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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I might be getting scammed - again!

119 replies

Judithand · 11/09/2021 13:17

We are doing a huge house renovation and adaption this summer. Our builder recommended a kitchen fitter who came out and gave a quote. The reason I booked him is because he said he would be available.

He asked for 50% deposit in cash and I foolishly paid him.
He kept pushing back the job and eventually just stopped replying. The builder knows his family, and found out he has a drug addiction and has gone missing.

So deposit gone.
I put on social media to find another kitchen fitter for this weekend as we are only waiting for this work before moving home.
As the works were all funded by fundraising and go fund me as my son is disabled it got a lot of traction on social media. I didn’t name the thief but lots of people messaged me knowing who he was and the company he had worked for (family business)

The brother of the scammer contacted the builder, said it looked bad on his business that I was sharing it online. He would come this weekend with his family and fit the kitchen and wardrobes for us.

However it is not the design, spec or colour that we wanted - only what was in stock.

This morning I met the guys at the house and he asked me for 5 grand for the materials and to pay the guys that came to work today.
I didn’t respond just stared at him blankly.

We paid more than 5 grand in deposit. If the materials and labour cost that much then should be not take it up with his brother? Who is not missing at all but in the parents home.
By doing this work and sharing on social media it looks like they’ve done the job for free

So
AIBU - yes just pay for what you got today and deal with scammer later
No - brother should be taking some money from the thief as he knows where he is.

OP posts:

NotAnotherBloodyNameChange · 11/09/2021 15:10

I only found out this morning when he mentioned payment

Why didn’t you speak up then?

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 11/09/2021 15:13

[quote Judithand]@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles you are reading it wrong.

The fundraising is over - the adaptions are done to the home - the only part of the entire build that is not completed is the kitchen. It was booked to go in the first week of august. I had the full amount of money to pay for the kitchen, 50% deposit was requested, I paid. The guy was recommended by the builder - I trusted that.

I was trying to recoup the money as I thought that the guys today were doing the works for free to make up for the theft.

I only found out this morning when he mentioned payment[/quote]
Well your initial post said "the works were all funded by fundraising and go fund me as my son is disabled"
so I assumed that the works were all funded by fundraising

Have you actually taken any action to recoup this money? I don't know if the police would be interested as it may be a civil matter as you willingly handed over the money. I think I would be getting some legal advice, it's probably very unlikely you can recoup it but surely you have to do something? Did you get anything in writing when you handed the cash over?

I have used GoFundMe but as a donator not a person receiving donations - would you have any liability if people wanted their donations back on the basis they weren't used for the purpose intended? This would worry me.

Burnamer · 11/09/2021 15:13

OP are you ok?

Twillow · 11/09/2021 15:35

What I don't get is how you did a gofundme for a house that you're doing up to sell, regardless of disabled son?

icedcoffees · 11/09/2021 15:37

@Twillow

What I don't get is how you did a gofundme for a house that you're doing up to sell, regardless of disabled son?

Where does it say she's selling the house?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/09/2021 15:39

The guy was recommended by the builder - I trusted that

Pity, really - considering the kitchen guy was his "family friend" I very much doubt he was ignorant as to what they're like (also evidenced by him saying the fitter's "gone AWOL" when he's not)

I get that they're worried about what's gone online, but they should have thought of that before doing it, and then trying it on yet again today
Clearly they think they've got themselves a mug, so don't confirm that by paying anything until you're completely satisfied with the work

thenightsky · 11/09/2021 15:39

I only found out this morning when he mentioned payment

To which your answer should have been 'Go get the £7,250 off your brother'.

Redgeraniums · 11/09/2021 15:45

Fuck my life. Is this real.
Go to the police now.

FolornLawn · 11/09/2021 15:47

OP, this is madness. You shouldn’t be having anything to do with the scammer’s family, regardless of their ‘putting it right’ bullshit on SM.
Take the original kitchen fitter to court to get your money back. Get a kitchen from Ikea (they’re great) and get it fitted when someone is ready.
I’d be really fucked off if I’d donated money to you and you were blithely walking in to this clusterfuck.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/09/2021 15:48

@DancingBabyGoat

That’s bloody awful. No way would I give the family any more money! And definitely not cash! Pay everyone via bank transfer/ card payment when you have signed a contract for the works or once they have completed the job and invoiced you.

Have they done any work today? Have you paid him?

This ^

You could end up losing the 5 grand as well.

Take them to court.

Twillow · 11/09/2021 15:50

Yeah apologies I think I misunderstood - I think OP is having work done before they move in?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/09/2021 15:53

[quote Judithand]@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles you are reading it wrong.

I was trying to recoup the money as I thought that the guys today were doing the works for free to make up for the theft.

I only found out this morning when he mentioned payment[/quote]
He obviously wants to save his reputation by looking as though he is doing it for nothing.

Don't pay him - you accepted an offer of a gift; you didn't enter into a contract for £X,000.

Put all the details of this chancer onto your page in the same way you did re: the other.

Contact police about fitter no.1. If it isn't a criminal matter (should be - it's theft), then go to the small claims court. It's capped at £5,000 but you can represent yourself.

Rosscameasdoody · 11/09/2021 15:55

Go to the police and see if they can do anything. Surely it’s theft if he’s just walked off with your money and now you’re being asked for more.

SequinsandStiIettos · 11/09/2021 16:11

You paid a 50% deposit of £7k in cash, the total cost was £14k, and they have asked you for 5k?
So you get a 2k discount for the choice of stock not being your original order.

I would have done what you did in your shoes to recoup what I could and get moved in. It was the right call as long as you can live with the different stock because court time and costs are a pain, because stock is low due to covid, because you are in limbo, because the wait for a builder might be an age.

Hope it works out for you.

What I would do when it is all over is a comment along the lines of:

Thank you for doing what was right. I appreciate the work put in today - it was worth the 5k I paid you this afternoon. Although the kitchen ended up not being the kitchen I had originally ordered, it has cost me 12k rather than 14k, and so we are even and hopefully lessons have been learned.

Something that is not libellous but sums it up.
All the best to you OP

Iamdobby63 · 11/09/2021 16:19

Is it the same company, a family business?

Payment with this other brother should have been agreed before they started work. How many days are they working for?

Crayfishforyou · 11/09/2021 16:38

OMG
I would add this to social media, that the druggie thief has a scamming brother and people should do well to avoid them altogether.

Wegobshite · 11/09/2021 16:42

And don’t do a bank transfer
You will not get the money back if you transfer it by bank transfer
Even PayPal is a high risk for you
Credit card or cash when it’s finished
Nothing else

DismantledKing · 11/09/2021 16:45

I just don’t understand why you let them into your home today.
Some people on here! I just don’t get it.

HalzTangz · 11/09/2021 16:48

I'm a bit confused, you paid the scammer 5k upfront (50% of costs) so 50% left to pay when work complete.

Scammers family come in and completed the work and asked for remaining 50%.

Surely that's fair.

Or are they asking for 5k and won't finish job without? In that case I'd get courts involved and recover the 5k from the scammer

NavigatingAdolescence · 11/09/2021 17:04

Registered charities can only use funds for the reason stated during fundraising.

GoFundMe is not a registered charity. The OP could take all the money to Vegas and put it on red and there is nothing you can do about it. So many scams have happened on that site.

HalzTangz · 11/09/2021 17:05

But it wasn't a gift or never presented as a gift.

The brother wanted to rectify by supplying and fitting the kitchen, at no point does the OP said his Instagram said we will do this for free, she just assumed they would do for free.

From what I understand the kitchen was just shy of 15k to which she paid 7250 so far, brother asked for 5k for kitchen and fitting (and seemingly not 7250 as kitchen fitter isn't one first picked) so a 225 reduction.

All of this hasn't cost the OP anything, it was funded via go fund me.

The OP is rude to think she can get work for free by someone who is trying to rectify his errant brothers behaviour.

Even paying the 5k requested, the OP can still take the original person to court to reclaim costs (which should have been done the minute she found out he want turning up)

HalzTangz · 11/09/2021 17:09

@Crayfishforyou

OMG I would add this to social media, that the druggie thief has a scamming brother and people should do well to avoid them altogether.

His brother is t actually scamming though. The druggie brother stole 725 which was supposedly to buy the kitchen.

The brother is trying to save his own business (same surname could wreck his business for something he didn't do), he supplied a kitchen and labour and asked 5k (2250 less than what would be owed had first brother not disappeared). The brother is only asking for what he has supplied and is currently fitting.

OP can still go after the thief through courts to recoup what was taken, and as this was go fund me money, I would suggest she donated it to charity rather than pay her own loans off.

Thingsthatgo · 11/09/2021 17:21

Did he specifically say that he would complete the work for free at any point?
If you agreed to him fitting the kitchen I think you should pay him the balance due on it, provided that the work completed is of a decent standard.

simitra · 11/09/2021 17:26

I would tell the brother that you are going to "out" him and his family on the internet, social media and the press. They have already had 5 k from you and are not getting any more.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/09/2021 18:54

His brother is t actually scamming though

OP wrote "This morning I met the guys at the house and he asked me for 5 grand for the materials and to pay the guys that came to work today", which sounds to me like asking for the money upfront

If so - and bearing in mind her previous experience with this family - what was to stop the brother disappearing with that money too?

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