Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have lost my shit on Facebook?

109 replies

TheStein · 08/09/2021 12:30

Ex used to constantly bang on about a coat I had. It was a general black winter coat with a furry lined hood (not real fur, think it was bought from Tesco). He would go on about it all the time saying it was frumpy, grandma coat, council estate coat etc etc - constantly trying to get me to throw it out. Anyway we split (not because of the coat! 😂) but remained friends on Facebook. A few years later I bought a mew coat, similar style, black long coat with furry lined hood however this one was expensive (Barbour). Last night a memory came up from earlier in the year where I was on a lively dog walk. I happened to be wearing the Barbour coat. I’m feeling really down lately so shared the memory as it made me smile. He commented saying “I see you still have that granny coat haha”. I replied saying “this is a different coat” and he said “suuuurrre” with a winking face. Well I lost my shit and replied:
“Who the fuck do you think you are trying to tell people what they should and shouldn’t wear? I don’t need your shitty opinions thanks, especially when you clearly don’t own a fucking mirror yourself. You’re a joke. Absolutely pathetic. You put me down for years in the past trying to control what I wear and I’m not fucking having it anymore. Go and look at yourself, you absolute tit”.

He replied instantly with a shocked face and no words. Then a few of my friends put shocked reactions on my comment. I then got a couple of messages from friends asking if I was ok. Now I’m mortified that I went off like that but I guess I’m still harbouring resentment for the shit I put up with??! I’ve deleted it now and blocked him but I feel like deleting Facebook completely. I’m so embarrassed, my work colleagues would have seen that, as well as seniors and juniors. My son also saw it and sent me a joke message saying “shit, someone pissed in your cornflakes this morning?”

But then I’m still angry that he mentioned the bastard coat again!!!!

OP posts:
Confused102 · 08/09/2021 16:12

I would be hugely embarrassed, knowing your colleagues were on there why would you do that? Just never air dirty laundry in public, you look worse off.

Avocadodo · 08/09/2021 16:14

I can see why you lost your temper but I can't see why you didn't just block him

HeckyPeck · 08/09/2021 16:14

If I read that on a friend or colleagues Facebook I'd assume their ex was a dick (if I didn't know them already) and think of the times I wish I'd stood up to my controlling partners. (Thankfully they are ex's now!)

BrendaBubbles · 08/09/2021 16:17

Eugh i hate that casual victim blaming some people indulge in. You clearly kicked off for a reason, not because someone pissed in your corn flakes. I’m surprised your own son wouldn’t recognise there could be bad air between you and an ex.

Divebar2021 · 08/09/2021 16:21

Oh I lost my shit with a colleague on a zoom call in front of my team and line manager. It was pretty much everything I thought of her but had kept in. ( she’s very abrasive & unpleasant). Although it was most definitely a combination of menopause mood and PMT I felt horrible about it. It was so unprofessional but I swear it was red mist. Anyway, I’ve since seen her in person and we didn’t mention it and had a friendly chat - it’s all good ( lucky she has the hide of a bloody rhino ). No one died.

Divebar2021 · 08/09/2021 16:29

I’m telling you so you know it could be waaaaay worse.

DrSbaitso · 08/09/2021 16:30

@Divebar2021

Oh I lost my shit with a colleague on a zoom call in front of my team and line manager. It was pretty much everything I thought of her but had kept in. ( she’s very abrasive & unpleasant). Although it was most definitely a combination of menopause mood and PMT I felt horrible about it. It was so unprofessional but I swear it was red mist. Anyway, I’ve since seen her in person and we didn’t mention it and had a friendly chat - it’s all good ( lucky she has the hide of a bloody rhino ). No one died.
She can't be all bad if she forgave you that and isn't holding it against you.
saraclara · 08/09/2021 16:31

@BrendaBubbles

Eugh i hate that casual victim blaming some people indulge in. You clearly kicked off for a reason, not because someone pissed in your corn flakes. I’m surprised your own son wouldn’t recognise there could be bad air between you and an ex.
She kicked off for a reason. But there was no need to do it publically. There's nothing worse than having to witness a domestic/ex-domestic argument. She had the option of messaging that rant to him, but instead she involved others. Which is really tacky.

Whether it's harmed her at work will presumably depend on what she does for a job. If she's a barmaid at the Queen Vic, she'll be fine.

GameSetMatch · 08/09/2021 16:37

Shrug it off, he kind of had it coming anyway!

Thadhiya · 08/09/2021 16:37

You completely overreacted. If you can't handle gentle jokes from friends, stay off Facebook.

Ozanj · 08/09/2021 16:41

@Divebar2021

Oh I lost my shit with a colleague on a zoom call in front of my team and line manager. It was pretty much everything I thought of her but had kept in. ( she’s very abrasive & unpleasant). Although it was most definitely a combination of menopause mood and PMT I felt horrible about it. It was so unprofessional but I swear it was red mist. Anyway, I’ve since seen her in person and we didn’t mention it and had a friendly chat - it’s all good ( lucky she has the hide of a bloody rhino ). No one died.
Ineffective management. You should have been pulled up for this and given an informal warning.
Divebar2021 · 08/09/2021 16:45

@DrSbaitso

Oh I agree, no ones all bad. She doesn’t hold grudges from what I can tell and I do appreciate that about her.

Divebar2021 · 08/09/2021 16:46

@Ozanj

Who said I wasn’t pulled up?

Grazyna80 · 08/09/2021 16:54

Good on you. Haha !

User135644 · 08/09/2021 16:58

Shit happens but don't air your dirty linen in public. That's why I don't use social media.

ChargingBuck · 08/09/2021 16:58

You've done nothing wrong, he had that rant coming.

Time for a general Faceache review though - for starters, remove all your colleagues & professional contacts from your friends list.
Not because of your rant - because there's simply no need to mix business & social. Keep your private life out of the office.

And enjoy hitting "delete & block" on your ex.

Sillysuzie · 08/09/2021 17:01

You're brilliant

OneFootintheRave · 08/09/2021 17:01

My first thought was "nice one" too. If I read that and it was out of character I would have just thought that he had it coming a long time.

People will forget but, if you ever see him again, don't apologise or maybe only for the swearing. It was true and you stand by it!! Grin

ChargingBuck · 08/09/2021 17:02

@EmeraldShamrock

Your reaction was extreme I'd have ignored him or responded with I suppose your penis is still tiny too signing off with a smile. Block him. FB is very public people forget that.
You think your tiny penis comment is less "extreme" than OP's remarks?

Grin Grin Grin

ChargingBuck · 08/09/2021 17:04

@Realyorkshiretea

Sorry Op but you were really OTT in my opinion. It sounds like things between you were relatively cordial to still be fb friends, and the coat sounds more like a running joke than ‘clothing control’. Albeit a slightly annoying one. Just delete the post, drop him a message to say having a bad day and leave it there.
"having a bad day" - why say that? That's an excuse or an apology, neither of which OP owes him.
leavesthataregreen · 08/09/2021 17:05

I'd be quite proud of that explosion actually. It was true. If anyone at work makes a comment, just smile and say, 'Oh he was long overdue that outburst. It felt very liberating.'

If anyone starts teasing you with 'Better be careful around TheStein, don't want to go upsetting her, just own it. Just say, 'Yes. I don't let people put me down.' But don't enter into a conversation about it.

I think it's good to sometimes bark back at people who constantly put us down. I'm glad on your behalf that you shocked him.

countrygirl99 · 08/09/2021 17:05

Next time open a word document, type your rant on there then have a upon tea. If you still feel it's a good idea copy it across to post. Chances are you will delete and you can't accidentally post. Works for me for those work emails where someone is being an utter twat and I need to get it off my chest before creating a professional response.

countrygirl99 · 08/09/2021 17:05

Upon = cup of

whynotwhatknot · 08/09/2021 17:13

Rude twat i say good for you

Bellabatwings · 08/09/2021 17:13

Sounds like he was still trying to annoy you by commenting on your coat, he holds no power over you or what you choose to wear, so i say dont give him another thought, and well done!!!!