Sayings on MN that you cannot stand!

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Inspired/copied/due to lack of my own ideas

What phrases/come backs/irritating things do people say on MN?

Be kind pisses me off.. I can't stand it.
Give your head a wobble
Boobing (just no)

“Paramedic here” “midwife here” “police officer here” etc etc. Really winds me up for no particular reason.

“NC for this but penis beaker, Sistine chapel, spider willies etc etc” - eurgh just no.

“You sound lovely”. I see this all the time and it really annoys me, again for no rational reason.

"I see two issues going on here..." (maybe cross-eyed)

"Defiantly" (definitely)

Lawyer here.. Social worker here...

Anyone who has a mother who does something out of the ordinary is asked if it could be the start of dementia.

@MissyB1

“educate yourself” “It’s not my job to educate you”

Both of the above usually being said by someone who could do with a bit more education themselves!

Oh I know, those rile me too.

I already have a point of view - why would I make an effort to consider someone else's when they're refusing to even tell me what it is?

Get your ducks in a row irritates me and when people call their period AF probably cos I've no idea what it stands for !

@tenredthings

Get your ducks in a row irritates me and when people call their period AF probably cos I've no idea what it stands for !

Aunt Flo.

It's very old fashioned but I think on here it's used ironically.

Thanks DrSbaitso, Aunt Flo ?!! WTF now that's definitely annoying !

‘Fast forward to…’

I've just remembered more

Are you on the spectrum OP?

Book yourself into a Spa/ Hotel until your DH does housework

We live rural

NC as outing, and it's vague so little chance of being outed

Does this dress look OK for a wedding/ christening/ night out?
Good God OP surely you'd never set foot out in public wearing that?

‘Gently tell them.’

Gosh thanks I was planning on channeling my inner Cobra Kai and roundhouse kicking my neighbour in the face while telling them to keep their music down.

Also scoffing/gobbling/munching/sucking.

This just means eating but when fat people are doing it. Thin people have a slice of cake and a coffee but fat people scoff a huge slice if fattening chocolate cake then suckle at their takeaway coffee.

'loosing' instead of 'losing'

@AveryGoodlay

I've just seen one! When poster A makes a statement or whatever on what they think is the right course of action and poster B quotes it and says "spot on!" Like they're the bloody expert who can validate the views of posters.

@AveryGoodlay I'm basically doing exactly what you are complaining about but THIS! Someone quotes a big massive post and just writes 'great post' at the end. Like why do I care that you think it's a great post?

See also people who say IMHO (In my honest/humble opinion). Hardly going to be someone else's opinion is it?

'Gently tell them.’

Gosh thanks I was planning on channeling my inner Cobra Kai and roundhouse kicking my neighbour in the face while telling them to keep their music down.
I so agree with this! Everything is "gentle" now. It's almost as if "gentle" is replacing "no offence". Like posters will say "OP, may I say just very gently, you've acted like a cunt"

See also people who say IMHO (In my honest/humble opinion). Hardly going to be someone else's opinion is it?

Annoys me too but I think this is because if they don't specify that it's their opinion, some dick will come along and start bleating for facts and studies to back it up.

The dick doesn't actually give a damn about the facts and studies of course, it's just about Point Scoring On The Internet

youboozeyoulose Yes! Every time I see it I just think.....TWAT!

Ducks in a row
LTB for something relatively minor
Give your head a wobble
Boils my piss (what?)
Darked on can fuck right off

"Are you getting help for your anxiety?" - a passive aggressive dig at the OP and the poster doesn't care at all if the OP has anxiety or is getting treatment for it.

When the OP gives background setting out a busy household but has a specific question about a specific situation (say a problem with her children's school), within 3 replies she will be asked if her "DH" does his half of the housework. The thread is then lost to posters stressing the absolute necessity of him doing 50% of the housework and the original question is forgotten.

‘Health care worker here’…… never sure what that means but if you’re a dr or a nurse you’d just say so so I assume they mean ‘did some admin for a chiropractor and now think I know something’.

‘Eh?’ incredibly rude. Rude rude rude. Usually in response to something perfectly clear and obvious.

Virtually anything posted on a ‘do I need A & E’ thread. So so many people with zero knowledge confidently making nonsense pronouncements.

Teeth itch 🤮

Never heard that expression in my entire life before joining Mumsnet!

Also it makes me cringe when people pretend they don’t understand an entire post because one word was incorrectly used/misspelled, although the meaning of the post is very clear contextually from other information.

So the post will say something like ‘I was gifted a car by my mum and now want to sell it, but I’m afraid it will hurt mum’s feelings’ and the first reply will be ‘you were GIFTED a car? What does that mean? Did you give someone the car? Is the car model called ‘gifted? I don’t understand.’

All of the above and my most hated if it's not been said already.

Makes me feel stabby

What a ridiculous thing to say never have I heard this said irl nor tbh any of the other stupid sayings that are often said on MN.

‘Use your words’