Workplace bullying less than a week in?

[malificent7]

Newly qualified healthcare professional. Ist job...i did a few shifts of bank at the beginning of the sumnmer holidays . On shift my phone went off as dd was in trouble. I apologised, put it on silent and didnt answer it.
Ever since i got comments such as
" do you have to reapply for the permanent role?"
"Are you sure you have done this before?"
General tutting.
I felt anxious over the summer as i had a feeling she'd make my life difficult.

So three days adter i returned...yesterday in fact she was in charge. I had a good day in 1 dept. I made 2 mistakes from the whole day on the new computer system...she came and chastised me..fair enough but i was a day into training...it took most people 3 wks to learn.
I followed her into the office to correct mistake with receptionist. She told me off for standing in the wrong place. Then told me " listen" in sharpish tones as i looked the wrong way...eg...at the receptionist. The receptionist reassured me that they made the same mistakes when they were learning.
Then i got told off again for making another mistake. She makes me so nervous. This is after working with a lovely seniour person all day who was v tolerant.

The other day we were joking about how people hate change and how annoying it is when they change fire alarms. I commented that i was used to the fire alarm going off on a Thursday in my old job and she snidely said in front of the entire office " well of course the fire alarm is on a different day in a different workplace." I have had a nervous tummy since working with her...ibs symptoms.
Worse...she's my mentor. I start my proper permanent contract in about a week and shes my mentor...how do i handleher?

I am triggered as i was bullied on my placements.

Handle her*

It seems that everyone else at work is nice. It's just this one woman who is a problem.

This is normal. There is at least one arsehole at every single workplace in the world. Whilst I absolutely agree that this woman sounds rotten, you will encounter more people like her throughout your working life. That makes me think you actually have two issues:
This woman and your own resilience. You mention you were bullied previously, you are now triggered and unwell. You don't deserve to feel like that, you deserve the very best in mental health and part of that is having good coping strategies.

About the colleague, you have choices. Ignore, grey rock, sarcastic retorts, report to higher ups. Perhaps you could gently steer a break time conversation with other colleagues towards her - maybe she's been arsy with them too?

Make notes of every nasty comment she makes, the day, time and context. I had one job where the bullying started the first week, and I really wished later that I had kept a note of everything.

If you feel that you can have a word with her in private. The NHS is full of nasty little bullies who are allowed toy get away with appalling behaviour because they are never challenged. Do not give her power that she doesn't have, ask for another mentor if necessary.

@FangsForTheMemory

Make notes of every nasty comment she makes, the day, time and context. I had one job where the bullying started the first week, and I really wished later that I had kept a note of everything.

Yip... Date .. Time .. What was said.. Who witnessed it

everything ...

Most NHS Trusts have assertiveness & resilience courses nowadays OP, as a newly qualified HCP you definitely should go on one ASAP. You're going to come across this time & again throughout your career with other staff and patients alike.

Yes, ask HR to give you a different mentor as it's not working for you with this one - your personalities / styles of communicating / ways of interacting are just not compatible and it is having a negative effect on your learning and settling in.

@l2b2

Most NHS Trusts have assertiveness & resilience courses nowadays OP, as a newly qualified HCP you definitely should go on one ASAP. You're going to come across this time & again throughout your career with other staff and patients alike.

Assertiveness and Resilience to bullying ... sounds interesting

Did she " tell you off" for standing in the wrong place or ask you to stand elsewhere? Is she telling you off for making mistakes or bringing them to your attention in a rather brusque way? Is she unpleasant/sharp with everyone, or singling you out?

Either way request a new mentor and then (politely) tell her why.

Agree the NHS is full of arseholes like this who are allowed to get away with it.

I don't think this is about your resilience, anyone suggesting so hasn't experienced this type of arsehole in the workplace. They are a different breed to your usual workplace knob.

I left my NHS job because of a person like this. She made me ill and I'm usually a very strong thick skinned person but she wore me down and my line manager was useless.

Definitely make notes and speak to your line manager.

Note taking as we speak. Yesterday afternoon she followed me round telling me off! Whereas the consultant was wonderful and patoent with me until our list ended.

Patient*
Conversation wentt like this :
" xxx you havn't donexxxx properly...come to reception to correct it"
Me: " sorry...sure." ( follows but turns away 1st).
Colleague: " listen please! ....don't stand there...she's talking."
Me: Sorry( steps out of way).
Receptionist when colleague left: " dont worry....it took us 3 weeks to learn this and u only made one mistake ,"
Me: " so its not just me then?"
Receptionist: " no."
10 mins later :
Colleague" you've done this wrong....ask next time as its wrong."
Sounds normal right? Its the tone.

By the way...she only seems like this with me.

I left my NHS job because of a person like this. She made me ill and I'm usually a very strong thick skinned person but she wore me down and my line manager was useless.

I had exactly the same thing. Line Manager was useless too. Was in the NHS for 30 odd years and worked with some shockingly nasty people, but it still hit my mental health hard when it happened.

Midwifery is it?

Go to HR and ask for a new mentor, as she seems to be taking your inexperience so personally.

Say that her negative comments and telling you off aren't helping and you're even more nervous because of her reactions.

Stand up for yourself - everyone makes mistakes when they're new. And if she can't deal with that, she shouldn't be mentoring.

I recognise your username and you do seem to complain of similar problems with a lot of people OP

Horrible and should not be tolerated at all’s report her and stand up for yourself OP. Call her out.

“I’m sorry, am I correct in thinking you are telling me off because I am standing in the wrong place?”

“Excuse me, could you speak to me like a grown adult and not a child?”

Heard about this too much within the NHS. No it’s not ‘normal’ it’s people who turn a blind eye to it who are making it normal. I know workplaces always have these sorts of people but it doesn’t mean it should be accepted. Get her called out.

1. Is this the first time she's mentored anyone by any chance?

1. If it only seems directed at you, have a look at the Trust's Bullying Policy to see what their take on it is. And also check if they have a preceptorship programme to see how they're supposed to treat a new HCP in post...

1. Absolutely keep a record of everything like this she says, time, date, everything.

1. Other people have given very good advice, but it will help if you have some evidence.

1. Join a union, if you haven't already.

1. Has your Trust sent you on the conflict resolution course yet? Check out the elearning platform if not.

I've worked in many places over the years, including the NHS, and unfortunately people like this are everywhere. Doesn't mean their behaviour should be acceptable, though. What happened to the last person in your job, out of interest?

(Disclaimer - I also live with someone who used to manage a nurse bank - we worked at the same Trust for a while, and oh, the stories they could tell about how their bank staff were sometimes treated on certain wards. Of course, some were lovely, but others were run by complete and utter muppets, frankly. Another friend works for a big Trust at the other end of the country and has recently called out their manager [not nursing], the only one brave enough in the department to do so, and finally the manager is getting a bit of karma in the face, not before time either.)

They have had a hard time recruiting.

Say to her very clearly 'why are you picking on me? Do we need to go and speak to HR together now or is this a problem we can resolve now?'

Speak confidently and clearly and look at her as you say it.

She is one of those - everyone will be scared of her but she's a coward and a bully and the sooner you nip it in the bud the better.

If she tries to deny it or becomes hostile just say 'obviously there is a problem we need to deal with. I'll contact HR later and we can make an appointment to see them together to get this ironed out. Let's leave it there for now.'

Don't allow her to ruin this for you.

@DamnShesaSexyChick

I recognise your username and you do seem to complain of similar problems with a lot of people OP

I agree. I would be questioning how much of this is your anxiety and sensitivity.

You expect people to have it in for you so that's how you interpret everything they say. You view people as out to get you so you act in a hostile and aloof manner. You have also said before that you object on principle to supervision.

Going around labelling every uncomfortable interaction in life as "bullying" is not helpful to you or anyone else.

@Merryoldgoat

Great advice!

Did she " tell you off" for standing in the wrong place or ask you to stand elsewhere? Is she telling you off for making mistakes or bringing them to your attention in a rather brusque way?

Exactly. It's all interpretation.

If you remove the anxious "everybody has it in for me" lens from op's account there isn't anything nasty.

Asking a bank worker if they have to apply for a permanent post is hardly bullying. Nor is asking someone you're training who keeps making mistakes if they have done this before. If you don't pay attention when someone is training you it is not surprising they would stop and ask for your attention.

I have read your threads before. I know how many layers of subjective interpretation and mind-reading you add onto your workplace interactions.

It sounds very much as you are overreacting to normal observations and instructions.