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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I use the garden?

69 replies

GardenProblems · 09/09/2021 17:00

NC for this. After years on the waiting list for a LA property I was finally offered a two bedroom second floor flat two months ago. Yay! I am beyond grateful after the year long lockdown being cooped up in my parents spare single bedroom with DD 7.

It is part of a Housing Estate and there are over 100 flats, six per block and two on each floor with decent front gardens and an even bigger back communal garden. When viewing the flat I asked the housing officer if we could use both gardens and she said that the community thinks its an unwritten rule that the bottom floor gets the front gardens and the top two floors share the back, however it isn't enforced by them and some residents in different blocks have worked out alternative arrangements between themselves.

Since moving in a month ago we have had some issues with the other kids who share the communal garden. Normal falling in and falling out stuff but also the play equipment I bought for DD was broken on purpose and some other toys have been stolen. DD now wants a trampoline for her birthday and I don't want to put it out the back. I approached the lady who lives in the ground floor flat and explained all this and said since she doesn't appear to use the front garden would it be ok if I put a trampoline in it for DD. She just said no and shut the door in my face!

Apart from paying for a new, higher fence she doesn't actually use it. It would be perfect for us as it gets the sun all day and my balcony overlooks it so I would be able to sit and watch DD play. WIBU to just go ahead and put the trampoline in there anyway?

OP posts:
sluj · 09/09/2021 17:07
  1. The Housing Officer will come along and get you to take it all away anyway. You are generally not allowed to pile personal possessions in communal gardens
  2. What made you think she would want a trampoline and associated nuisance right outside her window?
Shoxfordian · 09/09/2021 17:09

Yabu

Of course she doesn’t want a kid bouncing about in her front garden all day.

Notaroadrunner · 09/09/2021 17:10

How big is the front garden? If there is an understanding that the ground floor occupants have the front gardens then you can't just erect a trampoline on it. Would it be near her door/windows? The last thing she needs is to have to see and hear your dd bouncing. Also the last thing you need is other kids then using the trampoline and wrecking it, which is no doubt what will happen. Any chance your parents would allow you to put it in their garden, if they have one, assuming you still live relatively near them?

Shoxfordian · 09/09/2021 17:10
  • I know it’s not her garden but in front of her house

Plus you’re probably not allowed this stuff anyway

PumpkinKlNG · 09/09/2021 17:10

This has got to be a joke surely? There is no way I would want someone’s trampoline basically in front of my house?! Imagine the noise 😣 I didn’t even know you could put things like that in a communal garden tbh especially not a front one?!

DingDongDenny · 09/09/2021 17:11

Why did you ask her if you had no intention of respecting her views

Flowerlane · 09/09/2021 17:12

Of course you can’t just go ahead and put one there anyway. Confused

Also a trampoline is the last thing the neighbour will want outside her window.

If you go ahead then I guarantee it will be a waste of money as either the neighbour will remove it herself or the housing officer will be round to tell you to remove it.

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 09/09/2021 17:14

I think maybe you'll have to choose different garden play things that can be brought in after playing with - pop up playhouse, bike, swing ball etc. Otherwise do you know those that share the back garden? Could you all club together (if allowed) and have communal playthings (trampoline etc) so they are shared and more likely to be looked after?

pictish · 09/09/2021 17:16

Yabu…sorry, I know it seems arbitrary and unfair but some social rites like this one hold water. It is my understanding too that the bottom flat gets the front garden…we’re in Scotland so it’s a common unwritten rule.

I imagine then reason is that no one wants to sit directly outside someone’s front window while similarly, no one wants people sitting directly outside their front window.

Your neighbour doesn’t want to watch your daughter play. Technically you can still put the trampoline in the front garden if you like…but the truth is, it’s a dick move. I sympathise…but no.

ShuddaBeenMe · 09/09/2021 17:16

Don't be daft. Trampolines are noisy and a nuisance. You can't blame her for saying no

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/09/2021 17:16

Way to piss off your new neighbours!!

XelaM · 09/09/2021 17:17

How big is your balcony? Can you fit a small trampoline on there?

DixonD · 09/09/2021 17:17

It would like hideous in the front garden. I wouldn’t want it either and she was probably a bit shocked by your request. They’re an eyesore. I think the best solution is to ask your parents, as suggested above.

DixonD · 09/09/2021 17:18

@XelaM

How big is your balcony? Can you fit a small trampoline on there?
Would that even be safe!?
Clymene · 09/09/2021 17:18

its an unwritten rule that the bottom floor gets the front gardens and the top two floors share the back, however it isn't enforced by them and some residents in different blocks have worked out alternative arrangements between themselves

You tried to work out an 'alternative arrangement' and she said no. Also using it and putting a trampoline up in it are two entirely different things!

Original poster
GardenProblems · 09/09/2021 17:19

You are allowed to put play equipment and out door furniture in the communal garden. A girl I know is on the top floor of another block but her ground floor neighbor let's her use the front garden. It isn't an issue for them.

I was hoping that if the trampoline was in the front garden it would deter the other kids from using it as it is a bit more private and people are more wary of entering them because of the unwritten rule.

OP posts:
crowsfeet57 · 09/09/2021 17:19

If you put a trampoline in the front garden, the housing officer will make you remove it because if passers-by use it and get injured they can sue the HA. Also what's to stop the people who damaged the things you put in the back coming and using your trampoline at the front?

Iamthewombat · 09/09/2021 17:20

Trampoline on a balcony, what could go wrong?

pictish · 09/09/2021 17:23

I mean seriously…you say she doesn’t use the garden but a trampoline out there with a child bouncing around on it will be a total nuisance.
It will also attract the attention of all the other kids.

480Widdio · 09/09/2021 17:24

No!!!

PumpkinKlNG · 09/09/2021 17:25

I put a kids toy car in my private front garden and the council knocked and told
Me to remove it because nothing is allowed to be stored in the front garden so I’m amazed they would allow trampolines in communal front gardens Hmm

Iworkedhardforwhatihave · 09/09/2021 17:25

So you asked, she said no, but you’re going to do it anyway?

CherryCoco · 09/09/2021 17:25

Yabu

user845890 · 09/09/2021 17:26

Trampolines are an antisocial nuisance. I'm pretty sure that no-one will voluntarily allow the awful repetitive noise, the inevitable shrieking and the constant movement in their eyeline, unless it's for the benefit of their own kid!

FleasInMyKnees · 09/09/2021 17:26

Your friends neighbour is nothing to do with you really. Of course she doesnt want it outside her flat. You want use of the back and front garden, is that really fair. You may not be allowed to put any play equipment in the front gardens anyway. Could you speak to the other parents about toys getting stolen, is there somewhere safe for them to be stored, do they have your name on them. .

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