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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My baby got a heat rash at nursery

152 replies

Galou · 06/09/2021 21:21

My baby girl is almost 9 months and today was her first full day at nursery after a 2 weeks settling period.

When I went to pick her up she was red in the face, her hair was greasy with the moisturiser I'd ask the nursery staff to apply on her for her eczema, had dirt trapped between her fingers and in the creases of her neck and arms, food on her face and fingers.... but, most shocking of all, a heat rash at the back of her neck!

My husband says I worry too much and that it's normal that babies and kids get messy and it's part of life, I shouldn't make a fuzz about it.

I'm thinking, we are paying the equivalent of our mortgage for a reputable nursery, they should be able to keep my precious little girl clean and comfortable! Am I being unreasonable?

Also, I always make sure she has lots of different clothes in her bag in case it gets hot or cold or it rains... how come she got a heat rash??? Did they not check if she was hot?

My heart is breaking and I don't seem to be able to separate my anxious mummy feelings from my objective thoughts ... what has been your experience with nurseries? Shall I speak to them? Do I speak to the key person looking after my daughter or do I speak to the management team? I don't want to be that mum but I just can't except that this is how it's going to be....

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 07/09/2021 19:47

It's heat rash. We're in a heatwave. It's to be expected, babies are prone to that sort of thing (well, mine were).

Holskey · 07/09/2021 19:57

Based on your OP, I was sympathetic but didn't think your baby had been in any way harmed. It is difficult when handing your baby over, not knowing what they're up to and if they're okay, and being certain they won't get the love and care you would provide. But they do get dirty and it's mostly good for them.

Based on your last update though, sunburn is not at all acceptable! My son has been in nursery during very hot, sunny days and this has never happened.

Suspicioussam · 07/09/2021 20:11

To those saying a heat rash is to be expected. Presumably OP has looked after her baby for 9 months, the last 3 months of which have been summer. If her baby was susceptible to heat rashes then she would be aware of that and it probably wouldn't have been a concern to her.

gingerbiscuits · 07/09/2021 21:09

@moita

I think food and dirt is pretty typical for a child of that age! Just give her a nice cool bath at home.

I always get heat rash and so does my DS when it's hot like today.

And ezcema cream does make you a bit greasy?!

Sorry I think YABU

I agree! Coming home from nursery a bit grubby from playing outside & having leftover food on their face is fairly standard.

The cream going everywhere is understandable - little fingers probably spread it themselves.

The heat rash is unfortunate but undoubtedly due to the very hot, sticky day we've had today! There's not a huge amount you can do to prevent a heat rash forming in the close, warm folds of a small child's skin on a day like today - it wouldn't really matter what she was wearing.

My over-riding question would be around her happiness. If she wasn't bothered by any of those things, then I'd let it go & be thrilled that she'd had a good day. If she seemed unusually uncomfortable, then I'd maybe mention that she's prone to overheating & skin reactions etc & ask them to keep a closer eye on her whenever possible in future.

BUT beware of over-reacting & being THAT parent over something that's not a massive issue. Choose your battles & all that.

Audreyhelp · 07/09/2021 21:10

I don’t think a heat rash is to be expected , this isn’t the first hot day we have had and the nursery should have noticed,

Ajl46 · 08/09/2021 14:17

No I wouldn't be happy with this. My DD gets lots of messy play at nursery but when she comes out her hands and face are always clean. If she's got food / dirt on her clothes they change those too and if she's too hot they take a layer off her. I'd have a chat with the room lead.

Rosebel · 08/09/2021 14:46

@Audreyhelp

I don’t think a heat rash is to be expected , this isn’t the first hot day we have had and the nursery should have noticed,
Heat rash doesn't always appear straight away. We had been home for a while before I noticed and in the next couple of hours it spread to become more noticeable on my son. Given I was only looking after 1 I wouldn't blame the nursery for not noticing as presumably they are looking after several children. Same with sunburn. They probably followed the guidance but some children burn more easily and it's usually not noticeable until it's too late. It's kind of a risk you take sending them to nursery. You know it won't be 1:1,and to them all the children are equally important.
Ajl46 · 08/09/2021 14:47

@EmbarrassingMama

You're not going to be able to cope very well as she gets older! They come out from nursery looking like street urchins every day. Do you want the staff to spend the day playing with the kids or constantly re-dressing 20 children 3 times a day...?

Massive PFB behaviour.

The kids at the nursery we use don't. I don't think this is PFB syndrome at all. I think it's basic care to keep a child (relatively) clean and at a comfortable temperature.
Suspicioussam · 08/09/2021 20:05

I can't believe a PP said that it's ok to let the kids burn occasionally as they have lots of kids to look after. Low expectations or what? Surely 'not being burnt' is the very least you'd expect from childcare.

VaguelyInteresting · 08/09/2021 20:40

Umm heat rash? It happens
Sunburn - no fucking way. I’d be kicking up a REAL fuss if my child came home sunburnt

MilkywayMonarch22 · 08/09/2021 21:28

@Galou how weird, I could have written this word for word. 1 year old first day at nursery , she has eczema and came back with a blotchy heat rash but was just in a vest. Trying not to worry as it's day 1 and I know DD doesn't do well in heat so not sure there's too much they could've done

Rosebel · 08/09/2021 21:59

I didn't say it was okay at all. I said it happens.
I am assuming most of you have never worked in childcare and don't know how many guidelines and rules are in place, and how hard it is to keep an eye on 9 babies.
I'm actually quite thankful I don't work in childcare anymore.
Anyway it's not okay but things do happen. Even parents are known to let their children burn. Should these children be removed from their parents?
I think it's unfortunate that this happened, especially in the first week but it's something I'd mention but not go mad over.

VaguelyInteresting · 10/09/2021 21:11

@Rosebel

Actually yes parents have been referred to social services where they have allowed babies to become burnt.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/we-begged-mother-to-protect-her-sunburnt-child-on-beach-claim-witnesses-6473624.html%3famp

Rosebel · 10/09/2021 21:26

That article is shocking but it's nothing like what happened in this case. Thankfully.
OP even said herself the sunburn wasn't that noticeable until the next day.
The nursery didn't leave a horrifically burned child naked in the sun.
It wasn't great, especially as baby had only just started, but it wasn't as if they deliberately allowed her to get burned. They probably felt awful about it.

VaguelyInteresting · 10/09/2021 21:37

I’m not saying it was what happened at the nursery but you asked if parents should have their children removed if they let them burn- not only do i think yes, they should be removed if it’s a clear case of negligence, also, yes it does happen.

Both of the nurseries I used for DS were “sun safe nurseries” and I never ever worried about his sun safety with them- but tbh I think it should be a mandatory expectation, not a “bonus” to standard nursery practice, that your child isn’t physically wounded when you collect them at the end of the day.

Suspicioussam · 10/09/2021 22:21

@VaguelyInteresting I completely agree. We should all expect higher standards from childcare. The very minimum you should expect is that your child isn't in physical pain at nursery, so that means being fed, watered, clean nappy and NOT sunburnt.
Processes should be in place to ensure it doesn't happen. Babies sat in the shade or suncream applied. If this has been missed, what else gets missed? and this is the babies first week! She should be receiving extra attention to ensure she's settling well.
It's not ok to just go 'oops well it happens' no it doesn't.

ConsulTremas · 10/09/2021 22:56

I’d be a bit perturbed by the food on the face and hands - doesn’t happen at my daughter’s nursery - but the rest of it I’d be pretty relaxed about. She sometimes comes out looking like a total shambles, but that’s the sign of a good day and is always well fed and happy.

ConsulTremas · 10/09/2021 22:57

Also, I should add the nursery we use are really hot on sun lotion.

Kanaloa · 11/09/2021 00:14

@Rosebel

I didn't say it was okay at all. I said it happens. I am assuming most of you have never worked in childcare and don't know how many guidelines and rules are in place, and how hard it is to keep an eye on 9 babies. I'm actually quite thankful I don't work in childcare anymore. Anyway it's not okay but things do happen. Even parents are known to let their children burn. Should these children be removed from their parents? I think it's unfortunate that this happened, especially in the first week but it's something I'd mention but not go mad over.
I have worked in childcare and found the nurseries I’ve worked at to be incredibly strict over sun cream. No outdoor play at hottest times of the day (usually lunchtime) sun cream to be reapplied every two hours etc, on hottest days children only allowed out for short periods.

Usually the ratio for under twos is 3 babies to one adult as well, so if you’re minding babies alone you’re being left out of ratio and that would explain why it’s more difficult.

Kanaloa · 11/09/2021 00:14

Minding 9 babies alone I meant! Of course in that case there is managerial negligence going on to leave a member of staff out of ratio.

Recessed · 11/09/2021 00:59

Think of nursery as a sort of holding pen until you return to pick up your DD. It's not a substitute; they won't give her even close to the care you will. That's possibly hard to read but it's the truth IME. It boils down to if you can cope with that/have the ability to change things financially. It shouldn't be that way but it is. I remember being equally horrified when I went to pick up my DC after their first day of childcare and my 14month old had the muckiest face imaginable. They had given her a chocolate biscuit - what baby needs a chocolate biscuit?! The horror I felt at the time Grin

Childcare always falls below par. It's a sacrifice. Sometimes we have no choice. If you do have a choice and you think it's going to really bother you then I would seriously consider other options.

Kittyswhiskers · 11/09/2021 12:37

If you feel like your child is at a holding pen whilst at nursery it’s time to have a good look round and find a new nursery. I have had 2 children at their current nursery. They have come on leaps and bounds. When I pick them up they are clean(ish), happy and full of beans about what they’ve done today. They send me photos of things they’ve done. They tell me about their friends and their likes and dislikes. All of mine have ended up with a sweat rash at nursery and I assume this is because they’re constantly applying sun cream (they’ve never had sunburn) and are generally more active. If we were at home I’d probably stay inside when it’s that sunny and warm but the nursery like them to get outdoors and have fresh air every day. But I’m happy they’re well cared for and although nursery staff can’t replace ‘mom’ my kids are fond of the staff there.

Kittyswhiskers · 11/09/2021 12:38

Also, spectacularly unhelpful comment about childcare ALWAYS being below par when most of us feel guilt at using childcare anyway - I can assure you this isn’t always the case and I’m happy with my babies being in childcare!

GuckGuckDoose · 11/09/2021 23:45

Totally agree @Kittyswhiskers! I frequently watch my happy well adjusted one year old literally run in to the arms of the ladies in her room at nursery she’s so pleased to see them. Elder one still loves going back at pick up time for a wee visit and a hello too. They come home clarted but that’s because they’ve had an absolute ball doing far more interesting activities than I ever seem to be able to muster on a day to day basis! No sacrificing going on over here…

Recessed · 13/09/2021 00:05

Also, spectacularly unhelpful comment about childcare ALWAYS being below par when most of us feel guilt at using childcare anyway - I can assure you this isn’t always the case and I’m happy with my babies being in childcare!

If you were happy why would you feel guilt then? That makes no sense?

I think it's no substitute but it's the best option we have right now. There's nothing controversial about that really, most people know this to be true. We only say otherwise to protect parents feelings but that does a disservice to children feelings IMO and they should be centered, especially if we want changes to be made to childcare provision/parental leave etc. So far from my comments being "unhelpful" I say it's actually more helpful to shift the narrative from preventing parents from feeling guilty to "what's the best child care scenario for children" and then positive changes can be made that will benefit everyone.