Should I use the garden?

[GardenProblems]

NC for this. After years on the waiting list for a LA property I was finally offered a two bedroom second floor flat two months ago. Yay! I am beyond grateful after the year long lockdown being cooped up in my parents spare single bedroom with DD 7.

It is part of a Housing Estate and there are over 100 flats, six per block and two on each floor with decent front gardens and an even bigger back communal garden. When viewing the flat I asked the housing officer if we could use both gardens and she said that the community thinks its an unwritten rule that the bottom floor gets the front gardens and the top two floors share the back, however it isn't enforced by them and some residents in different blocks have worked out alternative arrangements between themselves.

Since moving in a month ago we have had some issues with the other kids who share the communal garden. Normal falling in and falling out stuff but also the play equipment I bought for DD was broken on purpose and some other toys have been stolen. DD now wants a trampoline for her birthday and I don't want to put it out the back. I approached the lady who lives in the ground floor flat and explained all this and said since she doesn't appear to use the front garden would it be ok if I put a trampoline in it for DD. She just said no and shut the door in my face!

Apart from paying for a new, higher fence she doesn't actually use it. It would be perfect for us as it gets the sun all day and my balcony overlooks it so I would be able to sit and watch DD play. WIBU to just go ahead and put the trampoline in there anyway?

“I was hoping that if the trampoline was in the front garden it would deter the other kids from using it as it is a bit more private and people are more wary of entering them because of the unwritten rule.”

The kids and their parents will be wondering why your dd gets the front garden all to herself. You can’t flout the unwritten rule to suit yourself then expect others to comply with it.

You’ve put play equipment out which has been deliberately broken, but think if you put a trampoline out there, nobody will touch it?!

What happens if another child falls off it and breaks their leg?

It is also a sad fact that an adult who doesn’t want a trampoline outside their flat might damage it. It isn’t just children who behave like that. How do you think this woman will feel if you put it there anyway? Do you really think she’ll just say to herself “oh well I have to live with it now”?
She shut the door in your face.

Would YOU want someone else’s trampoline aka kid magnet right outside your front window? Damn sure I wouldn’t.

I take all your advice on board and I am BU. DD has had a hard year and I just wanted her to have what she wanted for her birthday. I'll tell her to pick something else as with the dark nights coming in she wouldn't get much use out of the trampoline anyway.

Thank you everyone who responded

All that would happen would be the kids would use the trampoline, the gf neighbour would be really pissed off and complain, you'd be told to remove the trampoline and your neighbour (s) would hate you which would make living there bloody awful.

You live in a flat with a communal garden. That means you have to do things a bit differently than if you had a place with a private garden.

X post. Good decision.

Get her an exercise trampoline that she can bring in after? But put it in the back garden!

Good call

Maybe a pogo stick she can jump about on and bring in afterwards

It’s one thing using the front garden, it’s another trying entirely to put a trampoline on there, let your daughter use it, and then retreat to your balcony!!

Trampolines are absolute kid magnets. You can't realistically put one in communal gardens (front or back) and expect other children not to use it, unfortunately. I imagine the other parents in the block won't thank you either because of the potential for injuries from children trampolining unsupervised.

Do you have any indoor trampoline parks near you? A 'token' for a couple of visits or a trip with a friend might be a nice present for DD to use this winter.

Could you maybe get a high sleeper bed with a slide so DD could have some play equipment inside? Not sure if 7 would be too old...

Massively BU

And it will end badly if you go ahead. Housing Ass will make you get rid of it.

is it common for housing associations to let renters sort this out between themselves and to have "unwritten rules"? It sounds like a recipe for mayhem and chaos!

Ah great op! I was starting to worry that you were one of those posters who asks AIBU and then continues to insist that they aren’t despite everyone saying they are!

If you would like access to the front garden, maybe ask your neighbour if you could buy garden furniture - start with that and win her over.

Then over time, introduce play equipment - play the long game.

My friend lives in flats with communal garden literally 12 flats share 1 huge garden they have trampoline, pool, swings, slide, it's like a park. Everyone just shares and whatever kid breaks it, their parents buy a new one. Maybe you can get chummy and do that

Op if it's for everyone why even ask. It's not your neighbours garden just start using it.

It's actually YOUR garden. Its everyones

This Talk of unwritten rules makes me twitchy. I'd be pressing the council for some written ones.

I used to live on an estate years ago and they divided up the communal garden behind the flats with chain link fences. Everyone got their own little plot.

The trouble is I bet many would want to replace it or will deny it was their kid!

Are you absolutely sure that people can leave their own things in the communal garden? Ours has furniture and more that was bought by the TMO. One family moved in, saw this and went out and bought lots of things to stay in the garden, got pissed off when it was a free for all, complained to the council and was told that things could be used in the communal garden for individual use, however it couldn't stay there.

Imagine if every property put in furniture, play equipment, bbq's, sheds, fire pits, lighting etc

Another issue you could end up with is liability if someone else is injured whilst using permanent equipment, hence the TMO bought all ours and is also responsible for maintaining the equipment.

If you really want to get her one, you. could get a smaller 4ft or less that can be folded and taken up with you every time. If you do don't forget about the enclosure. HOwever, regardless of size and placement it might still piss the other neighbours off. So as a compromise could you get an indoor one and use lots of padding around it when she's on to cushion the falls, plus some of the foamy play stuff to help muffle out the noise for downstairs?

Pogo stick is a GREAT idea from pp. I used to live on mine at that age. And small enough to store in a broom cupboard.

I’d look into these “unwritten” rules and request clarity, particularly if stuff is getting broken.

Look up jungle jumparoo on YouTube (I can't get the link to copy on my phone) it looks to be more of an indoor thing and depending on size of your place it might fit?

OP, it is people like you who give council tenants a bad name.

It is a big estate and some of the blocks even had parties throughout the year charging entry to the back garden r e.g. Halloween fancy and used the money raised to buy equipment. There is private bought furniture, equipment, sheds that they all share and the LA doesn't seem to mind and certainly hasn't removed any of it.

One of the blocks even has some raised beds where a pensioner is helping the kids grow their own vegetables

I think I've just gotten a bit unlucky that my block is a bit antisocial but I can use this as a learning moment for DD spend the winter saving up some money and assessing how best we can use the space out the back and also involve the other mums and kids in the hope that they would then take more care of the equipment.