You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

They always prefer the ' non branded ' food item to the branded one don't they ? Que embarrassed teens saying ' I like this one' and the presenter saying they saved ' 200 pounds a year ' buying the non branded ones
It's that intense.

@Mamette yes to grand designs. It always takes longer and costs more than they planned. The weather is always shit before the roof is on. Something huge usually gets broken....

Border Force Australia.

Despite massive posters and filling in a card in their own language passenger will be stopped for carrying in tea/ cooked chicken/ dried fish/ raw ginger. Passenger will issued with a fine, then get angry/ cry.

Cocky Brit/ American/ Aussie bloke will be found in possession of knuckle dusters/ porn/ laser lights. Will remain cocky until they are all confiscated and he is issued with a fine.

Passenger will deny even knowing the names of any drugs until the swap test shows traces of meth amphetamine/ LSD/ heroin. Passenger will then admit to have been near to people who have used it, and then eventually admit to have used it themselves recently. X rays show drugs hidden in shoe/ base of case.

Come dine with me.Theres always a quirky one that pisses everyone off or who they make fun of.

[quote FlatteredFool]@Youdoyoutoday You obviously haven't paid attention to the lovely lieutenant Columbo as the opening scenes always show the murderer and murdered so we know exactly who did it but the fun is in watching Columbo figure out the exact how and why. There's usually one small thing that tips him off. It's a Sunday afternoon joy to behold. Especially when poorly and lazing on the sofa. I'll always have a place in my crime drama loving heart for Columbo. [/quote]
Yes but why? It's so bad!

The endless recaps are annoying on all these shows,
I only watched it five minutes before the ads, I do remember what I was watching back then ..

I hate the recaps on location location location. It's the same every time. They show 3/4 of the original programme and then have a 5 min section where Phil goes back 2 years later where the couple have had one baby and are expecting another, they have tastefully redecorated the nursery and have now got a dog.

Casualty.

Some people are seen somewhere that isn't a hospital. They say something to each other. Often they shout. Other times, there is tension for a reason that isn't yet spelled out. At least one of them is a well-known actor pretending to be an ordinary person. In the background there is an obvious hazard, or alternatively one of them mentions something that any sane person would recognise as a possible sign of serious illness. These people are not sane and they are oblivious to the danger at hand.

Cut to the A&E department of the local hospital. Improbably, all the staff have lots of time to chat and at least two at any given time are having an affair. Another one is doing something that when discovered will result in them being sacked and struck off their professional register.

Cut back to the 'ordinary' people. One of them does something insanely stupid and suffers life-threatening injuries, or alternatively one of them collapses.

Cut to the A&E department. Life-saving treatment administered. At least one staff member finds time for a long heart to heart with either the patient or a member of the patient's family. Their pre-existing problem becomes clear. The staff member gives them sage advice which enables them to move forward.

The personal problems between the staff are not resolved.

The end.

Every single week.

@spiderlight

New Amsterdam: An Issue arises in the hospital, probably to do with somebody's Rights. Max makes a series of sincere faces and asks 'How can I help?' Another Issue arises, apparently independently. Max has a lightbulb moment about how to solve both Issues using a radical and expensive plan that would, in the real world, involve months of consultations and paperwork. The hospital administrator runs away from Max in the corridor to a soundtrack of jazz drumming. Max ploughs ahead with the plan regardless, pulls together a team of random volunteers/builders/funders from thin air, and rewrites the entire hospital policy in ten minutes. The Issue is magically resolved. Max looks on, through a window, making sincere faces again. Heartwarming music. The end.

Is he cured yet? I gave up early on!

Masterchef

COOKING DOESN’T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS!

Rack of lamb
Jus
Scallops
Monkfish
Lovely metallic basil!

John listens to a contestant’s plans and frowns.

Gregg says, “I’m worried, John”.

TIME’S UP!

John tries to shovel a gigantic forkful of food into his mouth.

Gregg shares one of his sexual fantasies involving puddings.

That is a LAVVERLY plata food!

A contestant is sent home. They cry.

Preview of next week: COOKING DOESN’T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS!

Heir Hunters.

Elderly Fred dies with no known relatives and no will. Neighbours / care home staff express some platitudes about Fred.

Someone from Frasers uses the wonders of Ancestry.com to track down some possible relatives. They order the birth / marriage / death certificates to check.

They follow the rules of intestacy to work out who might inherit.

They then travel to knock on the door of the distant relatives.

Distant relative signs some paperwork, then pretends to look sad at the loss of someone they neither knew nor cared about when they were alive, while silently trying to decide whether to spend Fred's £20k on a new conservatory or a fancy car.

Wanted down under ..
The bit where they show Auntie Jean crying on tape is the worst. They still go there though !

@JovialNickname spot on! I binge watched loads while recovering from an op

@traintraveller

A place in the sun

I won't hear a word against it.

It's become a Saturday afternoon tradition in our house, since lockdown. We started ordering gooey cakes as a treat, so when the supermarket order is all put away, DH & I sit down with back-to-back 'A Place in the Sun', cream cakes & tea & coffee & relax while loudly deriding the house-buyers, the agent & the properties.

I don't know why, but it really works for us.

Escape to the Country
2 London divorcees find love together in their 50s.
They want to buy a place together where all their families can visit.
Janet is a dab hand at Sunday lunch (using everything ready prepared from Marks and Spencer) so needs a BIG Country kitchen.
Geoff needs an outbuilding for his Classic car.
Janet and Geoff want a smallholding even though they're not really sure what that is.
They intend to grow their own veg and raise llamas.

House must be on the edge of a village large enough to have a shop and a decent pub.
House must have views over open fields

All the gorgeous houses they are shown are too small.

End voiceover
"Janet and Geoff are still looking in Dorset but are also considering Yorkshire"

[quote Zilla1]@WorriedWishingWell does the documentary mention the manager in the background who makes more money than any band member and takes the blame for all the evil, money-making decisions?[/quote]
How could I have forgotten the evil manager?

@Cattenberg

Masterchef

COOKING DOESN’T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS!

Rack of lamb
Jus
Scallops
Monkfish
Lovely metallic basil!

John listens to a contestant’s plans and frowns.

Gregg says, “I’m worried, John”.

TIME’S UP!

John tries to shovel a gigantic forkful of food into his mouth.

Gregg shares one of his sexual fantasies involving puddings.

That is a LAVVERLY plata food!

A contestant is sent home. They cry.

Preview of next week: COOKING DOESN’T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS!

😆. And that’s why I love that show.

Below Deck Mediterranean- crew contemplate getting off with each other, one of the stews is very loud, one of the deckhands is very lazy, guests are very rich and very entitled and ask the impossible, chef has a strop in the kitchen, the tip isn't as much as they hoped for, crew get drunk on their night off and argue, the slide is a nightmare to get out and put away and they do a lot of cleaning, Captain Sandy keeps her temper and is the voice of calm and reason and can reverse park a mega yacht into a tiny space. And there is an odd fixation with the anchor chain...

@Unfashionable

In the Night Garden. Iglesias Piggle goes to bed. The end.

I know that some episodes are different, but it feels like there's only about 4 that are repeated continuously. I can't really tell the difference.

Jane McDonald on her far flung expensive cruises make me want to actually punch the tv in. She has to be the most self absorbed individual on the planet ; you can see her eyes glaze over if someone speaks and it's not about her .,

Gordon Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares
Is this fresh or frozen?
Fresh
They lied

Is this freshly made?
Yes today
They lied

What food should I avoid?
...(insert dish)...
I'll have that then

Bland food?
Cold food?
Raw food?
Tick tick tick

Dusty tatty furniture?
Tick
Renew furniture and signage?
Tick

And on and on

Re Masterchef - They need to be careful not to OVER cook that monkfish, John. Nobody wants...

Well, that's the point of the word over. See also Too Much

If he puts too much chilli in, it'll overpower the fish.

Well, yes.

Just shut up!

@Bananarama101 unless it's the one with the little peg families. I hated those little peggy t##ts

Greg Wallace is the most annoying presenter after Phil and Holly and Steve Wright
In fact, this morning , would anyone notice if they just put repeats on each day ? It's the same old same old everyday anyway.
Steve Wright should just retire.. another same old show everyday too.

Relocation, relocation, whether it be New Zealand or Australia it’s always the same, couple with a few kids wants to move (normally it’s just one of the couple who actually wants to move) they spend a week: looking at houses that are over budget or ones that are in budget but not what they wanted but always fall in love with one anyway, being told they are so employable and how much extra money they can make there but chances are they never would, and how expensive groceries are. Then at the end they all say they want to move how amazing life would be, update happens: didn’t move 😂

Naked Attraction.

-Presenter asks “do you like bums?” Contestant replies they do indeed like bums
-Contestants are asked to “give us a wiggle”

• contestant is shocked to see a circumcised man
• no pubic hair on anyone. Shock and horror at the very rare one who isn’t fully waxed. The pubed ones are always voted off first
• contestants who aren't picked throw dagger eyes and then snap “it’s their loss” when off the set and redressed
• the date between the “winners” (although let’s be honest, there are no winners on this show) is awkward and the 2 people look like they wish they were anywhere but there
• when asked to come back to the studio a month later to talk about their date, the woman is told “I’m sorry but insert mans name hasn’t turned up.” Woman rolls her eyes and snaps “it’s his loss”