To feel depressed by it getting dark so early

[Poetrypatty]

... And only going to get worse. I think that Boris press conference today didn't help. Feel miserable going into another winter of all this crap and the effort of keep trying to keep mine and dcs mood up.

I know many people don't look forward to Winter. Im an avid reader, so usually spend most of winter doing this. When I couldn't get out last year, I gave myself the goal of thinking I only had till the 21st December to get through (the shortest day). Then the evenings begin to get lighter. It helped me in a small way. One other thing, time passes quicker the older you get. Ive found this to be true. Im not trying to belittle anyone affected by SAD as I know it's a real condition. Im just saying what helps myself, that hopefully might help other people.

I get that people are ranting on here but it doesn't really help dismissing everyone by saying you hate 'cosy' and hot chocolate etc. At the end of the day they are only trying to make the OP feel a little better with some positives about the season and they will be the ones spending autumn/winter feeling better and enjoying their time more! (winter can be long in the UK, might as well try to find things that make it enjoyable, for some people that's hot choc and blankets in front of a movie).
Generally speaking you need to find something you like about it or something you can do that's enjoyable, if you don't the only person that suffers is you

I do think focusing on the 21st December helps @Gothichouse40

People don’t realise how debilitating it can be with SAD. It can be mild or severe. I had to retrain as I actually couldn’t do my job in winter. I was so drained of energy. So now I work from home in a
more flexible job.
I don’t have to get up ridiculously early (I think I go in to hibernation mode in winter). And have time to get out on long walks with the dog in the day which has helped. I’m lucky I can manage it like this.

I think what is unhelpful is all the snuggly cosy hot chocolate talk. How anyone wants to do this
for months and months I don’t know.

We also often get short changed on summer here. Particularly August which can be dull. I should probably emigrate!

You get some lovely light quality this time of year, especially on a frosty or slightly chilly morning and watching the sunbeams in the woods at dawn, I'd really recommend trying a bit of photography or getting out there at dawn & dusk to see

Foggy, rather than frosty

It is a bit trite to suggest hot chocolate though. I don’t even like hot chocolate.

@SirChenjins

The lack of sunlight/daylight is awful - going to work and coming home in the dark, lunchtime & weekend walks curtailed because it’s pouring down or sleeting/snowing. Living in darkness. Defrosting car windscreens. Central heating on. Stodgy food. Icy roads and pavements. Very little plant life. Bleak landscapes. There’s not enough scented candles or fluffy throws in the world that can make up for the misery of winter. Loathe it with a passion.

This! My SAD is genuinely life-impacting. I cease to function in winter. Systems slow down and life seems like moving through treacle with no hope or joy. I hate winter and I despise Christmas. Light boxes help a bit. When I lived in Cornwall it helped as you get 20mins more light in the evening.

@SirChenjins

For me winter is where hope goes to die

Never a truer word spoken - you have summed up the coming months perfectly in just 9 words there.

So true.

The cosy hot chocolate stew by the fire people can do one.

I’m pretty sure people with SAD are aware they are suffering and are trying to find solutions.

I don’t think people skipping on here saying how much they love lying under some blanket for 6 months all cosy is helping. It’s always trotted out as a reason to like winter. It’s fine for people to say they can’t think of anything worse than festering under a blanket.

Some other good suggestions on here though once we’ve got past the Halloween, bonfire night, stew, soft lighting, cosy crap.

I actually think lots of vitamin D and getting outside for a good few hours every day are the things that have helped me the most.

@JustGiveMeGin

I get that people are ranting on here but it doesn't really help dismissing everyone by saying you hate 'cosy' and hot chocolate etc. At the end of the day they are only trying to make the OP feel a little better with some positives about the season and they will be the ones spending autumn/winter feeling better and enjoying their time more! (winter can be long in the UK, might as well try to find things that make it enjoyable, for some people that's hot choc and blankets in front of a movie). Generally speaking you need to find something you like about it or something you can do that's enjoyable, if you don't the only person that suffers is you

Yes but this approach is like telling someone with clinical depression to cheer up. It is facile and unhelpful. SAD is a biochemical whole body and mind affecting disorder, it’s not ‘feeling a little blue’ and you can’t just pull yourself together and make a f*cking hot chocolate to make it all fine.

I am with you op. I also think I experience SAD at this time of year. I have just posted on a thread about loving this time of year ut basically the things that keep me happy and well are running, outdoor swimming and daylight/sunshine. All of these things are severely restricted or non-existent over autumn/winter and Christmas, which was always a happy time for me now has sad memories/associations of separation and wedding anniversaries.

I am usually pretty good at rallying myself round but it always takes me some time to adjust to winter coming, even though it happens every year.

@JustGiveMeGin

I get that people are ranting on here but it doesn't really help dismissing everyone by saying you hate 'cosy' and hot chocolate etc. At the end of the day they are only trying to make the OP feel a little better with some positives about the season and they will be the ones spending autumn/winter feeling better and enjoying their time more! (winter can be long in the UK, might as well try to find things that make it enjoyable, for some people that's hot choc and blankets in front of a movie). Generally speaking you need to find something you like about it or something you can do that's enjoyable, if you don't the only person that suffers is you

The problem is that sitting under blankets with artificial light and lots of sugar is actually the worst advice you can give to some who is suffering with depression! You need to get outside, get moving and get lots of vitamins to get your hormone levels up and your brain functioning correctly. So it’s not just annoying advice, it could actually be damaging and people who don’t know this may end up doing the wrong thing to actually help them.

Yes but this approach is like telling someone with clinical depression to cheer up. It is facile and unhelpful. SAD is a biochemical whole body and mind affecting disorder, it’s not ‘feeling a little blue’ and you can’t just pull yourself together and make a fcking hot chocolate to make it all fine.

People just don;t get it. It's not a "I'd prefer it to be June" feeling. It's not even a "I'd prefer it to be hotter" feeling. It's not about the clocks changing or there being less daylight in the evening or the morning.

It's far more basic than that - it's about the lack of daylight. Betwen 17th dec and 24th dec in Glasgow the length of the day - i.e. light - is less than 7 hours. You can fuck around with the clocks as much as you like, starting the "day" at 7am or 9am or midday - but you are still only going to ever get 7 hours of light.

The autumn lovers bang on about crisp bright mornings and long walks in the sunshine and yes, those sorts of things are amazing. But more often the weather is cold and dull and foggy and even if the sun does break through at midday for an hour, there's not always the chance to drop everything and head outside. Many people go to work in the dark, come home in the dark, never see the daylight at all. That is profoundly depressing for many.

The reason we get so pissed off with the hygge huns is that their trite little comments are completely useless and ridiculous. Like telling someone with a broken leg to buy a new lipstick to make them feel better. It's not addressing the issue, and they don't want a lipstick anyway.

I used to hate autumn and winter then last year we decided to completely home educate for a year and spent so much time outdoors and I noticed a HUGE difference in my mood. Even if we were out in the rain. This year DD is back in school but every morning I'm doing a long walk and going to keep it up whatever the weather.

@BergamotandLime

I used to hate autumn and winter then last year we decided to completely home educate for a year and spent so much time outdoors and I noticed a HUGE difference in my mood. Even if we were out in the rain. This year DD is back in school but every morning I'm doing a long walk and going to keep it up whatever the weather.

My problem is that I start work at 7.30am so any walk before work would need to be at 6.30am at the lastest, when it's dark, and I finish at 4-ish, by which time it's also dark in the depths of winter. I only get 30 mins for lunch if I'm lucky.

I do get out in the daylight at the weekends but that's just not enough for me.

Wouldn’t it be great if companies could do more to support people. Later start times, flexible working, supporting people having enough of a lunch break to get outside. Outdoor walking meetings. It can’t be good for anyone to be indoors all day and see no daylight.

I'm always a bit puzzled by 'just get out for a long walk' advice. How exactly is anyone supposed to do that if they're commuting to and from work in the darkness, have limited time at lunchbreak and often it's pouring down in winter - so limited place in the office to dry a big coat and wet shoes?

I completely agree with PP , the idea of lying under a blanket drinking a sugary hot drink and watching TV for months on end really isn't the best approach to improve your MH, quite the opposite - and yet every year the advice is trotted out as a way to love winter. @KingsleyShackleboltKingsleyShacklebolt has it right - it's not just a case of looking on the bright side, winter can be absolutely debilitating for many of us.

For me it’s not just the seemingly endless grey and dark and wet , it’s the cold. I am perpetually cold from November until April/ May( if we have shit spring like this year). I layer up until I can’t move for layers but I still have the underlying cold feeling.
Working in a school with rubbish heating means I often wear a coat and scarf indoors then when on duty I put a second coat on, as well as the scarf, gloves, thermal vests, layered jumpers and multiple socks.
I live in fear and dread of it.

I used to hate autumn and winter then last year we decided to completely home educate for a year and spent so much time outdoors and I noticed a HUGE difference in my mood. Even if we were out in the rain. This year DD is back in school but every morning I'm doing a long walk and going to keep it up whatever the weather.

That's brilliant if you don't have to drop the kids off in the dark, dash for the train, get to the office, grab a bite to eat at lunch, back to the office, train in the dark, pick up kids in the dark, home.

The one good thing about WFH all last winter was being able to drop the kids off at school in full daylight. But then it's back to work. A lot of people don't have time for a lovely long walk in daylight hours every day in winter. (And honestly going for a walk in freezing rain is my idea of purgatory.)

@BergamotandLime

I used to hate autumn and winter then last year we decided to completely home educate for a year and spent so much time outdoors and I noticed a HUGE difference in my mood. Even if we were out in the rain. This year DD is back in school but every morning I'm doing a long walk and going to keep it up whatever the weather.

Before work I assume ?

The cosy hot chocolate stew by the fire people can do one.

Very polite. I hope they spontaneously combust along with their marshmallows. Twats.

@JustGiveMeGin

I get that people are ranting on here but it doesn't really help dismissing everyone by saying you hate 'cosy' and hot chocolate etc. At the end of the day they are only trying to make the OP feel a little better with some positives about the season and they will be the ones spending autumn/winter feeling better and enjoying their time more! (winter can be long in the UK, might as well try to find things that make it enjoyable, for some people that's hot choc and blankets in front of a movie). Generally speaking you need to find something you like about it or something you can do that's enjoyable, if you don't the only person that suffers is you

How are those posts meant to make the OP, or anyone, feel better. If you hate the dark mornings and evenings/afternoons no amount of trying to feel positive about hot chocolate etc is going to help.

I can't really think of anything I like about winter. I should not have to sit in my living room with a bloody blanket over me to watch tv.

"winter can be long in the UK"!!! Too bloody true. We are lucky if we get 3 weeks of any sort of decent weather and the rest of the year is often grey, cloudy, damp, raining, windy etc.

On the rare cold frosty but sunny winter days I do feel slightly better but I would still prefer it to be sunny and not dark by 3pm.

I walk my dogs every day so I do get out but whereas I love summer walks when I can look at peoples' gardens and not have to wear 10 layers of clothing I am not keen on winter walks (or often autumn and sometimes spring ones).

Get soaked on a dog walk or caked in mud has nothing good about it. Spending hours drying my dogs or even having to bath and then dry them because of the mud is definitely not fun. It can take 3 hours just to dry 1 dog.

Peoples' gardens, like my own, are usually drab and sad. Already my wonderfully colourful garden is starting to look sad.

YABU I much prefer this to living near the equator where there’s not much seasonal difference.
To get long summer days we trade darker winter ones.

I don’t think anyone here is saying that there aren’t nice things you can do in winter.

For me it’s that everyday live is just harder and less enjoyable.

Waiting for the train.
Waiting with DS2 at DS1’s football training for an hour. This week we sat on the grassy hill overlooking the pitch, did his reading and maths homework together, had a nice chat about his day in the sunshine. Come November it will be dark away from the pitch, totally freezing and we’ll be huddled in the car in coats and still cold.
Standing by the side of aforementioned pitch at the weekend in freezing wind/rain.
Coats on, coats off, carrying the feckers in overheated shops, where is my other glove, oh I think I left it at school.
Washing taking forever to dry. House perpetually covered in damp laundry.
Mud. So much mud. Having to strip kids when they get in the door because of all the mud.
Let’s go for a lovely long walk oh no we blinked and it’s raining again and we’ve missed our window for a lovely walk.
Having to wear socks inside all the bloody time.
Developing an allergy to those socks midwinter because your body hates winter and having to decide between warm feet and non-itchy feet.

Almost every part of daily life is slightly more difficult and slightly (or more than slightly) less enjoyable in the damp, grey British winter. If it was dry and bright, with snow, I wouldn’t mind half as much. It’s just the endless drab inconvenience of it.

How are those posts meant to make the OP, or anyone, feel better. If you hate the dark mornings and evenings/afternoons no amount of trying to feel positive about hot chocolate etc is going to help.

It would have to be a very fucking good hot chocolate. I’ve yet to meet one that makes up for all the downsides. Even in countries that make it properly.