Sayings on MN that you cannot stand!

[Namechangedforthreadbackafter]

Inspired/copied/due to lack of my own ideas

What phrases/come backs/irritating things do people say on MN?

Yes! Using “baby” instead of “my baby”, “our baby”, “the baby” etc.

Drives me mad too. The inner grammar pedant in me also wonders whether it should therefore be capitalised, although it's not their actual name.

Ooh we haven’t had one of these threads for a while.

"Are you me OP?"...No I'm fucking not!

"You sound pleasant."
"You sound controlling/abusive."

I hate the second especially when the OP is clearly a victim of abuse.

@mim321

Yes! Using “baby” instead of “my baby”, “our baby”, “the baby” etc.

Drives me mad too. The inner grammar pedant in me also wonders whether it should therefore be capitalised, although it's not their actual name.

I cannot bear that either. I never referred to mine as, "Baby". You are quite right, it should be mine, ours or the, baby.

Another thing which I hate is, "We are pregnant". Since when did men become pregnant?

A lot of the 'them', 'they' and the like, instead of he, him and her, is confusing and often sounds like plural when the poster is talking about one person.

Why don't we just stop doing it?

@DrSbaitso

Yes, fucking sex reversals.

Occasionally they're relevant. Usually they're just so a poster can slate everyone for something they aren't doing over a situation they're not discussing. The very fact that we almost always see women in X position and men in Y is usually quite central to the point.

And reverses, the other kind. Would you trust the other person in your story to speak fairly and accurately for you? Just give us your side of it openly and honestly. Of course it's only one side, as ever, but we can be much fairer about it if we know who's speaking and can assess the bias properly.

I hate these too. I see them every damn day, saying something like: "If a man/woman did this noboby would care/everyone would freak."

Though this is usually applied to women whe they complain about something a man does.

@DoctorSnortles

'Are you me?'

Any 'boob' stuff.

Hubby/cuppa/biccies

'Picky bits'

There's also a lot of 'grabbing' - 'I went to the shop and grabbed some apples' or 'We grabbed some rolls from the buffet'.

I hate the grabbing thing too, though in fairness to Mumsnet I think this comes from magazines and diet literature, which has a horror of admitting that anyone ever eats.

It's always "reach for", "grab".

"When you fancy a cake, reach for an apple instead".

You mean eat an apple. Eat.

The weirdest thing about “baby” is everyone else in the household gets a D – DP took DD and DDog for a walk but left baby with me – but THE baby doesn’t. By rights it should be DB.

Anyway my other most hated, which I know is regional, blah blah, don’t care I still hate it and I’ve only ever come across it on MN: needs verbed. “Baby needs fed” must be my most-hated phrase on here. Sure I’ll get roasted for this (that poster, she needs roasted).

Not a saying but I cannot stand the term "wage"

"We bring in a good wage", "I earn a good wage" it really really irritates me.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

"Are you me OP?"...No I'm fucking not!

'Not my circus, not my monkeys' annoys me

Just spotted on another thread - wedding breakfast, always seemed such a wanky phrase to me!

Hubby had a picky tea. Tinkly laugh.

Tell them like it is (less said now)

My house my rules an MN favourite

Why do people need to list a set of rules they have

@SpamThief

Yeah I can't bear the overwhelming twee of cockwomble and wankbadger and all that nonsense.

But twee would be saying "sugar" instead of "shit". Wankbadger isn't twee.

• Book a spa day!

• next time they visit leave sex toys out on your bed and bedside table for them to find!!! Teehee!

• one day you’ll be a MIL/ your DDad will be DEAD / some of us would love to have family interested in our children - and all the other solipsistic reasons why the OP should put up with twattery from people in their lives.

@SionnachRua

Just spotted on another thread - wedding breakfast, always seemed such a wanky phrase to me!

It's the correct term for the first meal after the wedding, though. Comes from the time when the wedding party would all be fasting beforehand, so it did indeed break the fast. Plus it reminds people that this is a significant first for the couple.

It annoys me when someone, on page 12 of a thread, posts, "I'm clearly going against the grain here, but have you thought about cancelling the cheque?" When there's been over 200 posters saying the exact same thing.

@SionnachRua

Just spotted on another thread - wedding breakfast, always seemed such a wanky phrase to me!

I was pondering ‘wedding breakfast’ the other day actually, it is strange isn’t it but widely used I might geek up on where it originated 🤔

@DrSbaitso
Ahh
Sorry I should have ‘RTFT’ shouldn’t I 🥵
Thank you

@SirYawnsAlot

I hate the references to vaginas - or do I mean vulva? We all get the gyst of what is meant but someone always comes along to put the OP straight.

When a new scented pad comes out - no wonder I am itching down there. Does it really make you itch? Then every following poster starts itching.

On describing a rubbish DH / DP. My fanny has clamped shut - No one is asking you to step in and take one for the team.

- Every time I see this face I think fuck off.

Oh and any step-parent is evil and the child is poor. My DSD put antifreeze in the kettle and fed my baby mustard. Your poor SD!

These made me laugh, thanks.

one day you’ll be a MIL/ your DDad will beDEAD/ some of us would love to have family interested in our children - and all the other solipsistic reasons why the OP should put up with twattery from people in their lives.

I noticed similar during lockdown.

A single parent would post about being stressed with 3 young kids stuck in a flat during lockdown and a poster would then pipe up "count yourself lucky, I haven't seen my grandchild for 6 months, you need to make the most of every moment while they are young".

Oh fuck off, parenting is relentless at the best of times, we are living through it, not getting all misty eyed and rewriting history because our kids are grown up now. If you were stuck in the house with your grandkid 24/7 you would be complaining too.

Ha, see also: just enjoy the cuddles. I’d enjoy the fucking SLEEP pal.

Bloody 'massive salads' from the tiny little women who never eat.

I'm not saying I can't stand it but 'batshit crazy' seems to have gone batshit crazy repetitive.

Brilliant post, SirYawnsaLot.