You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

I think most of these people just want a free trip to Oz or NZ and pretend they fancy a move there with the woman who used to be on ' pop idol'

All the people on the house programmes are typically mime artists or make ornaments from autumn leaves or something else equally obscure and in need of a studio. Yet they have £750k to spend on a house at age 25. How?

[quote Zilla1]@Unfashionable I always wondered what Iggle Piggle did when they grew up. Hadn't realised it was to become a Spanish singer.[/quote]
My iPad obviously loves dodgy Spanish crooners!

@DrCoconut

All the people on the house programmes are typically mime artists or make ornaments from autumn leaves or something else equally obscure and in need of a studio. Yet they have £750k to spend on a house at age 25. How?

Drug dealers..

And man in red uniform gets eaten by monsteroony the minute he's beamed down!

Don't forget sexual tension between Kirk and a sexy alien female wearing very little in terms of clothing but lots of eyeshadow.

House.

You have something wrong with you, nobody knows what ... Hang on, you have two unrelated things wrong with you at the same time...I'm a genius...where are my pain meds. Repeat for 5 seasons.

Also Masterchef.

Woman from an ethnic minority cooks the food she has been taught from four generations of women before her.

Jonty then tells her in as many mispronounced words as possible (including the ones from her home language) that she doesn't understand that type of food.

White man cooks food from same region. Well, he says he does, but it's largely generic spiced food with a fuckton of chilli.

Jonty waxes almost as much as his by then sweating (possibly melting) face about how White Man has got it absolutely right.

Big eyed, elfin faced woman in her twenties has a bash at anything. Gregg goes on about how well she's done whilst surreptitiously pushing the plate over to Jonty because it tastes like shit and the chicken could quite possibly be revived with the attentions of a vet. Jonty then goes on about how almost perfect it is.

Masterchef

Greg is a thundercunt

the end

Greg n John never agree do they ?
Ever

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Also Masterchef.

Woman from an ethnic minority cooks the food she has been taught from four generations of women before her.

Jonty then tells her in as many mispronounced words as possible (including the ones from her home language) that she doesn't understand that type of food.

White man cooks food from same region. Well, he says he does, but it's largely generic spiced food with a fuckton of chilli.

Jonty waxes almost as much as his by then sweating (possibly melting) face about how White Man has got it absolutely right.

Big eyed, elfin faced woman in her twenties has a bash at anything. Gregg goes on about how well she's done whilst surreptitiously pushing the plate over to Jonty because it tastes like shit and the chicken could quite possibly be revived with the attentions of a vet. Jonty then goes on about how almost perfect it is.

Then Gregg and Jonty share a secret smile.

"Yep, I'd do her too" passes wordlessly between them.

Oh yes, we know Gregg n John are marking more than the soufflé.

@Bloodylovecheese hahaha we always say this about kitchen nightmares but I can watch it for hours 😂

This is such a funny thread

Rescue mediums. No one but me seems to have heard of it but it was on my netflix for a while.

2 yorkshire women, Alison and Jackie, are in some sort of interesting transport on their way to an unknown location to help family x who are experiencing hauntings. Cut to family members saying what theyve experienced. The narrator continues: Days previously the mediums had some EERIE PREMONITIONS. They tell each other what theyve seen while the other listens with pursed lips. "A man in uniform" "a feeling of being watched" "the name james".
Now we see the mediums arrive at the home and they tell the homeowners their premonitions. The homeowners usually exchange glances and smile. Then the mediums do their observations. They usually feel a spirit or hear or see something. They surround said thing with light and then open the door and watch the person be collected by spirits they knew in their former lives.

Then they sit down with the homeowners and present their research on who they rescued. Usually some immigrant from Ireland who came to Canada in the C19 and suffered some sort of terrible tragedy.

Then they leave, all smiles but finish off with a drink and some awful pun about spirits.

All of that in 20 minutes. Brilliant telly!

'Rescue mediums ' sounds wonderful !

Supernanny. Film of children behaving appallingly running amok when they go out, refusing to go to sleep at night. Parents utterly knackered. Supernanny tutts at the film, goes in, shoves up a star chart, shows them how to do the Naughty Chair, tells them not to talk to the kids after bedtime. Supernanny goes away, parents struggle a bit but eventually manage to implement her routine, Supernanny goes back and praises them, they praise Supernanny, children are miraculously converted into little angels and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except we all know that within a week everything reverted to exactly the same as before, and the parents spend the fee they earned on several bottles of gin.

@HesterShaw1

Grand Designs. Couple design some state of the art residence full of sustainable energy technology on a hilariously unrealistic budget. Kevin delivers whispered warnings to camera just before ad break. Specially engineered glass from Germany fails to arrive and when it does it doesn't fit - just. Woman gets pregnant and thereby the race is on to get moved in by Christmas (FFS is Kevin actually impregnating these women?). A catastrophically awful winter ensues with waist deep floods on site, and in the latter series there's a countdown clock to when you, the viewer, know that Covid is about to strike and you're shouting at the telly "Hurry UP! Covid is coming!". They move in and make the inside beautiful, and Kevin delivers his closing homily about the transformative power and beauty of great architecure.

If Kevin is impregnating them I need to pretend to be building a house and get on the show. Not that I can get pregnant these days but he is one of my many TV husbands.

I've seen the pregnancy thing on so many house building/renovating/oops we've destroyed it shows. Does cement and grouting make people horny* or something?!

*I can't believe I just used that word. I couldn't think of another and now I've done a bit of ick sick in my mouth.

@ifIwerenotanandroid my Mum and I were having great fun heckling A Place in the Sun couples recently, but we did high-five when a lovely couple had their bid accepted for a totally reasonable little place!

I have a massive crush on Columbo so that’s always a winner…

*Gregg shares one of his sexual fantasies involving puddings.

That is a LAVVERLY plata food!*

Not sure whether to laugh or vomit

Every garden makeover programme - couple have a completely shit looking garden which they look at in complete surprise as if it just did that by itself overnight. Professional gardeners move in and work hard on it, spend loads of money, put lots of lovely things in it so it looks nice. The couple come back for big reveal where they can't believe the garden now looks nice. Everyone agrees it's an amazing miracle and no one can believe how a shit load of money and hard work can make a difference.

The one who was a ' dog whisperer' was funny.,
People have over indulged their dogs so much they can't actually walk anymore , bite everyone and have their owners penned in the kitchen while they run around terrorizing post men and barking non stop
Dog whisperer woman tells them who is boss and puts dog on a diet as well as rescuing the owners out of the kitchen.
Dog loses weight and behaves. Owners grin at how badly they treated their ' furry baby' and promise to not let dog rule the roost anymore.
Dog whisperer woman goes on this morning.

I can't stop laughing at this thread. Absolutely brilliant Friday early evening entertainment. 🤣

Wanted down Under everytime. Couple who live in a bijou two bed UK terrace want to emigrate, well one wants to more than the other. This is because he is convinced that they can exchange the two bed for a better quality of life in a five bed detached house with swimming pool near to the beach for a similar price. They become tearful and outraged when property is priced similarly to the UK.

Its the same thing each time. When they compare budgets, they suddenly find they are £1500 better off a month in Aus.

Many programmes follow a format but for some reason, this really annoys me.

You do realise he is just 'Iggle' to his friends? You don't need to be formal.

Iggle is Ignatius.

Iglesias is the Spanish cousin who doesn't accept contractions to his name.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Also Masterchef.

Woman from an ethnic minority cooks the food she has been taught from four generations of women before her.

Jonty then tells her in as many mispronounced words as possible (including the ones from her home language) that she doesn't understand that type of food.

White man cooks food from same region. Well, he says he does, but it's largely generic spiced food with a fuckton of chilli.

Jonty waxes almost as much as his by then sweating (possibly melting) face about how White Man has got it absolutely right.

Big eyed, elfin faced woman in her twenties has a bash at anything. Gregg goes on about how well she's done whilst surreptitiously pushing the plate over to Jonty because it tastes like shit and the chicken could quite possibly be revived with the attentions of a vet. Jonty then goes on about how almost perfect it is.

Then there's the bit where Jonty cooks something and Gregg practically has an orgasm about how delicious it is. Just once I want him to say "Sorry, but that's pretty revolting, really".

And the bit where someone totally fucks up in two rounds but in the last round cooks something more or less edible and gets through, whilst the one who has a perfect two first rounds produces something with one minor error in the last round gets chucked out.