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AIBU?

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Original poster

To remind you that no photography includes you?

151 replies

persee · 12/09/2021 08:42

We went to our daughter’s graduation ceremony yesterday. She was getting her PhD from Oxford. The ceremony is a solemn/traditional one. At the beginning of the ceremony, they said no phones please and no filming or photography. There was a live video being recorded that you can obtain online. It also said this in the degree ceremony handbook.

Why is then, that some people think this rule does not apply to them? A woman in front of us stood up numerous times to video parts of her child’s graduation. Another chap was taking pictures, texting, and had his phone go off loudly.

When dd was up front for her bit in the ceremony, the woman in front was on her phone again. The screen was distracting from being able to focus on the degree ceremony.

OP posts:
terrywynne · 12/09/2021 09:00

@SethWho

Why is solemn- shouldn't it be a celebration?
Probably because it involves lots of Latin, processing, bowing, gown changes, and more bowing/taps on heads with books/handshakes (level of degree dependant). It is more akin to wedding ceremony in terms if solemn celebration. Most people do the non solemn celebrating outside the ceremony.

The no photography must be a new thing though as I'm sure it wasn't a few years back.

lljkk · 12/09/2021 09:02

I would think it was amusing that some people just ignored the rules.

midsomermurderess · 12/09/2021 09:03

A PhD graduation at Oxford, you say? Why Celia you must be so proud of Caroline

GlmPmum · 12/09/2021 09:07

@midsomermurderess

A PhD graduation at Oxford, you say? Why Celia you must be so proud of Caroline
Lol first thing that went through my mind too 😄
drpet49 · 12/09/2021 09:10

Because people don’t want to pay £50 or whatever it is for a video showing 10 seconds of their child.

I would do the same

Whatwouldscullydo · 12/09/2021 09:11

Why was there a no photo rule?

If they were trying to rip you off by flogging you a long video of everyone else's family just so you can see the 30 seconds of yours then good fir them for not falling for it tbh.

FrancescaContini · 12/09/2021 09:14

@CoastalMum101

It’s not a solemn occasion Confused. I agree with rubyfowler the videos are just money spinners. Considering the amount of money phd’s cost the least they can let you do is take a photo/ video of the tiny bit of the ceremony your daughter is involved with. I went to my sisters and it was almost a whole bloody day, who the hell would want a video of that?
The OP said it’s a solemn occasion so why are you disagreeing with her? Were you also there?
Wole · 12/09/2021 09:15

I went to a really solemn almost joyless wedding. There wasn't a no photo rule. It's not like a funeral. It's a good thing.

SisterMonicaJoansHabit · 12/09/2021 09:16

I watched my mum graduate in London, my dad, brother, nan and I were sat up near the back, we had to sit through everyone else's turn, but the people in front of us figured they could leave as soon as their family member was done, and that happened to coincide with my mum being called. My nan was so cross at them. She was rarely not smiley.

It had clearly said that everyone was to stay seated through the entire ceremony.

I'm still grateful to have been there. I'm still so proud of her. But yes, people are ridiculous.

My brother was telling me yesterday about when he worked at a well known theme park, and the sorts of things guests would just randomly assume they could do. That's all for another thread though.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 12/09/2021 09:18

PhD......?

Hmm!

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2021 09:20

No photo rule is batshit, people will want yo take photos of such an important time in their child’s life. For me that would be more important than some ludicrous rule.

Whitefire · 12/09/2021 09:20

Why are people so obsessed with taking photos of everything? There is no more of just being in the moment, life has to be viewed through a phone screen.

People just photograph anything and everything nowadays, and what for? They sit on a phone or in the cloud never to be seen again.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/09/2021 09:20

@midsomermurderess

A PhD graduation at Oxford, you say? Why Celia you must be so proud of Caroline
Grin
Coogee · 12/09/2021 09:24

I thought Oxford awarded DPhils rather than a PhDs?

ThatSunnyCorner · 12/09/2021 09:24

As long as people don't cause a distraction, it seems odd to ban photos. When our DC graduated photos were allowed, and it was lovely to be able to show grandparents the moment our DCs received their degrees. None of us would have wanted a video.

Coogee · 12/09/2021 09:26

Ignore the extraneous “a”.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/09/2021 09:27

@Coogee

I thought Oxford awarded DPhils rather than a PhDs?
It does.
Yerroblemom1923 · 12/09/2021 09:27

I don't think I'd get worked up about it, it's a long do with loads of hand shaking and clapping. It's not like it's a school play and you can't do pics because of the adopted/fostered kids etc - those rules are there to protect them.
Degree ceremonies are just - walk on, shake hand, walk off. You only really want to see your son/ daughter and then you'd be off ideally.

SofiaMichelle · 12/09/2021 09:28

Well, OP, we're around 40 posts into this thread now and you can probably get a good idea of just how many people think the rules don't apply to them already.

Yerroblemom1923 · 12/09/2021 09:31

I think if the rules make sense people are more likely to follow them eg Foster kids at school play etc, no flash in museum etc as can tarnish exhibits etc etc, concert can be distracting to the performers etc

SusannaM · 12/09/2021 09:34

I wouldn't take a photo in a swimming class or lots of other places where a no phone rule is obviously for safeguarding or safety purposes. But an occasion where the rule is obviously there to line someone's pockets by forcing you to buy an expensive DVD which you'll only watch 10secs of, nope, I'd take a picture. I would be careful not to annoy anyone else whilst doing it though.

Shadedog · 12/09/2021 09:35

I think a graduation is the one place I couldn’t get wound up about it. Graduations are odd in the sense that the entire audience are there for hours to see one 20 second slice of the performance that is specific to them, in the knowledge that the rest of the room gives zero fucks about it. It’s not like holding an iPad up at a school play or a gig and blocking the view, or at a wedding where it would distract from an actual ceremony. I agree the constant filming of every bloody thing is wearing. I’ve seen 3 funerals pop up on my Facebook feed this summer. The coffin in the hearse, the grieving parents and siblings. Bloody awful. Not just filmed, but filmed and broadcast on Facebook.

dyslek · 12/09/2021 09:36

When my daughter graduated from Oxford I dont remember a no photograph rule? as far as I can remember many many families were taking pictures and filming?
What college was she at?

PurpleOkapi · 12/09/2021 09:36

I can't get too worked up about people breaking a rule that shouldn't exist. Especially now, when covid and related restrictions make it either impossible or unsafe for many graduates' relatives to attend the ceremony in person.

shouldistop · 12/09/2021 09:37

Congratulations to your daughter, what a great achievement. Star