You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

The waltons

Iglesias Piggle

My husband genuinely thought Iggle Piggle was called Ego Diego.

@Spidey66

The news NHS in a bad way Education in a bad way Worldwide pandemic War somewhere in the world Politician or world leader is being shady and /or hypocritical A celebrity has died The weather is shit A football team has won a match/league/tournament

the news 😁.

What about Rich house. Poor House?

Look at this big house, Self made honest people
look at this tiny house, Down on their luck honest people
Wow lots of cash, let’s get a takeaway
Ooh a handful of coins, let’s go to the expensive corner shop and eat beans
Meet her caring manicured mum,
Meet his Salt of the earth mates down the pub

Rich one Has an epiphany, promises to spend less time at work and more at home
Poor one waits for a new sofa and a patronising leg up.

...rinse and repeat.

Supersize v super skinny :
Both go on a ' journey ' of self discovery to the weighing scales
One loses the weight
One puts it on
Fin

Grand Designs

Love the idea above of Kevin McCloud being responsible for all the pregnancies. One day, one of these poor women will got fed up with living in a caravan in mum's garden while she waits for the wattle and daub roof on the passive emissions cave in the side of a disused quarry, run off with Kevin and live in an actual fucking house.

Saved and remade

Angela from Kidderminster has brought in her grandma's hideous old sideboard which she clearly hates 'can't bear to part with.' Much wringing of hands and sorrowful gurning as she reveals heartwarming backstory about Granny who arrived from Slovenia with nothing to her name apart from said sideboard in 1923. Angela reveals she is downsizing and while she is hoping it perishes in a mysterious house fire wants to take it with her, she needs it turned into something more useful and preferably smaller.

Dead-behind-the-eyes Daisy and Actually-extremely-talented Shelley are wheeled out to present their ( always worryingly poor) sketches of their creative vision.

Daisy: "I think I'll basically leave it exactly like it is but possibly insert a pointless piece of Perspex somewhere, making it twice the size, and then paint it in shimmery metallic lilac paint, which will be so inexpertly rendered that the whole thing will look like a six year old's fever dream."

Angela: ( nodding solemnly) "Mmmmhmmph?"

Shelley: "I will actually listen to the brief and present a sensitive reworking of your clearly tyrannical much loved Granny's sideboard, using all original features in quirky and imaginative ways, including hidden drawers, inlaid marquetry and ancient rosewood we've had shipped in from Slovenia to create a small easy to put in the loft and forget about memory box."

Angela: "Oh that's lovely."

Rictus faced presenter: "So, Angela, which one will you go for?"

Me and DH: "Shell-ey! Shell-ey! Shell-ey!"

Angela: "Daisy please."

Cue many cut aways of Daisy labouring over the sideboard, shonky use of jigsaws, inexpert sanding, no priming whatsoever, visible wood glue and vats of lilac paint before Angela is wheeled back in to gape open mouthed at the monstrosity she agreed to because she was so high on green room sherry at the time she thought she was on Bargain Hunt.

Rictus faced presenter encourages Angela to share her feelings about her new heirloom which are clearly 90% How The Fuck Am I Going To Get This Back To Kidderminster and 10% I Really Hope There's More Sherry. Daisy stands next to the item, discreetly propping it up because she's cut one leg shorter than the other, whilst accepting simpering platitudes about her "genius".

FIN.

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@Jaysmith71

Grand Designs

Love the idea above of Kevin McCloud being responsible for all the pregnancies. One day, one of these poor women will got fed up with living in a caravan in mum's garden while she waits for the wattle and daub roof on the passive emissions cave in the side of a disused quarry, run off with Kevin and live in an actual fucking house.

And why oh mumsnet is grand design Always driven by a man? Where is the ideal woman’s house with a huge massage table and an automated manservant.

The Repair shop
Bit of a story behind the accordion brought in wrapped in an old blanket.

They repair it to its former glory.
People go home very happy
It is a great show and I love Will so much, but once you've seen one you have seen the others.

@the80sweregreat
Supersize v super skinny :
Both go on a ' journey ' of self discovery to the weighing scales
One loses the weight
One puts it on
Fin

When they meet again after 6 weeks they both look almost the same but have got better clothes, but pretend to be amazed at how the other one looks.

Sometimes they do some unneccessary twirling.

The presenter tells the supersize one they have lost 2 stone and 10" but they still look the same

Then he tells the super skinny one they have put on 2lbs and 1" and they still look the same

Escape To The Chateau DIY
Dick and Angel explain how to paint a chair to Mike and Barbara from Sheffield as they bought a £750,000 chateau because they watch Dick and Angel do it years ago and thought they could do the same.
They paint the chair and declare that now they can put it in a room and charge guests £1000 a night more than before.
Angel goes home and finds a nicer chair in her attic and paints it better than the first one.

Naked Attraction. Here are six almost identical willies to choose from. One might be a different race and one is circumcised. Teehee I’m such a cool and hilarious presenter. Now here are the vaginas. One has a large leg tattoo that you’ll either love or hate. In a controversial move, this lady has three wispy pubes. Take your pick.

Dinner Dates - choose between three identical people in bland new build flats in uninspiring dockyard city centre developments. Each menu is a halloumi starter, steak and chips, and a tiramisu. The losers will eat their ready meals and go on about how much they hated you anyway despite chasing you for the last half hour. You’ll feel a magical connection with the winner and then the end credits will come up saying you never saw each other again.

Supersize etc
Id forgotten that they meet up after a make over with Gok wan !!
The skinny one will continue to eat haribo all day and the bigger one will buy less takeaways and everyone will forget about them both forever.

Four in a Bed - here’s a boomer couple called Mike and Carol with a seaside B&B, a weird older couple who own a hippyish country retreat where you can get a uterus massage, an adorable gay couple who own a slightly cheesy themed hotel, and some dickhead brothers who own a massive shithole hotel where they mostly cater for stag dos and charge for towels.

About 90% of the episode is them trying to find a pube in their competitor’s hotel.

Celebrity Antiques Roadtrip. Celeb buys granny junk from quaint antique shop at half ticket price then sells at an auction for a tenth of ticket price.

Brilliant thread everyone. Well done.

What's that ridiculous program where they go to a tip in Dudley/Scarborough/Bexhill and root through people's old crap before deciding they can definitely upcycle a knackered old garden bench. Two bearded blokes who like craft ale spend £300 doing up said garden bench, sell it for £320, the chap off the repair shop drops £20 round to unsuspecting Steve/Sandra who can't believe anyone could be fucked to do anything with that bench. They use the £20 to buy some beer/garden ornaments/donate to the food bank, still in disbelief.

There's always a ' celebrity ' version of these shows isn't there ? Because we really love H from Steps and his antiques.
Apart from naked attraction oddly enough ..

I can't stop giggling at Iglesias Piggle. Thanks for cheering me up!

I did watch someone actually jump out from behind a skip at the dump and really startle the poor unsuspecting person into heart attack mode trying to get shot of the old chair he had been meaning to dump for years , on one of these 'up-cycle ' your old shit shows
His face when she told him not to put in the skip because it had ' potential ' he looked crushed and then had to pretend he liked the new look chair they eventually sold on for a fiver.
It was a complete waste of half hour although the one doing the up cycling was very happy in her massive workshop

@DedalusBloom...lol.......genius !!

@Jaysmith71

The National Television Awards Thing

.....and the winner is ........Ant & Dec. Again. For the twentieth year running. But nobody knows why.

Oh god, this. Even that year when Ant was otherwise engaged. What does Graham Norton have to do to win it?!

Why do the escape to the country type ones always imagine that they will morph into Alan Titchmarsh and Delia Smith when they really hadn't given a thought to either activity at any time previously?
It's a mystery

Gino, Tino and Benny do Tuscany.

Gino is gifted a car with some quirky features eg its red.

Him and his mates travel round stunningly beautiful locations and stumble across Maria the peasant who is making stew.
Tino enthuses over stew, Benny happens across an antique and Gino tries his hand at sausage making.

The rest of us mugs sit in the rain and shop at Aldi.

Celebs going to places to upset the locals is becoming a thing now isn't it?
Roman kemp and his dad
Sarah and Paul Merton in their luxury motor home
Bradley Walsh and Barney
Fern Britten 'sourcing ' some old pagan types in Cornwall and going on about her own mansion in Padstow
Ramsey and the other two having a laugh somewhere really lovely with one of them getting the speedos on
I blame Top Gear who did the whole 'lads having a ball ' thing first.
It is being swamped now.

Contraversial but here here goes.....Motherland.

Woman lives in huge , gorgeous house opens bottle of wine.
Kevin is worried. They open bottle of wine together
Posh one opens a shop. They drink some wine.
Black one is parachuted in . They drink some wine.

Schitts Creek.
Engaging theme music subsides. Moira wears crazy outfit. Jocelyn and her ugly husband turn up at the cafe. David flounces. Alexa indecisive. Eyebrows. Engaging theme music again.