To not want to go to the pub with my newborn?

[PurpleCurtain]

I'm part of a new mum group who like to try to meet up every few days, which I really appreciate but they seem to keep suggesting we meet up at pubs, usually outside in beer gardens so that there is enough space for us all. Am I being unreasonable to suggest there must be more appropriate places for us to meet up? For one I'd rather not surround my baby with smokers (who I fully understand are entitled to smoke in beer gardens) and often even sitting inside you can smell the smoke... and even without any smoke I'm not sure they are an environment designed to cater for babies. Is it reasonable to be taking a bunch of newborns to the pub?

Maybe choose some nicer pubs but there is nothing wrong about newborns at family friendly pubs. Every time I’ve sat outside at a coffee shop there have been smokers there too, and often at bus stops, the park… it’s not exclusive to pubs, just insist on not sitting near smokers if you are worried.

I don’t think YABU OP, I don’t like taking my kids to places where I can smell smoke and they are 2, 5 and 7!

My Mum and Baby pilates classes and Hartbeeps classes were held in a pub (garden room at 10am), and we all went to get a coffee in the pub afterwards, so yep I think you are being totally unreasonable.

The family pubs near us do coffee and breakfast before midday though, so slightly different vibe. I wouldn’t want to take my kids in the local old man’s pub, or the one that caters to the alcoholics in the betting shop next door.

* I wouldn't but then I think pubs are entirely inappropriate to take kids to - inside or out.*

^Me too. I don’t like taking kids to pubs at all

I honestly think you've just had really dreadful luck, unless you're going to obviously dire pubs. Can understand why you don't want to risk it again, but then I do think the onus is on you to find another venue.

Having had a baby in may 2020 I'd have given anything to take my newborn to the pub (bad mum alert hey!)

Some pubs will be fine, others not so much. Does your have a really big beer garden so you can keep away from the smokers or is it a tiny patio, for example?

I often met mums' groups at garden centres and leisure centre cafés (usually very spacious and fine for a simple panini and coffee type of lunch).

I went to a pub with my newborns abd was lovely

YABU

I gave birth in the height of the pandemic. I met the other NCT mums for socially distanced walks. No matter the weather! Can you grab a coffee and walk round a park or whatever? Take a picnic blanket and sit on the floor?

I'm not keen on going to pubs in the daytime but took my babies there occasionally for lunch. This was 2014. Depends what the other options are locally to you. With my group of friends we went to:

Baby cinema + cinema cafe
Play groups
Park / park cafe
Play cafe
Each other's houses / gardens (most popular option though limited to those with enough space)

We met in pubs a bit but there were never smokers as it was usually 10am so not many drinkers.

Tbh this will be very short lived when the little ones are on the move it's impossible.

It wouldn't be my first choice - I'd be pretty unlikely to go to a pub/beer garden without a baby never mind with one... I think a park, coffee shop or someone's house would be better if possible.

I think it's fine. It's probably difficult to find places to accommodate you all where you can buy a drink and you can sit away from the smokers.

You could offer your place next time but make clear it's only on a rotation basis and not every time!

Depends on the pub, very rarely are people smoking these days and many only allow smoking in a small section anyway. I'm guessing they prefer outside so a weekday pub garden sounds perfect

My antenatal group did the pub weekly after a baby class from
a few weeks old.
Our main haunt otherwise was the grounds of a NT type place (not NT but similar) that was free to roam the estate. We used to picnic when weather was good and walk when it wasn’t.
We did also visit a big garden centre regularly too and a country park.

Take a picnic blanket and sit on the floor?

Sorry but the pub sounds far more appealing 😂😂

But I live in the north west and it rains a lot!!

YABU

With Dc1 ived in a part of London with lots of young professionals and loads of babies...

Pubs very quiet during day and catered for the baby parents...

Was great having comfy sofas inside or large areas outside in the garden.

Relax and enjoy .. won't be long till you are in a church hall drinking tea and biscuits at playgroup!

I think a lot definitely depends on the pub and time of day. I went to a pub meetup with my baby group for a weekday brunch/lunch and we pretty much had the place to ourselves. I can totally understand not wanting to sit near smokers outside, I absolutely hate the smell and it would make me uncomfortable. You might find now that schools are back and more people are back at work it's much quieter though x

@Mantlemoose

I wouldn't but then I think pubs are entirely inappropriate to take kids to - inside or out.

Yes because a newborn will be sneaking a quick half! In 17 years time you'll probably learn that your child is one first name terms with many bar-staff in your local watering holes.

I used to attend a breastfeeding support group which was hosted jointly by peer supported and health visitors. It was held in a pub. The pub was chosen as it was Central, has easy pram access, lots of space, a small play area for older siblings and the pub even sold us hot drinks at a discount. It was held in the morning so the pub had a totally appropriate atmosphere for the meeting.