Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I get"

278 replies

Facilitatingdarkness · 07/09/2021 21:02

What's wrong with "Can I have"?

It doesn't even make grammatical sense! I've noticed it more and more when people are ordering coffee, to the point that more people say it than not.

Makes me irrationally angry. Just me?

OP posts:
Keke94LND · 08/09/2021 10:42

@Reallyreallyborednow

When I lived in scotland in the late 80’s it was commonly used. Not heard it anywhere else.

My own personal hatred is things being “dropped”. Clothes, albums, tour dates, tv programmes. Stop fucking dropping things, hold on to it properly!

Tbf I'll eat my previous words because I kind of eye rolled at this thread but in hindsight I actually hate when people say 'I picked up' when they're referring to items they bought, 'I picked up this top, and these pair of shoes'
Loubilou09 · 08/09/2021 10:43

@midsomermurderess

It's very common in Scotland. We are not a nation of rude boots. You are insecure about being sufficiently middle class. No one else give a fig.
Possibly not a nation of rude bots not but questionable brain cells when you put a G into a word that doesn't have one (Sandwich) Wink
Waitingforthecowstocomehome · 08/09/2021 10:48

It’s a very irritating Americanism. My son says it and I always correct him. It’s the lack of please at the end that annoys me too.

Keroppi · 08/09/2021 10:55

Some of these melodramatic responses!!! Grin

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir." Grin

ClippettyClop · 08/09/2021 10:56

I'm fine with "can I get". It's grating but that's language evolution for you.

What I don't get is "may you ...". My boss will say "May you write to so-and-so?" Of course I may do it, no-one's stopping me. But I wish she would just say "Please write to ...".

Keroppi · 08/09/2021 10:57

As someone who's worked in all tiers of customer service, from Mcdonalds to Harrods and Flannels, I'm happy with any kind of terminology for a request as long as it contains a please and followed by a thank you!

FanFckingTastic · 08/09/2021 10:59

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir." grin

Why not? Should we do away with saying please because McDonalds isn't fancy enough? Common courtesy should be the same wherever you are. What's wrong with being polite?

Loubilou09 · 08/09/2021 10:59

@Keroppi

Some of these melodramatic responses!!! Grin

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir." Grin

You don't have to say that, you just say "Can I have a Big Mac please" it's very simple and not melodramatic.
Jaysmith71 · 08/09/2021 11:00

"Can I get a coffee?"

"No you cannot. And if you jump over this counter and attempt to get one, I shall call the police."

upinaballoon · 08/09/2021 11:02

@BrilliantBetty

Language evolves. It's an Americanism and is here to stay.

My father used to get annoyed by people said 'good' instead of 'well' or whatever in response to 'how are you'. It's completely the norm now, so what a waste of time it was getting frustrated by it.

Your father was spot-on. 'Well' is an adverb and 'to be' is a verb and when you're asked how you are the answer is that you are well, or not well. It is incredibly conceited of anyone to decide that he or she is good. That's for other people to decide. the moving fashions of English.
Keroppi · 08/09/2021 11:04

@FanFckingTastic

Ah yes, at McDonalds: "Please may I have a Big Mac, sir." grin

Why not? Should we do away with saying please because McDonalds isn't fancy enough? Common courtesy should be the same wherever you are. What's wrong with being polite?

I wasn't talking about please! That should always be used. "May I have" sounds very Oliver Twist to me, so it's funny to contrast that with McDonalds.
AdobeWanKenobi · 08/09/2021 11:12

It's so annoying and so American. Grinds my gears every time I hear it and DH and I eye roll each other

Just out of interest @WhatATimeToBeAlive where do you think the phrase “grinds my gears” came from? Grin

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 11:18

What I meant was, grammatically speaking, 'may' is the wrong word to use when not asking permission. So yes, I think it counts as a grammar mistake, but I accept that my phrasing was not the best.

It isn’t a grammar mistake, or even a mistake at all. 'May I have' is a perfectly normal way of asking for something. What basis do you have for insisting that 'may' can only be used when asking for permission? And even if you define the 'may' in "May I have a coffee" as asking permission, what kind of chump would ever in a million years think that it meant "May I have theoretical permission to have a cup of coffee (but don't actually give me one)."? Perfectly normal, acceptable, standard, correct usage.

See meaning no.9 of about 15 here

moynomore · 08/09/2021 11:18

What I hated when I was in the US just before the pandemic hit was being asked "what can I get started for you? " I went to a clothes shop once and someone said they were going to get a changing room started for me. I didn't like it at all!

There are a lot of Britishisms that bother Americans too. That are grammatically incorrect. Like, "I was sat at the table ..." or " I seen him on the corner ..." No one in American would say those things.

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 11:21

Grin Grin AdobeWanKenobi. It's remarkable how selective people can be about which Americanisms are acceptable. It's usually the ones they use, rather than the ones other people use.

grinding gears

DeliaOwens · 08/09/2021 11:26

May I is asking for permission for something..."May I have a cup of tea please? ". Can I is around your capacity to do something..."Can you play poker?"
Language is organic and develops with usage...so Can I Get is becoming more and more normal in day to day life.

dementedma · 08/09/2021 11:27

This comes up regularly. Can I get is standard usage in Scotland and no one bats an eyelash

MasterBeth · 08/09/2021 11:31

@fluffythedragonslayer

But "get" means to be given something. "What did you get for Christmas?"

So, can I get a latte = can I be given a latte

But now, due to its previous use in America, it also means exactly the same as “may I have?”

“May I have” is becoming a more old-fashioned phrase.

That’s precisely how language evolves…

Rozziie · 08/09/2021 11:49

@lazylinguist

What I meant was, grammatically speaking, 'may' is the wrong word to use when not asking permission. So yes, I think it counts as a grammar mistake, but I accept that my phrasing was not the best.

It isn’t a grammar mistake, or even a mistake at all. 'May I have' is a perfectly normal way of asking for something. What basis do you have for insisting that 'may' can only be used when asking for permission? And even if you define the 'may' in "May I have a coffee" as asking permission, what kind of chump would ever in a million years think that it meant "May I have theoretical permission to have a cup of coffee (but don't actually give me one)."? Perfectly normal, acceptable, standard, correct usage.

See meaning no.9 of about 15 here

None of those uses apply to ordering a coffee in a coffee shop. Number 9 shows someone being addressed by name, the implication being that the host is being asked for permission. This construction is not appropriate in a situation where a customer is ordering something they're paying for.
AdobeWanKenobi · 08/09/2021 11:51

@lazylinguist

Grin Grin AdobeWanKenobi. It's remarkable how selective people can be about which Americanisms are acceptable. It's usually the ones they use, rather than the ones other people use.

grinding gears

Indeed. I love the evolution of language, and let's face it, had it not evolved we'd all still be grunting our way through life like early man.

Contact with others to learn language was always a local thing which I assume is how we picked up so many regional dialects and variations. It's a shame that is dying out with each new generation but with a global society it is to be expected.

Grinding my gears seemed to really take off with it's use in Family Guy, I imagine that is what brought it into common use here.

Rozziie · 08/09/2021 11:52

@DeliaOwens

May I is asking for permission for something..."May I have a cup of tea please? ". Can I is around your capacity to do something..."Can you play poker?" Language is organic and develops with usage...so Can I Get is becoming more and more normal in day to day life.
Exactly. You'd use that phrase in a friend's house, perhaps, because the context there is that you don't want to put them out and it would be rude to assume they even have tea in the cupboard.

Not at all the same situation as being a paying customer in a coffee shop. Of course they have coffee. Of course it's reasonable to assume they will give you some. The use of 'may' in that context is therefore forced and pretentious.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 08/09/2021 11:53

The King don't like it....

Kingsley Amis actively instructed the use of 'I'll get a coffee' as clear, concise & grown up. He hated all the prissy and convoluted 'please may I have' creeping into the English language.

Read 'The King's English' for a guide to good writing (& language generally).

If it's good enough for Amis, I'm fine with it.

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 12:01

None of those uses apply to ordering a coffee in a coffee shop. Number 9 shows someone being addressed by name, the implication being that the host is being asked for permission. This construction is not appropriate in a situation where a customer is ordering something they're paying for.

I don't see what being addressed by name has to do with anything. The title of section 9 is 'polite requests'. The speaker is very clearly politely requesting that Julia make/provide tea, because their guest has arrived. You surely can't think that 'May we have some tea?' in this context is a request for theoretical permission to have tea rather than a request for some actual tea?! I'm beginning to think you're pulling my leg...

lazylinguist · 08/09/2021 12:03

Oh and whether you're paying for the tea/coffee is completely irrelevant. Whether it's a host or a barista or your great auntie Edna, you're still politely asking for a hot drink.

user78231 · 08/09/2021 12:05

Yes, this is American (probably via a N. European source), but sadly they also generally miss out 'please'.

Hope the UK retains 'please', even if you are the customer.