You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

I feel they should give a more realistic impression by making all participants travel during an Aussie heatwave. They’ll be BEGGING to come home to the drizzly grey weather

Brilliant idea, especially for the ones who are blatantly only doing it for the free holiday in Oz.

Sarah Beenie's Renovate don't Relocate. Steps into her barn with the big projector screen "but will they be expecting this?" Well I bloody hope so Sarah as they've applied to the third series of the show.
Cue some obscenely busy wallpaper which the woman fawns over while the man sits there looking horrified.

Kevin McCloud doing anything = woman ending up pregnant. Known in this house as the McCloud Master Race.

Has anyone else seen the gordon ramsay one where he has 24 hours to turn around a shit restaurant? (Restrunt!) he puts on a prosthetic nose and fake beard and goes in disguise.....so they wont know its "chef Ramsay"....but I'm sure the budget only extends to one fake beard and 2 outfits - he looks the same every time!🤣

Any football match

Homes Under The Hammer

Buy shit hole in agonising auction cliffhanger
Tart it up on the cheap whilst critiqued by the hosts whispering their mortal doubts to camera
Bring in some local estate agent johnnies
Find price of property is, despite expectations of retirement plan featuring yachts, bang on local Rightmove/Zoopla estimates
End

Everybody Loves Raymond is the same episode replayed.

Ray goes golfing.
Deborah is mad at Ray for going golfing.
Robert complains how Ray has it all.
Marie criticises Deborahs cooking and cleaning.
Frank loosens his pants.
The kids run through the house screaming.
The script must include at least 10 references to Italian food (bonus points for Ma's cannoli).

And that's it that's every episode

@Cakey46

Celebrity Antiques Roadtrip. Celeb buys granny junk from quaint antique shop at half ticket price then sells at an auction for a tenth of ticket price.

I've never really understood this one. You buy an antique in a shop at a retail price then take it to an auction which will be full of dealers who are only interested in paying a price which will give them a profit so will almost always be lower than what was paid. At the end of the day you've just transferred the antique from one shop to another. What's the point?

Money for Nothing: lurk creepily at local tip; pick up either completely rubbish item that should have been tipped years ago or decent item that should have gone to a charity shop; turn it into a lamp it's always a bloody lamp ; sell it online to mates for stupidly inflated price.

Homes Under the Hammer: if it's Dion, then you can bet that he'll recommend knocking through the kitchen into the dining room to create one huge room. Some of us actually like a kitchen we can close off!

@the80sweregreat

Completely agree re Steve Wright on “The Big Show.” He can get some good guests to interview but then gives them 90 seconds to sell their latest work. Tim is taking a chunk of the licence fee for doing not very much each day. If he tells me once more there’s no fucking G in serious jockin’ I’m going to that London to smack him.

The Weather on Local TV News

Happy, smiling, photogenic-but-shallow weathergirl clenches her teeth and tries to remain professional as she thinks of how her dream career in TV has come to this.

She shows a picture of a cloud. Says it's called a cloud. Then says it will get colder toninght but warm up in the morning. Back to you, Sally.

The DJ Steve Wright caused me to have a melt down on Monday as dh turned it on and he started singing over the end of a Beatles track he then said was ' great ' ( well , if he shut up singing , it would be)
I wished he would fuckin ' well fuck off ( no g )
and retire gracefully!
And he gets paid 450,000 a year to sing over the songs too.
My loathing knows no bounds I'm afraid and I am a mild sort of person , generally speaking

@SchadenfreudePersonified
Please, please let them make that show!

It always astonished me how many times Kim Bauer could get kidnapped in 24.

@viques

Only Connect

Two teams of Pub Quiz bores are asked questions by a woman who unfortunately writes her own jokes .

I don't think you can count quiz shows. Of course they follow the same format, they're not trying to tell any sort of story which always turns out to be the same, which is what this thread is really about.

@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue

Money for Nothing: lurk creepily at local tip; pick up either completely rubbish item that should have been tipped years ago or decent item that should have gone to a charity shop; turn it into a lamp it's always a bloody lamp ; sell it online to mates for stupidly inflated price.

Homes Under the Hammer: if it's Dion, then you can bet that he'll recommend knocking through the kitchen into the dining room to create one huge room. Some of us actually like a kitchen we can close off!

Is that the one where perfect Sarah asks them if she can take away something in their boot.

I long to hear " no you can't so go away". and for a craftsman to say why have you brought me this rubbish

@Droite

Afraid I don’t agree with you, take Grand Designs for example, the outcomes are not always the same.

Sometimes they have triple thickness metal framed floor to ceiling sliding doors and window frames made at huge expense in Germany. Other times they have chiselled stone window surrounds with individually crafted oak window frames made by a bespoke carpenter in Devon.

@Piglet89

The Barefoot Contessa on food network.

“My gorgeous flower arranger friends Mark and Bob’s dog Mike is having his sixth birthday, so we’re all celebrating in my amazing house with a meal composed mainly of butter and other Hamptons farmers’ market produce. I’ve also made an Italian ragu with a lovely wine - just something you would drink. And my other friend Gerard is doing spectacular table settings”.

And Jeffery's gonna be delighted!

New Changing Rooms

LLB creates something a bit of the wall, but overall quite tasteful, with some genuinely lovely artwork.

Other pair create some monstrosity that no one in their right mind could ever live with. Both rooms have been stripped of any personal items - changing rooms contestants are not allowed to have photos of their family or any reflections of their own tastes, hobbies or style in the rooms they will be living it.

Homeowners pretend to be delighted with the end results. Presenter makes lots of 'jokes' heavy with innuendo.

Celebrity SAS :
Z list Celeb ' I can do this '
Ant bloke ' your rubbish mate , off you trot '
Until we are left with one.

@JaySmith71

@the80sweregreat god yes, Steve Wright in the Afternoo-hoon can fuck right off with his obnoxious persona and ruining of songs (by singing over them)

WHY does he still have the radio slot? Why?

He’s the worst DJ I know, I always switch static when he is on (does he have that impersonator as well? Is that the same show? Dire )

Marlene, I actually started shouting at the radio on Monday , properly lost my rag with the beardy one.
Fact oids segment ' the earth goes round the sun ' , who knew?
Dh put it on knowing I hate the SW show.
He soon turned it off

Friends

So predictable I could have written the script

Flip or flop

Tarek rings Cristina. They buy house unseen.

Geoff the contractor meets them there. There's a bad smell & a leak.

They knock walls.

Oh but it was load bearing. That's going to impact the budget. They might not make money on this flip.

But it's a noice neighbourhood so they spend $30k on the yard installing a fire pit.

They stage the house in the exact same style.

They sell & make $165k profit.

They have never flopped

Happy, smiling, photogenic-but-shallow weathergirl clenches her teeth and tries to remain professional as she thinks of how her dream career in TV has come to this.

I think this is a little unfair, don’t weather presenters have to have some kind of qualification in meteorology?

Top Gear/The Grand Tour

There are some cars.
James drives his car slowly. Jeremy and Richard mock him.
Jeremy makes clever remarks about his car. Richard and James mock him.
Richard crashes his car. Jeremy and James mock him and call an ambulance.

They all go abroad in the cars. One of the cars will break and the other two will laugh and not help out. The cars are modified and/or have to pull caravans. Scenery is driven through. Someone gets wet. Richard crashes his car again.

They all mock each other.

The end.