@Islamorada
Gosh people in this country do not even care about their parents/ grandparents. Reading this thread is an eye opener. They are lefties until they have to open their purses. So disgusting!
Tbf my grandmother paid her own care. She left everything to a dogs protection racket or something. My mum and uncles didn't get a penny. They weren't bothered as they'd be told what she was doing and weren't expecting anything.
My parents are financially planning so we don't have to pay for any care they might need. My mum had to handle her mothers care issues a lot so is well aware of how it works and doesn't want to burden us with it.
This means I'm extremely unlikely to get any inheritance. Tbh in some ways I'm actually glad of this. It means I don't have to worry that I might be financially burdened by their care, so although i wont get the perk of inheritance, I'm free of that concern.
Meanwhile DHs parents are deliberately living it up to burn up all their assets and finances. DHs mother says she won't care about her care if she is demented. She doesn't however realise just how bad state provided care is - and shes not exactly good with 'things not being up to her standards'. So we can well see a situation arising where Dh and his siblings are expected to cough up just to make sure she can die 'in the manner shes become accustomed' to. Fortunately since Dh isnt trusted he isnt named as one of the decision makers on any of his parents paperwork so that mess will primarily fall to his brother and sister to work out between them.
My point here is that some people deliberately are planning for social care needs and others who can afford it are deliberately planning to avoid doing so because they think its the states responsibility (not realising what the quality of state care amounts to).
Thats the frustrating bit because you have a range of people either taking responsibility or deliberately abdicating it.
To say we don't care about our parents / grandparents care in that context misses a lot of points about quality of care and who is willing to pay rather than can pay. And who this burden of responsibility ultimately falls upon.
DH and his 2 siblings will have to probably do something for his parents despite them currently swanning off on cruises which are up to £80,000 time!
I don't think its hard to see why DH and his siblings are already concerned and quite resentful of the situation. His brother is a doctor so is all to well aware of the inadequacies of state social care and has tried to explain this to his parents without much joy...