Should I use the garden?

[GardenProblems]

NC for this. After years on the waiting list for a LA property I was finally offered a two bedroom second floor flat two months ago. Yay! I am beyond grateful after the year long lockdown being cooped up in my parents spare single bedroom with DD 7.

It is part of a Housing Estate and there are over 100 flats, six per block and two on each floor with decent front gardens and an even bigger back communal garden. When viewing the flat I asked the housing officer if we could use both gardens and she said that the community thinks its an unwritten rule that the bottom floor gets the front gardens and the top two floors share the back, however it isn't enforced by them and some residents in different blocks have worked out alternative arrangements between themselves.

Since moving in a month ago we have had some issues with the other kids who share the communal garden. Normal falling in and falling out stuff but also the play equipment I bought for DD was broken on purpose and some other toys have been stolen. DD now wants a trampoline for her birthday and I don't want to put it out the back. I approached the lady who lives in the ground floor flat and explained all this and said since she doesn't appear to use the front garden would it be ok if I put a trampoline in it for DD. She just said no and shut the door in my face!

Apart from paying for a new, higher fence she doesn't actually use it. It would be perfect for us as it gets the sun all day and my balcony overlooks it so I would be able to sit and watch DD play. WIBU to just go ahead and put the trampoline in there anyway?

@MaskingForIt

OP, it is people like you who give council tenants a bad name.

I haven't actually done anything, I asked some advice and conceded I was wrong ?

@MaskingForIt That's a bit harsh, the op is only trying to do something to make her daughter happy and has taken on board that her thoughts of using the front garden were unreasonable.

I know it’s not the same but why not take her to a trampoline park as part of her birthday treats? It’s not the same as her own one, but it’s probably the best compromise between what she wants and your garden situation

Moon shoes might be a good portable option for your dd.

Wow YABU my dd asked for a trampoline end we have a private garden but this would have encroached on our neighbours space and quiet time so I said no? Can you not just try to get along nicely. Your dd can get by in life without a trampoline.
Find a friend who has one at school and send her there that's what I do.

You can't get a trampoline in this situation. In either garden. There's no way that only your daughter would use it and it almost certainly cause a nuisance and most likely would get damaged or yu will be held responsible when a random neighbour kid hurts themselves.

Sorry but I think you're just going to have to put your foot down on this one, DD you can't get a trampoline because we live in a flat.

This has yo be a joke, nobody could be so entitled and selfish

@a8mint

This has yo be a joke, nobody could be so entitled and selfish

Didn't bother reading the whole thread then, where the OP conceded she was wrong and said she will buy her DD something else?

It's not even a long thread, but you go off

Yes the OP conceded really politely. Mumsnet is good for garnering general opinion on matters such as these, even when they are harsh.

@MaskingForIt

OP, it is people like you who give council tenants a bad name.

Ew.

So I think before you buy anything for the communal garden in your block you need to try to change the culture. This will take time but can happen, and it is usually instigated by a couple of mums to get things going.
Organise a block party for a big national occasion or just pick a date next Spring / Summer. Get people to bring something. People are usually happy to help but just need an organiser.

Get this going and other communal activities will start to happen

One of the blocks even has some raised beds where a pensioner is helping the kids grow their own vegetables

Raised beds are totally different to a trampoline though aren’t they?! They’re not inconveniencing anyone in any way.

Take her to a trampoline park for her birthday instead?

Trampolines are the worst. My next door neighbours had one and it was constant boing boing screaming kids and their heads bobbing above my fence 24/7. I'm not surprised downstairs lady said no.

@godmum56

is it common for housing associations to let renters sort this out between themselves and to have "unwritten rules"? It sounds like a recipe for mayhem and chaos!

I agree. I also dislike the whole 'unwritten' rule element. Either your tenancy agreement allows you access to the front garden or it doesnt. It is not the ladies front garden it is communal. That being said I dont think the trampoline in the front garden is a good idea.

Its obviously very convenient for you but you said yourself the bottom flats tend to get the front - why would she want to watch / hear a child playing and jumping?

Instead of a trampoline could you buy her trampolining lessons/sessions at a sports centre? I sympathise, I lived in a block with a shared garden (moved out last year) and had annoying neighbours that would have noisy picnics right outside our back door (we eventually made friends and they were actually nice people), but we also had a toddler that would run about squealing. I think you know that putting a trampoline in the garden outside your neighbours flat is not on, at all.

YABU, and on the way to being an entitled CF neighbour,too.

@Notjustanymum

YABU, and on the way to being an entitled CF neighbour,too.

Have you read the full thread ?

Does it matter if pp has read the full thread? Even considering doing this is cheeky! I have my own from garden and my daughter would love a swing but we can’t put one in the back due to the odd layout, and I’m not allowed to do that by my council and it’s my own front garden so I would be amazed that a trampoline would be allowed in a shared one.