Sayings on MN that you cannot stand!

[Namechangedforthreadbackafter]

Inspired/copied/due to lack of my own ideas

What phrases/come backs/irritating things do people say on MN?

Frothing at the mouth

Booby, boob, boobing

Yes, fucking sex reversals.

Occasionally they're relevant. Usually they're just so a poster can slate everyone for something they aren't doing over a situation they're not discussing. The very fact that we almost always see women in X position and men in Y is usually quite central to the point.

And reverses, the other kind. Would you trust the other person in your story to speak fairly and accurately for you? Just give us your side of it openly and honestly. Of course it's only one side, as ever, but we can be much fairer about it if we know who's speaking and can assess the bias properly.

On here and life in general.

"Curl up with a book"

Absolutely nobody fucking curls. People are more likely to shrimp up with a book 🤣

When people describe themselves as a real foodie…

I also hate it when people use the word 'host' as a verb

I find verbs used as nouns generally grate. It’s not just on MN.

Invite instead of invitation.
Recommends instead of recommendation.
License instead of licence.

I could go on.

Recommendations.

@Wavypurple

I know that I’m being unreasonable here but I hate the use of the word ‘pop’.

Just pop some cream on it.
I pop it in the oven.
I pop to the shops.

I don’t know why it makes me so irrationally irritated! I hate it!

Oh yeah! Much loved by midwives and obgyns too:

'Just pop up on the bed'

'Just pop your knees up to your bottom.

'Just pop your knees apart'

And so on.

Yes! Using “baby” instead of “my baby”, “our baby”, “the baby” etc.

My annoyance over it is so irrational that I punish the writer by refusing to read any more of their post in an irritable “that’ll show them” way. As if they’d know or even care!

Selfish or safe in relation to covid. Cringe.

@Etulosba

I also hate it when people use the word 'host' as a verb

I find verbs used as nouns generally grate. It’s not just on MN.

Invite instead of invitation.
Recommends instead of recommendation.
License instead of licence.

I could go on.

License is both a noun and a verb in American English, and the vast majority of people learning ESL/EFL now are learning the American version, so it's destined to become more and more well-used, not just on Mumsnet.

Unless I’ve missed it, my ultimate pet hate hasn’t been mentioned yet.

Thread title followed by:

Discuss.

When people put the little green face followed every single time by the words 'not envy'
(not envy)

@helips

When people describe themselves as a real foodie…

What are they supposed to say, though? Epicure? Gourmet? Gastronome? Aren't those more pretentious?

I do this every day and that is because they are big

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult that one drives me mad! It appeared in a recent seasonal thread along with other cliches such as a crisp walk in the woods and hearty stews.

Oh, so many

Are you on glue?

Get all your ducks in a row
Head tilt

How old would you say I am?

Got the ick

Women saying vile stuff like "That behaviour would make my vagina slam closed". Ew, yuk. Just say that it would be a turn off or something.

I'm sure there's many more...

'Are you me?'

Any 'boob' stuff.

Hubby/cuppa/biccies

'Picky bits'

There's also a lot of 'grabbing' - 'I went to the shop and grabbed some apples' or 'We grabbed some rolls from the buffet'.

Your house/kids, your rules

None of your business

I hate it when people offer
LTB
Could you take in ironing
Move to a cheaper area

As kind of "quick fixes" to a complicated situation. If you only have 56p to last til the end of the month , knowing you could rent somewhere £200/month cheaper in an area inconvenient to work/family/kids school etc is really not helpful!!

Same with LTB. If you're having relationship problems (unless in immediate danger) it really isn't as simple as packing a bag and leaving.

Ducks in a row

Tinkly laugh

Massive salads

DH/DS/DD and then post showing they're anything but darlings

Head tilt

"I went out with my partner and I chose a Michelin star restaurant, we had a 10-course meal. My DH wouldn't pay, because he wanted a Subway AIBU?"
MN ... "LTB OP !!!!! He's financially abusive"

"I'm finding it hard being home all day with baby, is it fair my DH works?"
MN... "You must tell your DH to give up his job OP, it's not fair he's not doing his fair share" OR.... LTB!!!!

Naice

The done to death darked on spider Willie's washing 🤬

"I'm feeling depressed and very low. I have no friends"
MN... "Well pull yourself together OP, it's no wonder you've no friends if you're miserable all the time"

My list goes on... 😁

I hate the references to vaginas - or do I mean vulva? We all get the gyst of what is meant but someone always comes along to put the OP straight.

When a new scented pad comes out - no wonder I am itching down there. Does it really make you itch? Then every following poster starts itching.

On describing a rubbish DH / DP. My fanny has clamped shut - No one is asking you to step in and take one for the team.

- Every time I see this face I think fuck off.

Oh and any step-parent is evil and the child is poor. My DSD put antifreeze in the kettle and fed my baby mustard. Your poor SD!

'Try the Freedom Programme'.

'I cant say too much or it would be terribly outing ...'

@SirYawnsAlot

I hate the references to vaginas - or do I mean vulva? We all get the gyst of what is meant but someone always comes along to put the OP straight.

When a new scented pad comes out - no wonder I am itching down there. Does it really make you itch? Then every following poster starts itching.

On describing a rubbish DH / DP. My fanny has clamped shut - No one is asking you to step in and take one for the team.

- Every time I see this face I think fuck off.

Oh and any step-parent is evil and the child is poor. My DSD put antifreeze in the kettle and fed my baby mustard. Your poor SD!

Same with step mothers though, they will always be seen as unreasonable on here and the mother will always the angelic one no matter how unreasonable the mother is and how much the the step mother bends over backwards to accommodate.

I have to agree with @PurpleDaisies that “be kind” just annoys me too. I find myself thinking ‘you asked for advice, you don’t get to tell me what style my advice comes in’

I also irrationally hate huge statements with no paragraphs and any post that starts ‘so…’

“Where’s the dad in all this?” Does it matter?! The op asked a question, just answer that.