritatingly pitying given the content of the thread. Sorry if I’ve upset or offended.

I just can’t figure out why people feel the need to come on a thread where people are sharing their frustrations and difficulties and tell them all the ways they’re wrong, that they’re sadly wishing half their lives away, and if only we embraced cosiness and reading and mulled wine and hot chocolate we’d learn to love going for walks in the rain when it’s two degrees outside.

I’ll admit to being grumpy about this. Last winter there was at least a little hope. But this is my third winter without my family at Christmas thanks to the pandemic, without being able to get away to my home country at Easter for the sunshine I crave, where we are slogging through the long cold months without even the memory of a lovely warm summer to fall back on. I’m just not in the mood for patronising hot chocolate chat, even if it’s meant tongue in cheek.

It’s ok to think winter weather in this country is shit. I’m not wishing half my life away. I just think the weather is shit and to be endured, not enjoyed.

I didn't mean it in an irritatingly pitying way - my lovely mum died way too young and I guess I was reflecting to myself on how as a winter hater who wished away half the year how sad that is in (my) hindsight. Some people on this thread mentioned they suffered from SAD and it is sad if they haven't sought medical help with it and it is affecting their life and causing them suffering.

I don't think anyone has said that people on this thread are wrong for hating winter, a few posters have tried to get people to see the positives which may have come across as patronising.

I'm sorry you haven't seen your family for so long, but it's not for you to police who writes what on a thread, or whether they are tongue in cheek - it's not like people have descended into a pile on on the OP - this is a pretty tame AIBU thread!

I'm sorry you haven't seen your family for so long, but it's not for you to police who writes what on a thread, or whether they are tongue in cheek - it's not like people have descended into a pile on on the OP - this is a pretty tame AIBU thread!

I’m not trying to ‘police’ the thread - don’t be silly. I’ve not said or suggested people shouldn’t post.

I’m wondering about people’s motivations for posting. What do they get out of telling people who hate winter how much they enjoy it?

Obviously they can post as they like, even if it’s beyond annoying and totally tin-eared. But in return they shouldn’t be surprised if they are given quite short shrift in response. As you say… it’s AIBU.

@JassyRadlett

I'm sorry you haven't seen your family for so long, but it's not for you to police who writes what on a thread, or whether they are tongue in cheek - it's not like people have descended into a pile on on the OP - this is a pretty tame AIBU thread!

I’m not trying to ‘police’ the thread - don’t be silly. I’ve not said or suggested people shouldn’t post.

I’m wondering about people’s motivations for posting. What do they get out of telling people who hate winter how much they enjoy it?

Obviously they can post as they like, even if it’s beyond annoying and totally tin-eared. But in return they shouldn’t be surprised if they are given quite short shrift in response. As you say… it’s AIBU.

It does come across that you are trying to police the thread with comments about not understanding why certain people are posting which is implying that their opinions and comments are not welcome on this thread. Peoples' motivations aren't necessarily purposefully trying to be annoying here, it's human nature if someone presents a problem 'I find winter depressing' to then try and suggest a solution 'well have you tried x,y,z/hot chocolate etc' Especially as the OP mentioned trying to keep theirs and their DC's moods up.

No-one needs to be given 'short shrift' on a fairly friendly thread, not every AIBU thread needs to be combative although admittedly most of them do end up that way these days.

@Bookaholic73

I think a lot of it can be changed by our mindset. Instead of focusing on all the things you don’t like about Autumn/Winter, think of the things you do like.

For example, things I love about Autumn and Winter are:
Cosy evenings in watching movies
Snuggling on the couch with a good book
Comforting stews with dumplings
Chilly and muddy dog walks, all bundled up
Soft lighting
Halloween, Bonfire night & Christmas
Root veg soups

If it’s actual depression, please do go and seek help though. No amount of positive thinking will help a chemical imbalance.

Blimey

Staying home every night to watch movies is boring.

I love reading, but prefer to do it in the sun.

Hate being bundled up and muddy walks with the dogs?? no thanks, they bring it in everywhere. I do quite like dumplings though.

I also don't think some people get how hard it is for us cold blooded people to warm up.

I hate it when people tell you to just stick a jumper on. If I get cold then I get cold to the bone and it can take bloody hours to warm up. I can go for a walk in the cold, wearing proper winter clothes and still feel bloody freezing for hours afterwards.

Blankets are OK as long as I don't have to get up and I can't work with one around me.

It is utterly miserable and putting on an extra jumper does not help.

SAD Therapy Lamp
Sunrise Alarm Clock
Take 5HTP
Take Vitamin D
Wrap up warmly when you do go out so you're not shivering and miserable. Don't get caught without an umbrella.

Battle Winter on all fronts. I have a good enough social life and maintain it in Winter or I'd feel worse.

Wow, thanks all for the comments on here, surprised it is still going. LadyCatStark thanks for the SAD thread, will be joining.

Like pp I get very cold and it's hard to warm up, which can be difficult. Lucky that I can wfh and will make the effort to go on a lunchtime walk. The endless grey and overcast days and the rainy days are worse than ones with blue skies. Pre Brexit I would have retired somewhere warmer when I got to retirement age. Not an option any longer

Bonfire night I don't get, but then where I live you'd have to go to a huge public display which would be difficult to get to and back from. Otherwise it's just weeks of fireworks being set off at all hours. Not a fan of Halloween or Christmas or New Years of hot chocolate! I wish I was, and don't want to wish time away but the SAD seems to be getting worse as I get older. I'm sure the pandemic doesn't help.

It does come across that you are trying to police the thread with comments about not understanding why certain people are posting which is implying that their opinions and comments are not welcome on this thread.

I apologise. That wasn’t my intent. I honestly want to know what people get out of those sorts of posts. Because I find them really antagonistic and unsympathetic - and yours particularly on the ‘wishing half your life away’ being so sad really wound me up, and didn’t strike me as friendly at all. And that’s exactly why I don’t go onto the ‘I hate summer’ threads going ‘have you tried ice in your drink?’ Because I’d sound like a patronising twat, and I don’t assume those people are thick.

I’ve explained why I’m probably more sensitive than I usually would be. I’m finding this really tough, which is why the superficial solutions struck me as even more tin eared and patronising than usual. I’m sorry for not being cheery and polite about it.

But given that neither of us are policing the thread (right?) I reserve the right to give short shrift where I feel short shrift is merited. Top contender: suggestions of hot chocolate and walks in the rain.

@JassyRadlett

It does come across that you are trying to police the thread with comments about not understanding why certain people are posting which is implying that their opinions and comments are not welcome on this thread.

I apologise. That wasn’t my intent. I honestly want to know what people get out of those sorts of posts. Because I find them really antagonistic and unsympathetic - and yours particularly on the ‘wishing half your life away’ being so sad really wound me up, and didn’t strike me as friendly at all. And that’s exactly why I don’t go onto the ‘I hate summer’ threads going ‘have you tried ice in your drink?’ Because I’d sound like a patronising twat, and I don’t assume those people are thick.

I’ve explained why I’m probably more sensitive than I usually would be. I’m finding this really tough, which is why the superficial solutions struck me as even more tin eared and patronising than usual. I’m sorry for not being cheery and polite about it.

But given that neither of us are policing the thread (right?) I reserve the right to give short shrift where I feel short shrift is merited. Top contender: suggestions of hot chocolate and walks in the rain.

I love how you've completely ignored my explanation of why I found it sad it when it seems like people are wishing their lives away i.e the untimely death of my winter-hating mother, while expecting understanding of why you are particularly sensitive around this topic i.e you miss your family. If that's not the very definition of 'tin eared' I don't know what is!