The farmer wants a wife

[Anothermothernamegame]

DD 4yo has just started reception, and has been singing this song, which they have taught her.

'The farmer wants a wife... The wife wants a child etc'.

AIBU to think this is a really old fashioned, and fairly sexist song to be teaching kids?

Just for the record, it's a fairly "progressive" school in a fairly "progressive" and sought after neighbourhood.

...and no, I don't usually have a stick up my arse, so might well be overreacting.

I definitely don't conform to 'woke' culture or cancel culture at all
Ah, we'll forgive you so.
😁

@mumwon

Ahem men on the bus go snore snore snore while wives on the bus say For gods sake wake up its your turn, its your turn (repeat) hold the blinking baby

Not in our bus they didn’t. The mums on the bus went “chatter chatter chatter”

There again DS at one point also has ducks eating ice cream on his bus so it’s safe to say that one can have a wide variety of variations

I sing this at work and guess what, the farmer is often a girl and the wife is often a boy, but the dog is never a dog
And we don’t pat the bone, we clap the bone, patting would be utter carnage

@DontStepOnTheMomeRathz

There already is a reality tv show called The Farmer Wants a Wife.

Who knew.

Well exactly! ^ Some farmers DO want wives. Not that unusual for any man to want a wife to be honest. (Or as someone said, maybe the farmer is a woman!!!)

Just wait till she learns about the old woman who lived in a shoe!

@PlanDeRaccordement

The farmer wants a wife comes from when farmers would actually BUY a wife (often underage) so I’m not sure it’s suitable. But to be fair I doubt the school have thought that much about it.

No it doesn’t. The “farmer wants a wife” is part of the song “The Farmers in his Den” which originated in Germany in the 1820s and was first recorded in Britain in 1898. The song goes from farmer wants a wife, to wife wants a child, to child wants a nurse, to nurse wants a dog, to dog wants a bone and we all pat the bone.

Long after any rural wife sales.

Surely that means people can also cancel it due to the unquestioning support for breastfeeding when #fedisbest?

Makes the innuendo in Whose Pigs Are These? (or as DP used to sing at his moorland infant school 'Ooze Pigs Be Thees?' going by the tape recording his Dad made) seem positively benign... [/sarcasm]

@Meatshake at DS' nursery it's the mummies who say shh shh shh, the children on the bus are far too loud (shouted) and the daddies on the bus just fall asleep, which given a lot of the threads about cocklodgers and feckless husbands sounds reasonably accurate

@Anothermothernamegame

Ha! Oh god well I accept I'm being a total knob jockey then. I definitely don't conform to 'woke' culture or cancel culture at all, but can see how that may have been assumed. This is my first week back to work after maternity leave, trying to reduce BFing, and barely sleeping. I'll put it down to that I certainly wasn't going to lose sleep over it, and I wasn't fretting, I just eye rolled a bit when my 4yo DD came out with 'the wife wants a child', and so came to see just how much of a tit I was being. Turns out I'm being a solid 9!

Knob jockey.

No worries OP. I get aghast at daft stuff too. (Well this is daft IMO!)

You're right, it's old-fashioned and sexist. But many nursery rhymes are. They're still fun to sing though. I remember enjoying them as a kid, and am happy for my own kids to learn them too. At that age they don't take them seriously.

I get you OP. My MIL sings a song to the children that goes "This is the way the gentlemen ride gal-lop gal-lop gal-lop. This is the way the ladies ride trit-trot trit-trot trit-trot"
Pisses me right off as I used to compete in eventing competitions galloping across country over big jumps. Whereas DH has been on a horse twice in his life and would probably cack himself if it broke into a canter. (Also, back when ladies rode sidesaddle they tended to walk or canter, not trot as trot is less comfortable).

Do any of you remember 'in and out the dusty roses'?
Dusty Bluebells where I came from.

@mangowithasqueezeoflime

I am very confused with this dog and bone thing!

Where I grew up the dog picks a cat, the cat picks a rat and the rat picks a cheese.

Then...

"The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone. Hi ho the dairy-o, the cheese stands alone"

F that patting business!

We patted a bone, im a 70,s child 🤷‍♀️ My favourite was the Big ship sails on the Alley, Alley Oh.

Not as bad as mummies on the bus chatter chatter chatter, daddies on bus say shhh shh shh. That gives me the absolute fucking rage watching a bunch of women sing that to their kids in a preschool group. The day a daddy tells me to shh shh shh is the day that daddy on the bus gets told to fuck right off, fuck right off, fuck right off...

Love it!

Its a traditional song
Teaches children about cultural capital, heritage and FBV

Even as a child I never understood why everyone had to pat the bone! It just doesn’t make sense!

There are not many nursery rhymes that aren't offensive or unpleasant, really. Babies falling off boughs, farmers' wives cutting off blind mice's tails, Jack and Jill falling down a hill...

Oh, and "took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs."

I’d be more concerned about the fact that the wife takes a child…

@dannydyerismydad

I could never get my head around everyone patting the bone at the end. Why not pat the dog?

I bloody hated being the bone and being slapped around the head.

I used to make kids sing

“We all wave at the bone”

Which was ridiculous, but stopped a lot of opportunistic thumping.

I remember getting a bit concerned when ds came out of nursery singing wind the bobby up.
Did ask nursery what the song was.

So many nursery rhymes would not get past the censors today :
Three blind Mice
Ring a ring o Roses
Humpty Dumpty
etc

@Sirzy

And ring a roses is from when people where dropping dead from the plague. Thankfully children don’t need to understand historical context to enjoy joining in!

Three blind mice, cruelty to mice though I doubt many toddlers are worried.

Daddies on the bus are playing on their phones here. I bloody loved that playgroup.

OP I kind of get where you’re coming from but this is not the thing you want to introduce yourself to the reception teachers with. Trust me.

When I grew up it was the farmer TAKES a wife, so this lyric is better

@dannydyerismydad

I could never get my head around everyone patting the bone at the end. Why not pat the dog?

I bloody hated being the bone and being slapped around the head.

We had 'and the cheese stands alone' at the end, but yeah the cheese would always cry