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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to the pub with my newborn?

70 replies

PurpleCurtain · 09/09/2021 19:43

I'm part of a new mum group who like to try to meet up every few days, which I really appreciate but they seem to keep suggesting we meet up at pubs, usually outside in beer gardens so that there is enough space for us all. Am I being unreasonable to suggest there must be more appropriate places for us to meet up? For one I'd rather not surround my baby with smokers (who I fully understand are entitled to smoke in beer gardens) and often even sitting inside you can smell the smoke... and even without any smoke I'm not sure they are an environment designed to cater for babies. Is it reasonable to be taking a bunch of newborns to the pub?

OP posts:
Calvinlookingforhobbes · 09/09/2021 19:44

Garden centres?

Vaselike · 09/09/2021 19:44

I get when you’re coming from but several mums with buggies take up a lot of space in ordinary cafes. Can you suggest somewhere that would work?

(Fwiw we met in a cafe inside a church, a covered outdoor cafe in the warmer months, as well as pub gardens)

TakeYourFinalPosition · 09/09/2021 19:46

I’d quite like to meet with babies in pub gardens! Outside, tend to be big spaces… it’s not common for people to be smoking in gardens where I am though.

Buttons294749 · 09/09/2021 19:46

🤣🤣🤣 you're a new mum and that's fine but you will laugh at this in years to come. Fair enough don't sit near smokers but there are plenty of places away from them. My advice is to make the most of it as in 3 years you'll be chasing a rampant toddler round soft play (where there is a desperate need for wine!)

moita · 09/09/2021 19:56

Yes if course you could suggest somewhere else but DH would often spend the afternoon in a pub garden with DS snoozing happily. I'd have a small glass of wine and DH would have a couple of pints - we'd sit well away from smokers.

Hard to do when they're on the move

moita · 09/09/2021 19:57

Sorry *DH and I

liveforsummer · 09/09/2021 19:57

If it's a family friendly pub it's perfectly well designed to cater for babies.

Moelwynbach · 09/09/2021 19:59

I used to love a beer while baby was in a sling.

OrangeTortoise · 09/09/2021 19:59

As others have said, it depends what the other options are locally. You need plenty of space for buggies etc. If you can think of alternatives to suggest I'm sure that would be fine.

MurielSpriggs · 09/09/2021 19:59

If you don't like smokers (Hmm) sit indoors. If you like being outdoors you will find people are allowed to smoke outdoors wherever you go.

LabStan · 09/09/2021 20:00

PFB.....Soon you'll make any excuse not to cook and to go to the pub for dinner so you can gave a cheeky midweek glass of wine !!!

WheelieBinPrincess · 09/09/2021 20:00

Ooh I am looking forward to going to the pub with the baby actually- and being able to have a decent glass of wine and not a fun-sponge soft drink.

Milkbottlelegs · 09/09/2021 20:03

I would have given my right arm to be able to go to the pub during my last mat leave!

Shirleyphallus · 09/09/2021 20:03

Do you ever suggest a place to meet and organise stuff or are you one of these people who let everyone else organise stuff and then just moan about it?

Original poster
PurpleCurtain · 09/09/2021 20:03

I would be happy to suggest meeting at my house to be honest, but I'm not sure I'd want that every single time! I guess not all pubs and beer gardens are made equal - some it may be easy to stay clear of smokers, but several round here seem to have a designated smoking area right next their larger outdoor tables that we'd need to use.

OP posts:
moita · 09/09/2021 20:04

I know it depends on the pub but so many are family friendly now: they've got to be to stay afloat. There's certainly cafes near me that are not child friendly: no room for buggies etc but our local pub has crayons on each table and a brilliant climbing frame, not to mention plenty of space for prams

DappledThings · 09/09/2021 20:07

Make the most of it! A pint with some friends while the babies are small enough not to try to escape or need entertaining the entire time is something you don't get a big window to enjoy.

quitefranklyabsurd · 09/09/2021 20:08

Totally depends on the pub. We have a couple that happily host parent and baby groups because they welcome the alternative daytime trade.

Original poster
PurpleCurtain · 09/09/2021 20:11

The suggesting role seems to be a bit of a rotating one so I'm preparing for my turn! I guess keen to hear if others do meet up with mum friends at pubs even with teeny babies. I'm not complaining about pubs work or suggesting smokers shouldnt be able to smoke (and it's not just about smoking anyway, I just find it odd that they are the default choice when not all pubs seem happy to have kids on premises anyway!).

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 09/09/2021 20:11

Am I being unreasonable to suggest there must be more appropriate places for us to meet up?

Yes. Don't go to their meet-up in the pub if you don't want to, feel free to arrange something else - but don't say that their choice is inappropriate, especially when you don't seem to have any concrete better ideas!

Milkbottlelegs · 09/09/2021 20:15

@PurpleCurtain

The suggesting role seems to be a bit of a rotating one so I'm preparing for my turn! I guess keen to hear if others do meet up with mum friends at pubs even with teeny babies. I'm not complaining about pubs work or suggesting smokers shouldnt be able to smoke (and it's not just about smoking anyway, I just find it odd that they are the default choice when not all pubs seem happy to have kids on premises anyway!).
Lots of pubs are still (and some always were) quiet in the day. And newborns are a lot less trouble than toddlers and older in a pub. Honestly a group of mums with their newborns are decent day time customers for lots of pubs.
Mantlemoose · 09/09/2021 20:16

I wouldn't but then I think pubs are entirely inappropriate to take kids to - inside or out.

WheelieBinPrincess · 09/09/2021 20:22

@Mantlemoose why is that?

Original poster
PurpleCurtain · 09/09/2021 20:23

I'd like to meet up with them (and I'd like to take advantage of being able to enjoy a glass of wine!), I guess I just have different comfort levels to them when it comes to e.g. how far away from the smoking area I'd be happy to sit, or how close to particularly drunken punters.

OP posts:
thecognoscenti · 09/09/2021 20:24

Smelling smoke when you're outside or sitting near people who are drinking won't harm your baby.