Neighbour problem

[Wotsitone]

The short version is that my next door neighbour has a university age kid who regularly has friends round in the garden and house until late at night. They don’t play music but the houses are very close and they are a large bunch who talk loud. The last time this happened was a Sunday night which kept us awake until 4am. The morning after that night I posted a letter asking if she could refrain from hosting parties on Sunday or a working day night as we had to get up early for work the next day (6am) and have small kids who can’t get to sleep because of their loud talking in the garden. At that time she came over to apologise.

Anyway today the neighbours kid has knocked on the door to announce that they will have another large gathering in the garden (practically under the kids windows). I said I wasn’t too happy that it was on a Monday night but obviously it’s not up to me but would they mind ever so much to go inside the house for half an hour between 8 and 8:30 so that I could get my kids to sleep as it’s hot and it will be hard to get them to sleep with loads of loud talking and if I shut the windows it will be very stuffy and hot. They basically told me no and they will do what they want in their garden and will not be dictated to. I reiterated that I was not trying to dictate to them merely asking for a neighbourly favour and again explained that it was hot, the kids just started school again today etc. They basically told me where to go

Should I suck it up, AIBU

Or should I be equally inconsiderate and make a large bonfire in my garden tonight?

Definitely a bonfire, or play loud opera or heavy metal with the speaker right up against the fence. I cant believe you gave them a reasonable solution and they were just twats about it.

Also, try putting a fan in the kids' rooms. They will be glad of the breeze, plus it makes white noise that might help to drown out the inconsiderate knobs next door

I wonder if your neighbour is aware of her charming offspring's actions? I think before I went full tilt into a neighbourhood row, I'd let her know, and say that you were a bit surprised, given how receptive and reasonable you'd found her to be?

I’d suck it for tonight but from 6am tomorrow I’d be anything but quiet.

So the women is reasonable but her kids an inconsiderate arse.

Go back to the woman and ask her if she agrees with her son in as much as they will do whatever they want and if little children can’t sleep nae luck. Politely. Nicely. And see what she says.

Could be she’s told him to give you advance warning, which is fine, however it’s not like you can take the kids out anywhere to escape the noise! He may even have told his mother you said it was ok.

Is it a bought or rented house next door?

Put some speakers by the window download a sound file called "15,000 hz sound" plenty on YouTube. Leave it running and go out they won't stand outside for long and you won't disturb all the neighborhood especially older people they can't hear it 🤣.

Play opera loudly

record the party and send it to the council and complain..little fuckers. As someone who lives on a terraced street and backs on to two gardens 'parties' are a rarity. Usually a once or twice a year event and can go on until 430 am but dont mind as it is rare. But someone having a big one and then informing you of another on a school night isnt neighbourly at all. I would be round their speaking to the parents.

What's opera ever done to anyone?

The woman herself came over with the surly teen and she was the one that said she won’t “live in a dictatorship”

We are renting, they own

I wish I had some speakers to download that file but unfortunately I only have an Alexa. I’m thinking smoky bonfire and opera music?

I've just seen there's a 15 minute sound file on YouTube at 15,000 hz

My dogs didn't register it as a sound though

Oh and the neighbour also said they couldn’t go inside for half an hour as that would disturb her evening

Nope I can't hear it either , my pets don't register it at all. But noisy teenager nextdoor hates it.

Op you could suggest to your neighbor that it is an issue to you and you don't want to fall out, but if it continues you will have to put milage n a formal complaint which means she will have to declare it if she ever sells her home and will loose money.

Alternatively if you feel it is harassment after you asked speak to 101 or council. You only need two separate occasions to be classed as harassment if they are deliberately upsetting you.

Swap the kids for your bedroom at the front for tonight ?

Alexa can play it

How can Alexa play it?

Take your kids out to play noisily in the garden to play at 6am.
On a serious note, I really feel for you. Sleep is a precious commodity, especially when you have young kids, and when these things happen, it's so hard to tune it out over the loud rage in your mind at the selfish unfairness.

What a horrible woman. I agree with pp about threatening the neighbour dispute thing.

PS I can hear that 15000hz sound on you tube. The one that gives you a countdown. Black and white screen. OMG it’s going right through me.

Are we oldies really not supposed to be able to hear it? Can you guys really not hear that?

I’ve always heard electrical sounds right enough but that’s gawd awful.

Sadly a bonfire will affect other nice neighbours and your own house. They are twats, early morning out in your garden making noise would be better. Dont stoop to their level, you cant reason with idiots. I would monitor it though and speak to her again if it continues like Retrodas suggests.

one of my kids was guilty of doing this sometimes, often when we weren't there. when we found out I was mortified
and when we were there we always got them in before midnight and it wasn't very often, maybe once or twice a year, no music, just chatting. and I would check with the neighbours as to whether they'd pissed them off. they never said we had, phew.

I think i was a CF in hindsight but was really struggling. so weird that the mum seems OK with it, really selfish! but teenagers are scary so maybe she's just getting through it.

maybe once it turns cold they'll stop...

Oh, in that case, it's war. Pots and pans, and wooden spoons. . . mebbe a hose.

I just did a little experiment. I just played this without my kid knowing....

Literally within 10 seconds my teenager put her finger over her ear and said 'mum, can you hear that high pitched noise - sounds like an anti mosquito device".

Go fill ya boots!!!!!!!

So selfish on a Monday night! I have kids that age and would never let them behave like this in my house.

I don’t think they wound though. We’ve had the odd loud weekend night when we’ve been away but that’s rare so I’d be miffed if the neighbours complained.

I think it's unreasonable to ask them to be quiet at 8pmtbh

Five Finger Death Punch, and in the meantime contact noise pollution team at your local council.