Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I get"

278 replies

Facilitatingdarkness · 07/09/2021 21:02

What's wrong with "Can I have"?

It doesn't even make grammatical sense! I've noticed it more and more when people are ordering coffee, to the point that more people say it than not.

Makes me irrationally angry. Just me?

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 08/09/2021 12:05

@Meredusoleil

I absolutely hate this overuse of 'get' as well. It's everywhere for everything. Very lazy IMHO and shows a lack of better vocabulary.

Even had one of the kids write that in class today "I hope to get a zoo." I was like wtaf?!?

I have a MA in English, graduated undergraduate with First class honours and I'm a published writer.

I still say "can I get..."

Nothing wrong with it- it's just very informal language.

Bloodypunkrockers · 08/09/2021 12:08

@user78231

Yes, this is American (probably via a N. European source), but sadly they also generally miss out 'please'.

Hope the UK retains 'please', even if you are the customer.

I'm not American. I live in the UK

We have always said "can I get". And we say please too

Coronawireless · 08/09/2021 12:12

@Meredusoleil

I absolutely hate this overuse of 'get' as well. It's everywhere for everything. Very lazy IMHO and shows a lack of better vocabulary.

Even had one of the kids write that in class today "I hope to get a zoo." I was like wtaf?!?

So if you’re the teacher it is actually your job to expand the vocabulary (if you must) rather than wondering why no one’s done it, surely?
zingally · 08/09/2021 12:12

It's an Americanism. It's not grammatically wrong, but it does grate a bit to British ears.

I feel the same when I hear people talking about their shopping. "I grabbed a loaf of bread." No you didn't. You didn't snatch it from the shelf. You "got a loaf of bread" is fine.

Keke94LND · 08/09/2021 12:12

@dementedma

This comes up regularly. Can I get is standard usage in Scotland and no one bats an eyelash
It's standard in England too, but apparently it annoys posh people haha
Rozziie · 08/09/2021 12:14

@lazylinguist

None of those uses apply to ordering a coffee in a coffee shop. Number 9 shows someone being addressed by name, the implication being that the host is being asked for permission. This construction is not appropriate in a situation where a customer is ordering something they're paying for.

I don't see what being addressed by name has to do with anything. The title of section 9 is 'polite requests'. The speaker is very clearly politely requesting that Julia make/provide tea, because their guest has arrived. You surely can't think that 'May we have some tea?' in this context is a request for theoretical permission to have tea rather than a request for some actual tea?! I'm beginning to think you're pulling my leg...

Yes, exactly. Do you not see how requests and orders are not the same thing? The inclusion of the person's name in that example was intentional - the speaker is making a request, with the implication being that the other person can say no (even if they're unlikely to). You don't request something at a coffee shop; you order something. The expectation is that the person working there will give you what you are paying for, not say "actually, I think it's a little late in the day for coffee, so let's not."

Perhaps you should brush up on your grammar.

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/09/2021 12:14

Oh goody another snooty thread patronising those with different dialects to 'one's own'.

SirChenjins · 08/09/2021 12:17

@zingally

It's an Americanism. It's not grammatically wrong, but it does grate a bit to British ears.

I feel the same when I hear people talking about their shopping. "I grabbed a loaf of bread." No you didn't. You didn't snatch it from the shelf. You "got a loaf of bread" is fine.

No it's not - it's a UK thing, and certainly no-one bats an eyelid here in Scotland where it's said all the time by all manner of people from all manner of backgrounds. In fact, I'm going to claim it for Scotland and say it went to America in a sailing boat hundreds of years ago.

It's a bit like Halloween/guising - just because it hasn't reached some corners of England doesn't mean it's an Americanism.

Tinkerbellfluffyboots79 · 08/09/2021 12:20

Doesn’t bother me what other people say.
I say please may I/could I have/could I have.
That’s what I teach my kids.

CoalCraft · 08/09/2021 12:21

"To get" just means to "to acquire", without specifying how. If I just said "I got a handbag" you might very well assume I went and bought it myself, but if I added "for Christmas", you would realise that I was given it. There's nothing grammatically incorrect about using "can I get" to order something.

Personally I use "can I have" or "I'll have". I think "may I have" sounds childish.

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 12:22

Perhaps you should brush up on your grammar.

I've been a language teacher for 25 years, so probably not.

Rozziie · 08/09/2021 12:24

@lazylinguist

Perhaps you should brush up on your grammar.

I've been a language teacher for 25 years, so probably not.

I was also a language teacher for years. If you don't see the difference between requests and orders and don't see how context matters, I'd refrain from patronising others.
Rozziie · 08/09/2021 12:42

@CoalCraft

"To get" just means to "to acquire", without specifying how. If I just said "I got a handbag" you might very well assume I went and bought it myself, but if I added "for Christmas", you would realise that I was given it. There's nothing grammatically incorrect about using "can I get" to order something.

Personally I use "can I have" or "I'll have". I think "may I have" sounds childish.

It sounds patronising. When you're saying it to someone who is paid to serve you, they don't really have a choice, so the use of 'may' is overly genteel. You hear it said a lot by ladies who lunch, usually of a certain age.
JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 08/09/2021 12:49

I accept that language evolves, but I don't like the idea of it evolving through the lazy acceptance of incorrect terms. Laziness would suggest that, in the future, 'brought' will be an acceptable version of the past tense of 'to buy' and the phrase "I would of done XYZ" will be as acceptable as the correct version "I would've ..." (I would have). That is why I feel such mistakes are important to note.

Keke94LND · 08/09/2021 12:50

Is 'may I get' acceptable?

shouldistop · 08/09/2021 12:53

I'm Scottish and most people I know would say get instead of have.

Keke94LND · 08/09/2021 12:54

Question: if your friend is going to the shop and says 'can I get you anything' or 'do you want anything', would you not say 'please can you get me ...' surely that's the same thing and makes perfect sense

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 12:55

I'm very surprised that a fellow language teacher would claim that context can make a sentence grammatically wrong - i.e. incorrectly constructed, using parts of speech incorrectly etc.

The example you gave in your post at 12:14 is clearly a matter of manners, etiquette, social customs. Nothing whatsoever to do with grammar.

Besides, you absolutely do request things at a coffee shop, because that is the polite way to do things. We may refer to it as 'ordering a coffee', but that generally doesn't mean we speak to the barista as though we are issuing commands. I tend to say "Can I have a coffee please?" (to which no doubt some nitpickers would reply "I don't know - can you? Did you mean 'may I have a coffee'?" Hmm - but of course both 'may' and 'can' are perfectly normal usage here.)

It's still a request, however unlikely the refusal of the provider, or the financial incentive for providing.

suspiria777 · 08/09/2021 12:55

@Facilitatingdarkness

What's wrong with "Can I have"?

It doesn't even make grammatical sense! I've noticed it more and more when people are ordering coffee, to the point that more people say it than not.

Makes me irrationally angry. Just me?

What's wrong with "Please can I have?"
Rozziie · 08/09/2021 12:57

@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue

I accept that language evolves, but I don't like the idea of it evolving through the lazy acceptance of incorrect terms. Laziness would suggest that, in the future, 'brought' will be an acceptable version of the past tense of 'to buy' and the phrase "I would of done XYZ" will be as acceptable as the correct version "I would've ..." (I would have). That is why I feel such mistakes are important to note.
How else do you think it evolves? Confused

Language has always changed because of common usage eventually becoming the 'correct' version.

leavesthataregreen · 08/09/2021 13:02

@BrilliantBetty

Language evolves. It's an Americanism and is here to stay.

My father used to get annoyed by people said 'good' instead of 'well' or whatever in response to 'how are you'. It's completely the norm now, so what a waste of time it was getting frustrated by it.

This.

I used to froth that people used disinterested when they meant uninterested. But now disinterested has become to mean uninterested and I stopped caring years ago. Same with 'hopefully.' It's good that language evolves. If it hadn't we'd all still be grunting.

Rozziie · 08/09/2021 13:02

@lazylinguist

I'm very surprised that a fellow language teacher would claim that context can make a sentence grammatically wrong - i.e. incorrectly constructed, using parts of speech incorrectly etc.

The example you gave in your post at 12:14 is clearly a matter of manners, etiquette, social customs. Nothing whatsoever to do with grammar.

Besides, you absolutely do request things at a coffee shop, because that is the polite way to do things. We may refer to it as 'ordering a coffee', but that generally doesn't mean we speak to the barista as though we are issuing commands. I tend to say "Can I have a coffee please?" (to which no doubt some nitpickers would reply "I don't know - can you? Did you mean 'may I have a coffee'?" Hmm - but of course both 'may' and 'can' are perfectly normal usage here.)

It's still a request, however unlikely the refusal of the provider, or the financial incentive for providing.

You don't seem to understand that use of modal verbs falls under the 'grammar' umbrella. That's why you'll find examples of their usage in a grammar book rather than only in a social etiquette guide.

I completely disagree that you request things at a coffee shop. You might of course choose to be polite, but that doesn't negate the fact that the context matters. The resource you linked to very deliberately gave an example of someone requesting a drink in a domestic setting using 'may' because that's when it's appropriate to use it. You can 'order' something without barking a command.

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 13:06

How else do you think it evolves? confused Language has always changed because of common usage eventually becoming the 'correct' version.

Yes, but not always through mistakes or incorrect grammar. Some changes are created by neologisms and loan-words and idiomatic phrases from other languages or dialects. @JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue - I'm fine with the evolution of language, but I agree that the idea of changes caused by persistent, widespread grammatical errors is annoying (presumably until they are eventually fully accepted and the original version starts to sound archaic).

Rozziie · 08/09/2021 13:17

@lazylinguist

How else do you think it evolves? confused Language has always changed because of common usage eventually becoming the 'correct' version.

Yes, but not always through mistakes or incorrect grammar. Some changes are created by neologisms and loan-words and idiomatic phrases from other languages or dialects. @JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue - I'm fine with the evolution of language, but I agree that the idea of changes caused by persistent, widespread grammatical errors is annoying (presumably until they are eventually fully accepted and the original version starts to sound archaic).

Well, a lot of people moan about the use of 'gotten'. I've seen people doing it on this very thread. People think it's an Americanism and annoying when in fact it was totally standard in British English hundreds of years ago. I'm sure people back then were whingeing about people saying things like "he's got very fat" and whatnot.

It's just weird how people are so selective about what they think is OK and what isn't when it comes to evolution.

HaveringWavering · 08/09/2021 13:17

@NanaPorsche

You keep altering the meaning.

Is 'fix' - to fasten or now is it 'adjust'?

Fix my collar? I wouldn't have thought she wanted me to mend, fasten or adjust.

She was asking if her collar was straight.

So why not be more specific?

Fix my collar? 🤢

@Rozziie

“Fix my collar”- that would mean rectify the misalignment, makes perfect sense to me as a synonym for “straighten my collar”.

Fix as in put right. You’re hanging a picture. Your husband says “it’s not straight”. You move it and say “has that fixed it?”.